Shadow on Ice
by AccountClosedCept4PMingPhoenix
Summary: A destiny to shake the forest - a destiny for greatness, a destiny for tragedy, a destiny for love - and after it all, there is only one thing left... the will to live. Dust to Dust, Ashes to Ashes, Ice to Shadow. Nothing will ever be the same again.
1. Allegiances and Prologue

SHADOW ON ICE

ShadowClan:

Leader: Petalstar: white she-cat with amber eyes; stern and serious, but cares for her Clan

Deputy: Briarrush: brown tabby she-cat with green eyes; cunning and sly but a good fighter.

Medicine cat:Sleetflash: grayish silver tortieshell with deep blue eyes; she cares for her Clanmates but without very much 's a darkhearted cat.

Warriors:

Mudsplash: Pudgy brown she-cat with brown eyes; think she's nothing special even though she's devoted to her Clanmates and is a great hunter.

Hollyfire: black she-cat with ginger splotches and green eyes; she's a fierce she-cat that needs no tom, even though many like her.

Owlsong: light tan she-cat with amber eyes; she's gentle but has hidden steel. Maskface's mate.

Fishshadow: black tom with green eyes; crafty and secretly loves Mudsplash but won't admit it.

Maskface: Brown tortieshell tom; no one really knows what he's up to and he is totally mysterious and can keep secrets. Owlsong's mate.

Apprentices:

Silverpaw: silver she-cat with pretty green eyes; intelligent and all the toms like her.

Moonpaw: white she-cat with yellow eyes; doesn't care for toms and she's really tough.

Snakepaw: brown and gray tabby tom with green eyes; he's really shy and doesn't open up easily.

Queens:

None at the moment

Elders:

Sweetsnow: once pretty white and ginger she-cat with long fluffy fur and blue eyes; she's the only elder and easily gets lonely, but she's very sweet.

ThunderClan:

Leader: Lavenderstar: gray she-cat with blue eyes with purple flecks in them; gentle, loyal, etc.

Deputy: Tigersplash: black she-cat with amber eyes and an orange striped tail and paws; loyal, great fighter, ambitious, etc.

Medicine cat:Swiftwing: white and tan she-cat with green eyes; sweet medicine cat that has lots of sympathy for the patients.

Warriors:

Nightrose: black she-cat with green eyes; gentle on the outside but if you look deeper she's angry at herself. (Icepaw andSnowpaw's mother)

Wolfsong: gray she-cat with amber eyes; she's a good hunter, and she's ambitious but loyal. (Icepaw's mentor)

Shadefrost: black tom with icy blue eyes; cunning and sly but good loyal warrior.

Lightflash: tan she-cat with blue eyes; gentle and sweet, Owlstripe's mate.

Owlstripe: brown tom with lighter stripes and amber eyes; he's a good, honest, loyal warrior, Lightflash's mate.

Apprentices:

Icepaw: white she-cat with black splotches on left hind leg and deep blue eyes; ambitious and loyal, relies heavily on the warrior code, and feels as if she doesn't really belong in ThunderClan. (Snowpaw's sister)

Snowpaw: white she-cat with amber eyes; lots of toms like her and she's a bit flirtatious. (Icepaw's sister)

Forestpaw: brown tortie tom with amber eyes; he's got a crush onSnowpaw. (Owlsong and Lightflash's son)

Queens:

None

Elders:

Flameflow: ginger tom with amber eyes; grumpy old cat that bites peoples head off for fun.

Prologue:

Two cats slipped into the clearing. Two shadows danced across the ground under the oaks. The wind rustled the trees. The Clans had met here for longer than any cat could remember. This place was sacred, holy.

Whispers of doubt filled the minds of both. Was it right? Was it wrong?

Would they rue that night for the rest of their lives?

Neither thought that they would regret it so much they would wish the other dead.

But they would.

StarClan had spoken. _Thunder to __S__hadow, dust to dust, ashes to ashes, ice to shadow. Daughter of Thunder and __S__on of __S__hadow bring upon themselves the greatest pain the Clans have known. Bloom of the Night cannot hide it, but the face that shows nothing will be the undoing of both. _

Sleetflash never told her leader the prophecy.

But the cats of ThunderClan and ShadowClan would blame her later, for the prophecy that she could not hold from her lips.

_Shadow on ice is doubly wrong, for ice is cold-hearted and shadow casts all the others into shadow. The wrongs of the past and present cannot be righted, because of the daughter of Thunder._

_The forest will tremble, for the coming of the shadow on ice. Lies will be spread, and it will be thought that the wrong was righted._

_The wrong cannot be righted._

_The forest will be frozen, and lie under shadow._

StarClan warned the wrong medicine cat.

That wrong can not be righted.

No wrong can truly be righted.

No matter how hard you try.

**I've redone the prologue! I slightly changed the prophecy! **


	2. Chapter 1, Dark Heart

Chapter 1, Dark Heart

Nightrose screamed in pain. The medicine cat, Swiftwing, hurried into the ThunderClan nursery. "Push," the medicine cat instructed. Rain flashed down outside. Finally, two kits emerged. Nightrose gasped in relief. Swiftwing said nothing, as the two kits nuzzled their mother. Finally, Swiftwing asked, "What are their names?"

Without hesitation, Nightrose replied, "Snowkit," she said pointing with her tail to the pure white she-cat. "and Icekit," she said pointing to the one with the black splotch on her hind leg.

Swiftwing nodded slowly. "Who is the father, Nightrose?"

Nightrose froze, then started licking herself. "If a queen does not wish to tell, she does not tell, Swiftwing."

Swiftwing was about to say something, then Shadefrost stepped into the nursery. "Come on, Nightrose. Tell her _I'm _their father."

Nightrose stopped washing herself for a moment, then looked up at Shadefrost.

Swiftwing's eyes narrowed. Something wasn't right. But Nightrose wasn't going to tell her. As she left, Shadefrost stepped in. "I guess you got some trouble," he meowed mockingly.

Nightrose stiffened. "You're not the father."

"Yeah, I guess I helped you out there, didn't I? So, who is the father?"

"Like I'll tell you!" Nightrose flashed back, eyes darkened.

Shadefrost jerked back in mock surprise. "But Nightrose, I'm the father of your kits! come on, who is it? What, Owlstripe? Lightflash won't be too happy about that! Or is it some rogue?"

Nightrose turned her back on him.

*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*

Later, a sleek black form slipped out of the nursery. Nightrose hurried down the path towards ShadowClan territory. "Maskface? Maskface are you there?"

"I wouldn't miss it." The brown tabby tom stepped out of the shadows.

"Our kits were just born!" She purred.

He didn't acknowledge her. "Did any cat question about the father?"

She dipped her head. "Shadefrost claimed _he_ was the father."

Maskface hissed. "Liar."

"I named them just like you thought," Nightrose continued anxiously.

He nodded briskly. "Well you'd better get back to them, then."

Nightrose's eyes opened wide in hurt. "What's wrong? I thought you'd be happy!"

He leaned towards her. "Listen, Nightrose. I am _ShadowClan. _You are _ThunderClan. _The warrior code is against us!"

"But... but I love you! You once told me that our love was strong enough to do _anything._"

"I was wrong. I must be loyal to ShadowClan." He spat the last words out. "You must raise our kits to be loyal _ThunderClan _warriors."

Now it was Nightrose's face that was a mask. "I thought I meant something to you."

"I"m sorry, Nightrose. I have another mate now. It is the way it must be."

When Nightrose looked up, her green eyes brimming with hurt, he was gone.

Maskface raced back to camp, paws flashing over the green moss that grew only in ShadowClan territory. He was terrified Nightrose would follow him and tell the whole Clan what they had done. Suddenly, he bumped into Sleetflash. She was muttering quietly. He dashed into the warriors den without paying any attention. He had to get away before she could ask questions.

Sleetflash was having problems of her own. She didn't want to sleep inside camp, the same dream plagued her. The prophecy she had kept from her leader. She settled down in a sheltered pine grove, hoping that the dream would not return. But it did.

_Sleetflash was in StarClan's forest. Again, the cats of StarClan came to her. One brown tabby stepped forward, eyes flashing. Sleetflash flinched at the sight of the mismatched eyes. One eye was blue, and one was green. The tabby she-cat spoke to her again, angrily. "You did not tell your leader the prophecy!"  
><em>

_Sleetflash crouched down to the ground.  
><em>

_"You think we will not go to her and tell her? You think we rely on you? You are wrong! But I give you one more chance. Tell your leader the prophecy. **_Thunder to Shadow, dust to dust, ashes to ashes, ice to shadow. Daughter of Thunder and Son of Shadow bring upon themselves the greatest pain the Clans have known. Bloom of the Night cannot hide it, but the face that shows nothing will be the undoing of both. _**Tell your leader the prophecy, medicine cat! Why do you keep the knowledge from her? What darkness hides in your heart?"  
><em>

_Sleetflash said nothing as she shook herself awake.  
><em>

Was it the dawn that had woken her? She wondered. A smaller thought nagged at her. Was it the last question the cat of StarClan had asked her? _No, _she told herself firmly. _And I won't tell them the prophecy!_

"_I have failed," the brown tabby said, leaning on the shoulder of a white tom.  
><em>

_"We all failed, when we chose Sleetflash as medicine cat," he told her gently.  
><em>

_"It's not fair! Why does she deceive? Why does she lie?" she sobbed.  
><em>

_"She doesn't know what will come."  
><em>

_"Help us, any goodness that remains in this world. The one that will destroy us is the only one that can save us."  
><em>

_The tom closed his eyes, and recited the prophecy. "_**_Shadow on ice is doubly wrong, for ice is cold-hearted and shadow casts all the others into shadow. The wrongs of the past and present cannot be righted, because of the daughter of Thunder._**

**_The forest will tremble, for the coming of the shadow on ice. Lies will be spread, and it will be thought that the wrong was righted._**

**_The wrong cannot be righted._**

_**The forest will be frozen, and lie under shadow.** Why?" he muttered._

_"We have too many questions we cannot answer," the brown tabby said. Then she broke back into tears. "Why does Sleetflash lie? What secret darkness lies in her heart? Why will the only one destroy the forest? Why is the shadow on ice the only one?"_

**KK, review. In response to previous reviews:  
>Amber342: I realize that, sorry! But thank you for pointing it out, and thank you for reviewing! :D<br>Mintfrost29: Thank you!**  
><strong>Hawkpath of RiverClan: Oh dear! did you have it saved somewhere else on your computer?<strong>


	3. Chapter 2, Filthy Liar

Chapter Two, Filthy Liar

Maskface stood stiffly at the edge of his leaders den. The sand colored rock beneath him felt like it was tilting. "You... wanted to see me, Petalstar?" His voice was horse. Had Nightrose betrayed his secret somehow? Had Sleetflash seen Nightrose and told Petalstar?  
>"Yes, Maskface."<br>"I am here." He looked at the floor.  
>"I find that obvious, Maskface." Her voice was stern.<br>Finally he looked up, eyes glittering with shame and anger. "What do you want me for?"  
>Now it was she that looked at the floor. "Are you a loyal mate to Owlsong, Maskface?"<br>He flinched. He had to lie to his beloved leader. "Yes, Petalstar."  
>She nodded. "Are you a loyal warrior to our Clan, Maskface?"<br>He flinched again. "Yes, Petalstar."  
>She didn't bother to look up, her eyes staying on the sandy floor. "Are you telling me the truth, Maskface?"<br>He closed his amber eyes. "Yes, Petalstar." His throat felt like it was being pricked by sharp stones as he dragged the lie out.  
>Her amber eyes looked up at him. "Liar," she muttered.<br>His tongue felt thick as he said, "What?"  
>"Filthy Liar."<br>How had she found out? "Petalstar! I! I didn't know... I'm sorry, I..."  
>She spun around. "Maskface, what <em>are<em> you talking about?"  
>He stopped midsentence. What was going on?<br>"Sleetflash lied to me!" Petalstar cursed.  
>Maskface closed his eyes and prayed to StarClan that it wouldn't be because of him an honest medicine cat was punished.<br>"She said you were meeting with a ThunderClan cat on our territory! I must find out what other filthy lies she has told me." Petalstar whipped around and with her tail high in the air with fury padded out of the den stiffly.

"Yes Petalstar?" Sleetflash asked, her eyes set firmly on her stacks of herbs.  
>"<em>Filthy liar," <em>Petalstar accused.  
>Sleetflash froze. StarClan truly had told her leader about the prophecy! But they had given her one more chance! Why? Why, StarClan, why?<br>"You tried to poison me about one of my warriors! You filthy liar!"  
>Sleetflash stood still, confused.<br>"Maskface was _innocent! _Why on earth did you lie, Sleetflash?"  
>Sleetflash stood still as she recited the second prophecy. "<em><em>Shadow on ice is doubly wrong, for ice is cold-hearted and shadow casts all the others into shadow. The wrong cannot be righted. The wrongs of the past and present cannot be righted, because of the daughter of Thunder.<br>The forest will tremble, for the coming of the shadow on ice. Lies will be spread, and it will be thought that the wrong was righted.  
>The wrong cannot be righted.<em>_"

But the question still remained in Sleetflash's mind - even as her leader stared at her, Petalstar's gaze burning into her fur.  
><em>Why can't I tell her the first prophecy? <em>

**Ok, that's done! In response to reviews:**

**Amber342: Ok, thank you! (I 3 constructive criticism) I think not even Sleetflash knows, which is why she's so confused and mixed up. Sleetflash will be in it, don't worry!**

**Mintfrost29: Well, of course, unless I die unexpectedly, you will find out! And I don't think Snowpaw will be in it much, just to say...**

**Hawkpath of RiverClan: Yes, you were in love with Mintkit. **


	4. Chapter 3, Icy Curse

Chapter 3, Icy Curse

Nightrose sat down heavily in the nursery. The sun shone in through the green, pine roof. Shadefrost was playing with 'his kits'. Icepaw kept pouncing on his tail when Snowpaw was trying to tell him something. Shadefrost stopped for a moment and looked right into Nightrose's eyes. His eyes hid a dark promise - _I will know your secret._ Nightrose shook herself, and tried to tell herself she was imagining it. For all the warm looks of the day, it was frosty cold. Finally Snowpaw gave up on trying to say whatever she was trying to say and started wandering off into the cold leafbare air. Lavenderstar leapt up onto the High Rock. "Let all cats old enough to catch their own prey gather here beneath the high rock!" she called, her voice resounding more than usual in the crispy air.  
>Snowpaw bounded back to the nursery, brown leaves flying up in the air as she skidded through them. "Icekit! Do you think we're coming apprentices?"<br>Icekit rolled her eyes, licking her hind leg as she did so. "Snowkit, we're three moons old. Do you honestly think - wait..."  
>"What? You think we <em>are<em> becoming apprentices?" Snowkit asked eagerly, tail twitching.  
>"No!" Icekit lashed her tail. "I was just thinking about the summons. If only the cats that are old enough to catch their own prey then doesn't that mean that the kits that were about to be made apprentices couldn't come?"<br>Snowkit payed no attention. The details of Clan meetings were of no interest to her. "Whatever," she mewed. "Let's go see what it's about!"  
>"Did you just listen to anything I just said? We're <em>not<em> old enough to catch our own prey!"  
>Snowkit twitched her ears. "Do you think Forestpaw is cute?"<br>Icekit shrugged, then squawked incredulously, "_What? _Snowkit, we're, like, three moons old!"  
>"So?"<br>Icekit rolled her eyes and looked up. A robin flew across her field of vision. The sky was blue, but it was cold and the sun seemed weak. It was beautiful, though. Blue sky turned hazy pink towards the sun, and the only clouds that dotted the sky were white and fluffy. She scanned around the clearing to see where Snowpaw had gone.

Something caught her notice, though.

_Why were Shadefrost and Nightrose leaving camp?_

The Clan meeting didn't matter. She wasn't theoretically old enough to attend, anyways. She slipped through the tunnel, inhaling the scent of moss as she went. She looked around the leafy trees for them. Brown leaves crunched under her untrained paws as she crackled through the undergrowth. Amazingly, neither Nightrose nor Shadefrost heard her. "You've got a secret, Nightrose. Tell me." Shadefrost's blue eyes flashed with something that was almost anger.  
>Nightrose's voice shook, high and thin. "Shadefrost, you were very <em>kind <em>to tell everyone that these were your kits."  
>"I'll take it back if I have to, Nightrose."<br>"You would do that?" her voice betrayed surprise. "But my kits, Shadefrost. They adore you! Would you do that to innocent kits?"  
>Icekit shrunk back. What was going on? Shadefrost <em>wasn't<em> her father? What were they talking about? Of _course _Shadefrost was her father!  
>Shadefrost growled and spun off into the trees. Nightrose closed her eyes. Icekit hesitantly stepped through the leaves that all but covered her legs. "Mom? What's Dad talking about?"<br>Nightrose shut her eyes at the terms of endearment. She didn't deserve them. "It doesn't matter, Icekit. Shadefrost wasn't thinking, that's all."  
>"But Mom, that wasn't what I hea-"<br>Nightrose spun around, black tail dragging in the leaves. Her eyes were sad. "Sit down, little one, and I'll tell you a story." Then she begun the lie that would haunt Icekit's life forever.  
>"Shadefrost loves you, Icekit. And... he loves Snowkit, and he loves me. But sometimes he forgets things, and... he's not entirely <em>right <em>in the head. He makes up alternate versions of things sometimes. I love him very much, and sometimes you have to play along with his alternate versions of things."  
>Icekit nodded, taking it very seriously. After all, why would her mother lie? "Thank you for telling me, Nightrose."<p>

As Icekit padded back to camp in the cold air, cold tears ran down Nightrose's face. It seemed like any love she had was cursed. Her love for her Clan had been destroyed when she fell in love with Maskface. Her love for Maskface had been sucked into a black hole when he rejected her. And last and most painfully of all, her love for her kits had been destroyed when she had been forced to tell one of them a lie.

All because of one, stupid, mistake. And by the time Nightrose arrived back at camp, clouds had covered the sky, and cold icy snowflakes began to fall.

**Ok, I'm done! About the title of this chapter: There were so many different versions! First it was Dangerous Love, then it was Dangerous Secrets, then it was Rotten Secrets, then it turned into Cursed Love, and then Icy Love, and then Melted Snowflakes, and finally, Icy Curse. Icy is from me (Icekit) and the snow, and curse is from... well, when she's thinking about her love being cursed. In response to reviews:  
>Amber342: Thank you! I'm really glad you liked it. And sorry about Sleetflash, I made a mistake - her eyes are deep blue, not amber. Thank you for continueing to review!<br>Hawkpath of RiverClan: I know... it was almost painful to write.  
>TabbyCat47: Thank you! I know Sleetflash is a little harder to love, but at the same time it's more interesting to have a medicine cat that isn't all perfect and caring. And she's basically what you guys think of as typical shadowclan... what i mean by that is I think ShadowClan is heavily influenced by Brokenstar, who wasn't ShadowClan's only leader. Just cuz we're kinda greedy doesn't mean we're necessarily EVIL... I'll stop trying to convince you now... but I really think that ShadowClan isn't as bad as they're made out to be.<br>SnowstarX: Thank you is really all I can say - constructive criticism helps me. I love positive reviews, and I also love helpful suggestions! I will promise to try to keep what you said in mind.**

**Thanks to all that reviewed!  
>~Iceshadow<br>**


	5. Chapter 4, Excecutioner of Dreams

Chapter 4, Executioner of Dreams

Maskface twitched in his disturbing dream._  
>Petalstar was leaping up onto the high rock. Maskface stepped from the warriors den, seeing his brown paws and the ground in front of them. "Let all cats old enough to catch their own prey gather here beneath the high rock!" She called. Her gaze found Maskface and he flinched away. When he looked into her eyes he saw fire engulfing him. He saw the fire of madness devouring him. The ground seemed to shake as Petalstar swept her gaze of fire around the clearing. Something was very wrong with Petalstar.<br>"Maskface has broken the warrior code, and has lied to me. He blamed an innocent clanmate for his disloyalty to our Cla__n. Sleetflash is innocent! Maskface lied to me to protect himself against my wrath, blaming our loyal medicine cat. Maskface fell in love with a ThunderClan cat, and he will pay the price." Petalstar stopped speaking, stepped aside, and gestured with her tail to Nightrose. Nightrose was in a ring of brown briars with red stains all over her. There were wicked gleaming eyes in the dark gaps of the pine trees, ready to slit her throat with their claws. Their claws were long, and curved. They glinted in the sunlight. The eyes also glinted, promising Nightrose's death. "His punishment will begin now," Petalstar announced.  
>The warriors stepped forward. Maskface flinched back in surpris<em>_e. All the warriors were exactly the same. Maskface flinched as he recognized Shadefrost,__ the ThunderClan warrior that had lied to ThunderClan and said he was the father of Nightrose's kits. The sun suddenly shot down in the sky and all was black. The moon began to rise in the indigo sky with no stars__.  
>Suddenly, Shadefrost was cut down from behind. His black pelt crumpled to the floor cluttered with pine needles. Blood burbled out of the back of his mouth. From behind Shadefrost, another cat stepped. Maskface's heart leapt into his mouth, and his head pounded. He knew the she-cat.<br>It was one of his kits, Icekit. He had wanted to see his kits even after he had said 'No' to Nightrose. He had snuck into the very heart of ThunderClan camp. He recognized the white she-cat with flashing blue eyes and a black splotch on her left hindleg. He tried to scream, "No!" but it was no use. In the dream his voice wouldn't work. Icekit's eyes were cold, and she wasn't a kit any more. She was a warrior, and... even more different. When Maskface had seen her in the warm nursery, she had been a soft, fluffy, innocent kit. No more. She was a proud, fierce, warrior. Blue eyes flashed with cold promise - death.  
>His kit was going to kill her mother. What had happened?<br>_

_An icy chill hit him as he realized.  
>Her parents lies had done this.<br>Just as he was about to awake, a dark gray she-cat with deep blue eyes stepped from the shadow of a small pine tree. It was Sleetflash. Her eyes were wide and frightened. "Only me!" she muttered. "Why only me? It's not true! It can't be true! And the only other is destined to die... oh StarClan, why?"  
>Maskface didn't get a chance to ask what she meant as he suddenly awoke with a gasp.<em>

Maskface was licking his rumpled tabby fur when Petalstar raced onto the sandy high rock. Maskface's amber eyes widened. It couldn't be happening in real life!_  
><em>Petalstar shifted her paws anxiously against the rock, barely noticing the pain as her claws flexed against the rock and scraped into the shallow that she had carved out over time. The shallow was where she always scraped her paw. Grains of sand settled around the white paw as she looked around for the one face she wanted yet didn't want to see. Finally, Sleetflash emerged from the medicine cat den, her eyes betraying her hurt. Petalstar couldn't bear to look at Sleetflash. Sleetflash had lied to her. Sleetflash had betrayed ShadowClan. Sleetflash had also been her best friend since they had been born. She opened her amber eyes wide to the sky and sent a silent prayer to StarClan. _Give me strength, please. _"Sleetflash has lied to me," she began in a croaking voice. "Sleetflash told me that Maskface had been meeting with a ThunderClan cat on our territory. She lied. Maskface is a loyal warrior-"_  
><em>Sleetflash broke in. "It's not true! I have proof, more than my word or Maskface's! StarClan gave me a prophecy... _Thunder to Shadow, dust to dust, ashes to ashes, ice to shadow. Daughter of Thunder and Son of Shadow bring upon themselves the greatest pain the Clans have known. Bloom of the Night cannot hide it, but the face that shows nothing will be the undoing of both._See? The face that shows nothing is **Maskface**!"  
>Petalstar stiffened. Sleetflash had just made things harder. "You kept this prophecy from me?"<br>Sleetflash's tail stiffened, realizing she had made a mistake.  
>"You are exiled, Sleetflash! ShadowClan will find a new medicine cat! If you are seen after dawn tomorrow, you... you will be killed." Petalstar's voice drained away like rain through sand. She could say no more. But she didn't have to.<br>In a whirlwind of hurt and pain, Sleetflash raced away from camp. Everything had gone wrong. No one would heed her warning now, they would interpret it as excuses. She had done the right thing, but no one would listen! _Please, StarClan, save the forest from the evil that is the Shadow on Ice. _She stopped as a though occurred to her. She had done wrong, and played a part in the prophecy just by not telling it - now no one would heed it. Would the Shadow on the ice, whoever it was, make the same mistake while trying to do the right thing?  
><strong>Ooh, cliffie! OMG 16 reviews... In response to reviews:<br>Amber342: Agh, sorry about that! It's so hard to remember I haven't gotten there yet... Thank you! It was a hard choice deciding, but I did.  
>SnowstarX: Thank you very much for your helpful suggestions! I will try to follow hints, as they have helped me a lot, but at the moment I'm trying to stream line descriptions. Once I can do it without thinking about it, it should improve and then I'll work on sentence flow! It means a lot to me that you help me like this... :D<br>Mintfrost29: I know, but it makes an interesting story, at least!  
>TabbyCat47: Thank you! I will continue, don't worry. Sleetflash will become more likable, promise! If every one was perfect, no one would develop, as I'm sure you can agree...<br>Hawkpath of RiverClan: Oh no... *groans* But thanks for the compliment!  
>~Iceshadow of ShadowClan<br>**


	6. Chapter 5, Bittersweet Destiny

Chapter 5, Bittersweet destiny

Icekit bounced around, whispering under her breath, "I'm gonna be and apprentice, I'm gonna be an apprentice." Snowkit was more dignified, grooming herself near a small stump. The foliage around her whispered in the light breeze. Snowkit fluffed her fur up against it. Snowkit's fur was long and fluffy, while Icekit's was shorter, although she could fluff it up when she wanted to. Forestkit was also becoming an apprentice. He was usually gentle, but the thought of Snowkit going into battle made the tortoiseshell fur on his back bristle. She looked so nice when her fur was freshly groomed. Forestkit was wondering if he should go and talk to her when Icekit bounced up right in front of him. "Forestkit!" she said all in a rush. "Have you seen Shadefrost anywhere?"  
>Forestkit shook his head. Icekit was so <em>weird.<em> She acted all kit like in front of warriors but when she talked to other kits - or at least to Snowkit, she was snippy, sometimes even mean. Was it all an act or what?  
>Icekit meowed in frustration. Forestkit looked back in Snowkit's direction. When Icekit's voice came again, she sounded scornful. "In love already, are you?"<br>Forestkit whipped around back towards her. Fury blazed in his amber eyes. Icekit shrank back in surprise. What on earth was wrong with him? She hurriedly looked down at her white paws, for the first time feeling the pricks of the green grass in them. "I... just..." she tried to apologize, then stopped. She didn't owe him any apology! She looked up, her blue eyes betraying no emotion. "I don't have to say sorry to you," she told him matter of factly.  
>"Say sorry!" he ordered her. She fought the urge not to turn tail and run back to Nightrose. She made a show of sitting down on the grass and starting to groom herself as if nothing was wrong. But her legs were like jelly. She had never seen this side of Forestkit before. She had never known he could be so angry. Forestkit gritted his teeth. "Say sorry!"<br>She looked up mutinously. "Say 'I love you' to her already! And then you can have kits and have a happy ever after ending! Unlike _some _people!"  
>Foreskit cocked his head. "What do you mean?" the blaze had gone out of his amber eyes, and his fur had began to lay flat again.<br>"N-nothing," Icekit hurriedly covered up. Then she regained her normal disposition. "Come on, why don't you say it?"  
>"Stop it!" he protested, tail swishing over the grass.<br>Icekit rolled her eyes up to the pinkish sky. It was just after dawn. "Are you afraid she'll reject you? After all, I did hear her say that a ShadowClan apprentice was really impressive, and she never even _saw_ him! I wonder, is her heart already stolen?"  
>Nightrose immediately rose to her feet from near the fresh kill pile. She was about to say something when she thought better of it. After all, it would run in the family then, wouldn't it? But she wasn't prepared for what came next.<p>

Forestkit launched himself at Icekit, claws unsheathed. Icekit squealed at him to stop, but when blood came pouring down from her shoulder she sprang away. Forestkit was already mortified when she turned back. He expected to see her looking hurt and mad at him, but he flinched back at what he saw. Icekit's eyes flashed with more anger than he had ever seen before. She slowly advanced towards him, one paw in front of the other. Suddenly, in the blink of an eye, Icekit had jumped on top of him in a flurry of claws. He was pinned down to the ground and her teeth were near his neck before she stopped. "I think you should say sorry," she hissed in his ear before letting go. Forestkit scrabbled to his paws. He would have said sorry, but he had seen the mad rage in Icekit's eyes. She had been going to kill him. He was sure of it. She was insane. Crazy. She was a killer.  
>Icekit saw his terror in his eyes. Was he right? Was she a murderer? She had only just stopped herself - and worse, she had started it. Snowkit had padded over, looking over both of them in blind shock. Icekit was ashamed. Terribly ashamed. Nightrose hurried in and picked Icekit up, took her to the nursery and started grooming the blood out of her fur. Icekit was finally lulled enough to forget about it - almost. But as she stared up at the bracken and moss roof of the nursery, the back of her mind was echoing with the fight. Images flashed past her eyes, and she didn't see what was in front of her. She saw Snowkit, grooming herself in front of the aged stump. She saw Snowkit, climbing on top of the stump while looking at Forestkit. Icekit tried desperately to look away from the look of love in Snowkit's eyes to the pile of rocks to the left of the stump, but she couldn't. She saw Forestkit's amber eyes finding Snowkit once she had looked away. She saw Forestkit, his eyes blazing with anger - and what she hadn't seen before - fear and hurt. She saw blood from her own shoulder trickling down. Then she saw what she would have done if the thought of Snowkit hadn't stopped her. Snowkit loved him, but she couldn't stop the image of what she knew would have happened if she hadn't thought of Snowkit from coming to her mind. She saw Forestkit's dead body, crumpled to the floor with blood at the neck. She saw Snowkit wailing over him. Finally, she saw her own eyes glittering with triumph over her enemy. Suddenly, she had gone beyond what she knew into pure imagination - or what she thought was pure imagination.<p>

_ She couldn't stop the images from coming. Forestkit was dead on the floor. Snowkit hurried over to her sister and cursed her while tears ran down her face, mingling with the dew and blood on the grass. Snowkit's deep blue eyes flashed at her with rage. "Murderer!" she screamed. The accusation rang in Icekit's ears. "Murderer!" Nightrose accused. "Murderer..." Shadefrost murmured. "You are a murderer!" Lavenderstar decreed from the High Rock - where she should have been given her apprentice name. Rocks showered down on her from the High Rock, striking all around her. "StarClan's will is clear!" she decreed with her eyes to the sky. The sky had suddenly become cloudy, and the clouds were almost black with rain. As Icekit continued to look up, the sky darkened and darkened until it was almost impossible for her to tell if it was night or day. There was no moon or stars. "Since these rocks have fallen around you, so to will our warriors. Our warriors will avoid you like the rocks until dawn tomorrow. Then the rocks will shower down upon you and crush you. You are exiled!"  
>Icekit found strange words coming out of her own mouth. "You will pay for this, cats of ThunderClan. And you," here she gestured to Nightrose and Shadefrost. "You deserve to die for what you have done! This is you! Don't you realize? You did this to me!"<br>Icekit ran into the forest, tears streaming down her white fur. Thorns tugged at her fur. She didn't care. From being the righteous promising cat in the clearing, she had gone to being a disheveled cat with nothing left to live for. Finally, she collapsed to the floor. Holly leaves pricked into her sides. Her mouth formed the words, "StarClan help me." Weeping racked her body. Her mind fought desperately for control against the sobs.  
>A dark gray cat stepped out from the shadows. Deep blue eyes stared at Icekit. Icekit felt herself being inexorably drawn to the blue eyes until she could see nothing but the blue of one of the eyes. She found herself being sucked still deeper. Finally all she could see was the black of the iris. From the strange cats mouth, words boomed. She felt herself being dragged back from the comforting presence in the blue eyes, to see the cat's whole face again.<br>"_**_Shadow on ice is doubly wrong, for ice is cold-hearted and shadow casts all the others into shadow. The wrong cannot be righted. The wrongs of the past and present cannot be righted, because of the daughter of Thunder.  
>The forest will tremble, for the coming of the shadow on ice. Lies will be spread, and it will be thought that the wrong was righted.<br>The wrong cannot be righted._**_" Before Icekit could ask what she meant, she was sucked back into the dry nursery.  
><em>

Nightrose's worried eyes stared back at her. "Are you alright, Icekit?" Icekit struggled to her feet, trying to clear her head of the disturbing images that still clogged her thoughts. "I'm fine," she mewed weakly.  
>Nightrose nodded. "Are you ready to become an apprentice? No training today, though. What... what happened? Did you say something to make Forestkit angry?" The last words were an accusation. Icekit could make people angry at her very easily.<br>Icekit swallowed. "I'm sorry," was all she could say. Snowkit meant everything to Icekit. She'd never betray her secret.  
>Nightrose nodded. It was good enough for the moment.<br>Icekit scampered up to the high rock. Snowkit pressed against her, offering silent comfort without accusation. Icekit and Snowkit subconsciously crossed their paws, so Icekit's right paw was like Snowkit's left. Snowkit did the same in reverse. It was something they always did when they were about to do something important together, or when offering comfort. It was a symbol of how close they were. Forestkit watched from Snowkit's other side with silent envy. He scuffed his paws in the dirt. Was Icekit right?  
>Lavenderstar began. "Although two of these apprentices have recently come to blows, they will be given apprentices names. Hopefully they have learned from this."<br>Icekit thought, _I've learned more than I wanted to in my entire life. _  
>"From this day forward," Lavenderstar looked at Snowkit, "until she receives her warrior name, she shall be known as Snowpaw. Lightflash, you are ready for an apprentice. You shall mentor Snowpaw. You are an excellent warrior, and I expect you to pass on your compassion and skills to her.<br>"Until Forestkit receives his warrior name, he shall be known as Forestpaw. Shadefrost, you are ready for an apprentice. You shall mentor Forestpaw. You are a strong warrior, and I expect you to pass on your cunning and skills to him.  
>"Until Icekit receives her warrior name, she shall be known as Icepaw. Wolfsong, you are ready for your first apprentice. You shall mentor Icepaw. You are a noble warrior, and I expect you to pass on your perserverance and loyalty to Icepaw."<p>

Icepaw lifted her head. She had become an apprentice.

She had also almost murdered someone. What was becoming of her?

**Ok! Do you think that chapter was too weird? I kinda got lost... Anyway, in response to reviews:**

**SnowstarX: You're right, that does seem to help! Unfortunately I can't always find the time to look back over my work... Thank you! It always makes me happy when some one reviews and helps.**  
><strong>Hawkpath of RiverClan: Well here it is! About your story, Path of a Hawk - I think if you delete it, it's gone, but if I see anything I'll let you know. I'll PM you with the things I remember. Sorry...<strong>  
><strong>Mintfrost29: Yes... I do... pretty damn guilty, I'd think.<strong>  
><strong>Eevee2leafon: here the update is...<strong>

**KK, I'm done!**


	7. Chapter 6, Shadowy Prophecy

**o.O Okay, sorry about the last chapter. I'll try to make this one better!  
><strong>Chapter 6, Shadowy Prophecy  
>Sleetflash couldn't believe it. She was <em>exiled! <em>Petalstar had _exiled _her. And all because of that traitorous, lying, deceiving, Maskface. Birds chirped above her head. She scowled at them. They had no right to be that happy. She stumbled through the thorns and briars. There were spots of blood on her paws from all the thorns embedded in them. Finally, she collapsed to the ground near an oak tree. The oak tree was the only one around it for around five tail lengths in every direction. The ground was a vibrant mossy green. Sleetflash closed her eyes to the blue sky and the dark tree tops of pine contrasted with the light tree tops of oak. The forest was mixed her - pine trees mingled with oak trees. She was beyond any Clan territory she knew about, so she didn't need to go any further. But she needed a den to sleep in, before all the other animals came out at night. She looked up. Judging from the position of the sun, it was about sunhigh. The feeling of disbelief grew until she was sure something was very wrong. The prophecy was clear to her - but weren't they supposed to be secretive? She sat bolt upright as a horrible thought occurred to her. She shut out the forest around her as her mind strained to think.  
>What if the prophecy was just a warning? It was awfully vague, all it said was <em>Shadow on ice is doubly wrong, for ice is cold-hearted and shadow casts all the others into shadow. The wrong cannot be righted. The wrongs of the past and present cannot be righted, because of the daughter of Thunder.<br>The forest will tremble, for the coming of the shadow on ice. Lies will be spread, and it will be thought that the wrong was righted.  
>The wrong cannot be righted.<em> So whatever the wrong is couldn't be righted, and the shadow on ice would... what exactly would the shadow on the ice do? According to the prophecy, the forest will tremble for the coming of the shadow on ice. So the shadow on the ice would do something bad, but what? Damn prophecies. They were so unclear!

Meanwhile, Maskface was sitting in the ShadowClan nursery and brooding**. **He had done so many things wrong, and now this. Owlsong had fallen in love with him. He recalled moons ago, when Nightrose was in the nursery. That night had broken his heart in so many ways.  
><em>"Do you want to go hunting?" Owlsong asked eagerly, her amber eyes glittering hopefully.<br>Maskface was worried about what he would tell Nightrose. He had to tell her 'no'. That they couldn't be together any more. He looked up at Owlsong. "What? Sorry, I didn't hear you?"  
>Owlsong looked slightly put off, but repeated again for his sake, "Do you want to go hunting?"<br>He groomed himself absentmindedly. __"Okay," he said flatly._**  
><strong>_Owlsong frowned in disappointment. Of course he didn't want to go hunting with her. He was too good for her. "So, where do you want to start?" she asked, now with false enthusiasm.  
>"Where do you want to go?"<em>_ he said with indifference.  
>"Let's try Pine Hollow?" she asked hesitantly. Pine Hollow was were the apprentices trained, but there were none there today. She didn't want to hunt with Maskface, she wanted to talk to him and really get to know him. He never let anyone get to know him, he just had to be so hard to access. He didn't joke. He didn't seem to take any pleasure in life. He really needed someone to love.<br>"There won't be any fresh kill there," he told her._**  
><strong>_She said, "Oh, you're right." she smiled weakly. "Well, what about the marsh? We might be able to catch a frog or two there..." she trailed off hopefully._**  
><strong>_Maskface nodded. "If you want to," he mewed sullenly._

_Owlsong trailed her tail on the ground next to Maskface's tail. She gazed at his attentively pricked ears. There were no frogs about, she could tell. "Maskface, can we talk?" she asked._  
><em>The sky was cloudy above like Maskface's eyes. He was thinking of Nightrose. "Sure," he mewed.<em>  
><em>"Maskface... have you ever been in love with some one?" she asked, tears welling up in her eyes. He didn't love her. She was sure of it.<em>  
><em>"Yes," he answered truthfully.<em>  
><em>Owlsong's heart soared. "Maskface," she mewed gently, brushing her tan tail against his cheek, "I love you."<em>  
><em>Maskface looked up at her, amber eyes wide. The forest around his face seemed so much softer than the rest. Everything melted away in Owlsong's view except Maskface's face.<em>  
><em>"I... I need time to think," was all he said before turning tail back to ShadowClan camp.<em>**  
><strong>Now Owlsong was in the nursery, with Maskface's kits. He closed his amber eyes. So much had gone wrong. The dark gray sky outside only deepened his anger, sorrow, and guilt. He shuffled his paws in the moss. Owlsong was awake. "Should we give them names?" she meowed. Their kits had been born the previous day. He cast a glance over his new kits. He vowed he would love these kits like he would have loved Snowkit and Icekit, as Nightrose had named him. He would love these kits like no other. They were **his **kits. **ShadowClan **kits. He suggested, "Moonkit?" for the white kit with yellow eyes.  
>Owlsong smiled. "It's a lovely name. What about Silverkit for the silver one with green eyes?"<br>"I like it," he said smiling. He could almost love her. She was so brave, and so caring at the same time. Almost. But he had loved Nightrose first, and that would haunt him for the rest of his life. He curled up to Owlsong, grooming her tan tabby fur as she drifted to sleep with Moonkit and Silverkit against her stomach. He buried his face in her soft long fur. He wanted nothing more than to go to sleep, but once he did he regretted it.  
>It was another dream.<br>_The world was made of high branches and thorns above his head. He realized he had shrunk. The sky seemed huge. He saw a mouse in front of him. Before he could pounce, it turned into a small white kit with a black splotch on it's hind leg and blue eyes.__ "Who are you?" the kit asked. It was a she-cat, and he felt like he has seen her somewhere before. He found the words, "Didn't Nightrose tell you? I'm your father," spilling out of his mouth. He didn't want to say them, and suddenly he realized who this was. It was his kit, Icekit!_**  
><strong>_The kit cried out as she realized her betrayal. He caught sudden flashes of Icekit laying on the cold white snowy ground, with red blood spilling from a cut in her stomach. But she was bigger. The shadow she cast on the icy ground quickly became red as she lay there, bleeding to death. The snow around her was all red. Grass poking up from the snow became stained with red dew.  
>Maskface<em>_ couldn't lose the feeling that it was his fault somehow. It didn't help when Sleetflash burst from the bushes in front of him, deep blue eyes wide in terror, and yelled, "**You did this to me! You made the prophecy come true!"**  
>Maskface didn't know what she was talking about, and tried to say so but his mouth wouldn't work. His last vision before waking up was the hurt in Icekit's eyes as she lay on the ground, bleeding.<br>_Maskface woke up with a start. He looked at Owlsong's sleeping form, and closed his eyes. But the last image he saw wouldn't leave him. It was burned into his mind forever.  
>He couldn't shake the feeling that Icekit was going to die.<strong><br>**


	8. Chapter 7, Broken Love

Chapter 7, Broken Love

Shadows flickered across the age old gathering place. The four oaks stood against the velvety sky and low murmurs swept across the gathered cats like wind across a lake. Icepaw sat near a bramble bush with Snowpaw and Nightrose. She scuffed her paws in the dirt. Her tail was cramped against the thorn bush but Nightrose insisted they stay here for the best view of the gathering. Icepaw wanted to move, but Snowpaw portrayed no such emotion, lapping gently at her tail with her tongue. Icepaw supposed she should groom herself, but Nightrose had already thoroughly done it before they left in the dark ThunderClan camp. She halfheartedly licked her shoulder. Forestpaw was sitting nearby, on the other side of Snowpaw - as far away from Icepaw as possible. They had not spoken since their fight, although Snowpaw tried her best to make peace between them. Icepaw glanced at Snowpaw's glowing long white fur, and felt a twinge of jealousy. It was well known Snowpaw was the best looking apprentice in the den - after all, the only other options were Icepaw and Forestpaw. Who would choose Icepaw over Snowpaw? Who would choose Icepaw's prickly demeanor over Snowpaw's sweet and gentle one? Icepaw blinked in surprise. _Why am I thinking like this? _she asked herself. _I'm just an apprentice, and Snowpaw is my **sister!** _Icepaw shook herself out of her jealous thoughts. Then she felt a surge of excitement. Lavenderstar was leaping up onto the Great Rock!  
>"Sweetstar, would you like to start?" Lavenderstar asked courteously to the leader of RiverClan. Sweetstar nodded. "RiverClan has had much prey this moon, and one of our apprentices has become a warrior."<br>Sweetstar went on for quite some while about RiverClan thriving, while Icepaw looked at the Great Rock in disappointment. She had thought it would be more interesting than this! Snowpaw yawned in boredom next to Icepaw. Icepaw couldn't help but agree with her. Finally, Sweetstar let the leader of WindClan - Pebblestar - speak. Pebblestar reported a fox that they had driven into ThunderClan territory. Lavenderstar stepped up in front of Pebblestar on the gray rock immediately. She stood for a moment with all four oaks behind her. "Thank you, Pebblestar," she said drily. "A fox is just what we need. I'll tell the patrols to keep a look out for it," she said.  
>"ThunderClan has three new apprentices, Forestpaw, Snowpaw, and Icepaw." she announced proudly. Icepaw gulped as everyone turned to stare at her for a moment. Then all gazes returned to Lavenderstar. For a moment, Icepaw felt a strange feeling as all the Clans looked up to the Clan Leaders on the high rock. What was it? She combed through her mind, searching for the feeling. Was it jealousy? Then the cold feeling of want gripped her again.<p>

The feeling she felt was ambition. Icepaw shuddered at it as Lavenderstar went on. "Apart from that, ThunderClan has very little to report. Our Clan has been thriving, and there is plenty of prey," she finished. As soon as the gray she-cat stepped back, Petalstar of ShadowClan stepped forward. Her amber eyes flashed. "ShadowClan has three new apprentices, Silverpaw, Moonpaw, and Snakepaw."  
>Icepaw looked at the crowd. Moonpaw looked around coolly while Silverpaw looked around proudly, head held high. <em>I didn't do that well when Lavenderstar mentioned me, <em>Icepaw thought regretfully. The third cat mentioned, Snakepaw, was nowhere to be seen. Finally, Nightrose stiffened as she saw the third apprentice. He was sitting near them, glancing nervously around. Icepaw mewed a soft friendly greeting. He jumped, then just nodded. Nightrose gently nudged Icepaw away from the ShadowClan cat. _What's wrong with saying hello?_ Icepaw wondered. _I know he's a cat from another Clan, but that doesn't mean that I can't say hello, does it? _  
>Now Petalstar continued in a dark voice. "Our medicine cat, Sleetflash, has been exiled." her words rang like a bell through the clearing.<br>"Why?" Some cat cried out.  
>"That is ShadowClan business, but she tried to turn us against one of our warriors." Petalstar said, her words cautious.<br>Snowpaw frowned and murmured to Icepaw, "That doesn't seem like a good reason to exile someone!"  
>Icepaw nodded. "There's more to the story," she mewed softly into Snowpaw's ear.<br>Snowpaw sat back. "I never thought of that. Maybe it's just ShadowClan cats, you know, being all hostile even to their own Clanmates."  
>Icepaw shook her head. "I don't think they're like that-" she began.<br>A ShadowClan cat rose up from a patch of grassy ground in front of the tall rock where Petalstar stood, amber eyes flicking around. "Petalstar!" the mysterious warrior called out.  
>Nightrose stiffened next to Icepaw. Icepaw wondered why but didn't ask. This was exciting, a warrior speaking at a gathering.<br>"You have been lied to! And it was not by Sleetflash." The warrior seemed reluctant to say whatever he had been going to say, but bravely and proudly continued. "Sleetflash was innocent, at least of lying about me." Maskface's amber eyes raked the clearing until they found Nightrose. "I have broken the warrior code, it is true. I fell in love with _Nightrose of ThunderClan_, and she bore my kits! I will stay silent no longer, I will not live a lie anymore! I am not ashamed of what I did. For if the warrior code ends love so, I see no reason why it is the code of warriors! I will take the consequences of my actions, Petalstar." Maskface ended.

For one moment, every cat was silent. Icepaw heard Snowpaw ask Nightrose, "What's he talking about, Mamma? Shadefrost is our father, not him!" Yet Snowpaw's voice was muffled in Icepaw's ears. It felt as if she was caught in the middle of a snow storm, and no one and wind was streaming past her ears, making everything sound far away, and look far away in the snow. Somehow, it all made sense. Somehow, she had always known it was true. Before she could confront Nightrose with lying, however, a furious yowl broke out from near Maskface. It was Owlsong, his second mate. "You lied! I loved you Maskface, did you know that? You lied to me, you lied to Petalstar, you lied to everyone!" she choked on her rage. "You are a worthless, selfish, pig! You lied, then you couldn't live with it, so you ruined it for everyone else. You're a spineless coward, Maskface! I will never love you again!" she swore. She leapt on top on Maskface's tabby pelt and started clawing at him. He laid limply beneath her as she tore at him, blood pouring onto the ground beneath the two. Petalstar leapt down from the Great Rock, with anger blazing in her eyes. She shoved Owlsong away, and looked up at the other Clan Leaders. "This is _ShadowClan _business, and _ShadowClan_ will deal with it." she hissed at them. Then she looked down coldly at Maskface. "The damage is done, Maskface, the damage is done. When we return, you will search for Sleetflash and bring her back. After that, your punishment will be decided. If you don't find her, don't come back. Search until you are no longer capable of searching. This gathering is closed," she declared.

Icepaw sat still for a moment, then leapt up to Nightrose. "You lied!" she choked out, blue eyes blazing. Snowpaw was leaning against Forestpaw, eyes far away.  
>"You betrayed me!" she sobbed. "You don't deserve <em>anything!<em> But because you have what you don't deserve, you're safe. You're safe! You turned your back, so you're safe! Now I'm the unpredictable one. Now everyone will blame me for what you did!"  
>Nightrose said, "No, Icepaw, they won't, everyone knows it was me and not you!"<br>"Don't lie to me!" Icepaw flashed back at her. "You think I'm so unpredictable? You think I'm _the wild one _in the den? You think I'm going freak out because of this? You think I'm going to hate you because you told me a lie? I will hate you, and I do hate you! I'll hate you _forever! _Do you understand what you've done? You've destroyed everything! Everyone looks at me, thinking, _look it's Icepaw, she's such a weirdo! Look, there she is. Poor her. Her mother betrayed her! Look, Icepaw's done everything wrong again! Icepaw's attacked a Clan mate! She's so evil. _That's what they think when they look at me. Now they'll think I'll betray them in battle. You think I'm so unpredictable? Maybe I am! I don't want any part in your **stupid **Clan anymore. I'll give you unpredictable, Nightrose! _Live with what you got!" _

_I stalked away from her, leaving my sister behind me. Leaving my Clan. Leaving my mother. I never said goodbye to my sister._

_I am on my own, forever._

_I was always on my own._

**Whewh, that took an hour! In response to reviews:  
>Tabbycat47: I know! Honestly, I really hate Maskface. He's so darn annoying, and this chapter just made me hate him more.<br>Moonblaze13: Yayz, a new reviewer! I'm trying to put their feelings more into what they say, so I hope it will work better in the future.  
>Hawkpath of RiverClan: Thank you!<br>Amber342:**** Thank you! I hoped that chapter would be better. Hopefully this chapter will be up to the same standard. O.o Wow, a lot happened in this chapter. Anyways, thank you all for reviewing!  
>Until Next Time,<strong>

_~Iceshadow  
><em>


	9. Chapter 8, Flashing Sleet

Chapter 8, Flashing Sleet

Icepaw rushed through the underbrush, desperate to get away from the gathering. Once she was a safe distance away, she sat down, panting. She turned her head up to the stars, but not even their beautiful glittering could calm her mind from its frantic racing. Her blue eyes darted around, as if expecting someone to come rushing after her. Finally, she closed her eyes, and began to lick her white fur. She numbly realized that she had scratches on her.

She sagged to the ground, and tried to think. She needed to sort things out. _S__o __S__hadefrost isn't my father, _she thought. _Nightrose lied to me to make me think he was, so she could keep her secret one more day! Why can't I just be like other people? Why does my life have to be so hard? _She steeled herself. _Come on, girl. This is no time to break down, _she told herself. _Maskface is my father. My parents broke the warrior code. That's the basics. If I accept those, I can work on the next step to maybe having a normal life again._  
>After a while, Icepaw finally thought she had accepted the circumstances enough to start on step two. She sighed in relief, then abruptly stopped when she realized what step two must be. <em>S<em>_tep two is what to do next! _She thought. She then went back to trying to accept the circumstances some more, as she thought she hadn't accepted them enough the first time.

The moon began to rise, slowly, lighting the ground around Icepaw. She had drifted off to sleep. The change in lighting awakened her, and she blinked her eyes open. She sat up, and looked at the night sky. So clear. It was so beautiful. She sighed. Her life wasn't simple anymore. Why couldn't it be simple? Why had her parents had to lie? She looked at the ground, and felt anger suddenly clench in her stomach. _They betrayed me, _she thought angrily. _They destroyed my life. _But what could she do? There was no one to talk to, no Nightrose to angrily confront. Her anger cooled, and she wished it hadn't. It was easier to be angry and alone than to be just alone. She looked back in the direction of the Gathering that she had ran away from. It was harder to see the way she had come now. She began to pick her way back through the underbrush. She would demand to know the reasons, and then she would figure out what to do next.

Icepaw let out a tiny wail. She was lost. Utterly, utterly, lost. She had bruised her paw, fallen down a steep slope, and was now caught in a bramble thicket, with thorns pricking her tail. She struggled, which only made it worse. Then a stinging nettle stung her nose she lashed out at it, cutting it off at the stem. A thorn cut her paw. She let out a scream of frustration. She became silent as it echoed back at her. Two thoughts came to mind. One was that she hadn't meant to shout that loud. The other was that there was no where in her territory that had an echo like that, apart from the gorge. She peered around the moonlit forest of rocks and trees. It didn't look like anywhere near the gorge. Finally, she came to the conclusion that she had wandered the wrong way from where she _had_ been.

A startled mew came from near the bramble thicket. "Is someone there?" The cat sounded wary.

Icepaw immediately became quiet. It could be a cat able to help her, or it could be a hostile cat from another Clan or a hostile rogue.

"I know you're there," the cat stepped closer.

Icepaw let out a squeak and shrunk back. A pair of dark blue eyes stared at her. "Why, you're just a kit!"

"I'm an apprentice!" Icepaw squealed indignantly back.

The blue orbs blinked. "I'm sorry, it's very dark. Why, you are bigger than a kit. I'm sorry," the luminous eyes said.

It occurred to Icepaw. If that cat called her a kit, and knew what an apprentice was...

It was a Clan cat.

The same thought had occurred to the cat on the outside of the bramble bush. At the same time, it couldn't leave an apprentice trapped in a bramble bush. "Would you like me to get you out of there?" she asked hesitantly.

"I can get myself out!" Icepaw said warily.

The stranger stepped back, and the blue eyes faded. "Very well." The cat form started to walk away.

Icepaw screeched, "Wait a minute! Maybe I could use a little help."

The cat came back, and Icepaw could swear its whiskers twitched. "Alright, then." The cat used a dark gray paw to push back some brambles so Icepaw could get out. She squeezed under the brambles, and looked the cat up and down. "Thank you," she mewed gratefully. "Who are you?" she added curiously.

The cat looked down at the leaf sprinkled earth, then looked back at Icepaw. Their dark blue eyes linked. "I am Sleetflash, the ShadowClan medicine cat," she mewed.

**The in response to reviews will be in the next chapter.  
><strong>


	10. Chapter 9, The Choice

Chapter 9, The Choice

Icepaw stared in shock at the cat that had known about her parents' betrayal. "You?"

Sleetflash grimaced wryly. "I take it you heard about me at the gathering."

Icepaw nodded, swallowing. "You told the truth," she mewed slowly.

Sleetflash tipped her head to one side. "What?"

"Maskface confessed," Icepaw told her hoarsely.

Sleetflash's mind raced. Maskface had confessed that he loved Nightrose, and broke the warrior code. Something caught her notice about the young apprentice standing in front of her. Something about her looked familiar. StarClan above, she had Maskface's looks! But... it couldn't be... Maskface's ThunderClan daughter? She closed her eyes. "Are you... Nightrose's daughter?"

The apprentice looked up at her vehemently. It was strange to see a look so powerful on such a young face. "Yes. I'm Icepaw."

_Icepaw. Icepaw. _The name rang through Sleetflash's mind like a bell. It seemed to spread to all corners of her mind until she could think of nothing else. That name had a prophecy belonging to it. _The shadow on ice. Ice. Icepaw. _Another thought controlled her mind now. This cat would do something terrible when she grew up. _The forest will be frozen, and will tremble for the coming of the shadow on ice. _Sleetflash had a sudden vision of her own paw slashing across the young angry apprentice's throat. She pushed the vision away, revolted. "Then... you're Maskface's daughter too."

"Yes. Icepaw. You can call me HalfClan." Icepaw's temper was boiling at the slow mind of this cat.

Sleetflash's patience was also growing thin. "Look, your parents made a terrible, terrible mistake."

"Duh," Icepaw mewed.

Sleetflash found herself hissing in annoyance at this cat's attitude - but also slightly amused. She continued. "They broke the warrior code, they lied, and that must feel awful."

Icepaw said, "I don't care what they feel!" Then wished she hadn't, it sounded heartless.

"I didn't mean that it must feel awful to them. I meant it must feel awful for you, as after all I'm sure they were thinking about you the entire time. I'm sure that the entire warrior code was engineered just for you, just so that your parents wouldn't make the mistake of breaking it. I'm sure everything they did was just to mess up your life. I'm sure they hate you with all their hearts, that's why they told the truth." Sleetflash looked hard at the apprentice. "Sometimes it's not all about you, Icepaw. You need to learn that if you are going to live in this world."

Icepaw swallowed. The medicine cat had a point.

"And you're much too young to know everything. What one cat said in one night - even if that cat is your father - you can't let that influence your entire life. Maskface wouldn't have told you how he felt about it, just what he did. That's just how he is. But you don't have to be like him, if you don't want."

Icepaw looked up at the medicine cat, her blue eyes twinkling with some emotion Sleetflash couldn't read.

Sleetflash asked, "Do you want to return to ThunderClan, to patch your life with your new understanding of your parents mistake?"

Icepaw looked at her paws, then returned her eyes to Sleetflash's gray face. "I guess you think a lot of your own advice," she said quietly.

Sleetflash sighed, and looked at the starry sky, with dark green trees on the edge of her vision. "Look, Icepaw. If you follow my advice, then maybe you can make a new life in ThunderClan. I don't know if what I'm telling you is right or not, I'll confess to that. But if you don't want to patch your old life in ThunderClan, you can start a new one."

Icepaw looked warily up at the medicine cat, but her eyes betrayed her curiosity.

"You are half ShadowClan, Icepaw." Sleetflash began. "You could go to ShadowClan. You would be accepted there."

Icepaw's heart leapt, then sank. A new life was more than she could ever hope for. Yet... she didn't want to be anywhere near Maskface. She remembered that Maskface had been sent to look for Sleetflash, to bring her back. Maybe Sleetflash could come back with her, and Maskface would never know! Maskface would be stuck looking, forever. Her heart began to pound faster. Could she really betray her own father like that? A tiny voice in the back of her head said, _He deserves it. Leave him looking forever. _She shook it away. She hadn't even decided to come to ShadowClan yet. What about her sister? What about... wait. She didn't have any friends in ThunderClan. The only other thing keeping her there would be Wolfsong, her mentor. Wolfsong was always nice. Icepaw remembered her first training session.

_Sunlight dappled the mottled ground as Icepaw bounded through the warm air. She scuffed her paw in the sandy dirt, waiting for her mentor to appear. Her tail wormed its way under the sand, feeling the warmth. She heard a twig snapping from behind her. She spun around, confused. Her mentor was coming from camp. The Sandy Hollow had a steep side with roots coming down on that side, that she heard apprentices tried to climb. Snowpaw and Forestpaw had gone off to try the second day they were made apprentices. Icepaw shook off the feeling of jealousy, and wondered if she could climb it on her own. Her eyes traveled up to the green mossy top. She had about two tail lengths before the trees began, and they were thin and scarce. But before she could start up the slope, a gray shape hurtled at her from a holly bush to her left. Icepaw gasped as Wolfsong landed on top of her, and began to pummel her stomach with sheathed claws. Icepaw wriggled away. "Stop!" she pleaded. "What are you doing?"  
>Wolfsong cocked her head to one side. "Testing your reflexes. Now, come at me."<br>Icepaw asked, "But you haven't shown me anything!"  
>"I shouldn't need to show you how to bite, claw, and fight for your life. If you are attacked, it isn't your moves that will save you. It is your will to live."<br>_Icepaw had remembered that lesson. And she would thank Wolfsong for it the rest of her life. She sighed. "I'll go to ShadowClan."

Sleetflash nodded. "Come with me. I know the way back."

The two cats retreated up the leafy hillside, towards ShadowClan camp, with the moonlight shining off of their fur.

**In response to reviews:  
><strong>

**Tabbycat47: ...**

**Priceless Cat Lady: Wow! I'm glad you found this by mistake too! Thank you for r and ring my story! (It makes me so happy when some one new turns up) That said, someday soon I should be going back through and editing everything. So, hip hip hooray for you! hahahaha I'm weird...**

**Koraki: Well, well. I must say you were the last person I expected to get a review from, but I must apologize for my rather heated words over a review you posted on another story. Although I would have written it differently, things can sometimes come off as something different in text than in speaking face to face. But, on to responding to the actual review you posted to this story. I'm very glad you enjoyed it! I'm not sure why I dislike Maskface so much. . . . I don't know, it was the fact that he chose Owlsong as his mate without telling her, and totally betrayed Nightrose also. Plus... I just dislike him for some reason. Finally, someone that likes Sleetflash! Although I disliked her at the start of writing this, I've come to like her the more I write about her. I like Owlsong much more, and though she was a bit OOC attacking Maskface, I think she really loved him and would have been absolutely devastated when he betrayed her_. _I'm not sure Maskface will be having any happy endings... although maybe at the very very very end. Ah, the two leaders. The allegiances were made up in about 15 mins, maybe 20 so I didn't really think the characters through. Obviously I thought through the mains - wait, the main - being Icepaw/mememememememe! I actually made a mistake, which is how Maskface became her/mymymymy father. I realized there were no ShadowClan toms left and I didn't want Owlsong to be without a mate, so... Anyways. Last, but not least, Snakepaw! Well done, your eye caught the right apprentice. ****He was the other cat I thought through the most. We saw him at the gathering, but only for about one sentence. Anyways, you can be sure he will be in future chapters. I'll keep in mind your 'recap'... wait, why did I put that in quotes? Anyways, keep in mind your recap, and you can be sure I'll be updating soon - this is my main story at the moment.**

**Sunmist: Wow, you reviewed every single chapter! Sunmist, thank you thank you thank you! Zank you!**

**Drakan722: Another new person! OMG, OMG OMG! I LOVE HOLLYLEAF TOO! That said, thank you, and that said, I'm glad you enjoyed reading, and that said, I hope you continue to enjoy reading. All that said, thank you again!**

_aaaaaaaaaaaaanddddddddd..._

_Bye, folks!_

_~Iceshadow_


	11. Chapter 10, Good Luck

Chapter 10, Good Luck

Icepaw hung back as Sleetflash padded through the row of pine trees that was the entrance to ShadowClan territory. Just as she was about to enter ShadowClan territory, Sleetflash looked back through the tunnel of trees. "Icepaw, are you coming?" she called through the sunlit woods.

Icepaw gulped, and nodded. She padded through the pine trees, marveling at how they could be so light yet so dark at the same time. Below her paws red pine needles bent as she padded lightly over them. The whole forest floor was so much neater than all the undergrowth in ThunderClan. There was very little underbrush because the pine trees shaded it all out. There were no thorn bushes to snag on her fur or bury thorns in her paws. The sun felt warmer here than in ThunderClan. In every direction she could see pine trees growing in straight rows. That was the only part that didn't feel right "Sleetflash," she began hesitantly. "Why are all the trees in straight rows?"

The gray tortoiseshell shook her head. "I think it has something to do with twolegs," she tried to explain.

"Will they come back?" Icepaw asked with her head tipped to one side.

Sleetflash shook her head. "These very trees have been here since the Clans were created, little one. I think the twolegs would have come back by now."

Icepaw nodded and continued through the sunlit forest beside Sleetflash. She was startled by the croaking of a frog nearby. "Why are there frogs here? It seems so dry."

Sleetflash gestured with her tail. "There is a swamp over there. Now come on, I know where we are and we can be back by sundown if we hurry."

Icepaw peered through the trees to look for the swamp. She didn't see it, and Sleetflash was getting ahead of her again. She hurried past the tree, but looked back to see if the frog was anywhere near. She jumped as she saw it perched on the tree trunk of a pine tree. She raced to catch up with Sleetflash. "Alright," Sleetflash mewed. "The next time you see a frog, catch it. We can't get there on empty bellies."

Icepaw hung her head in embarrassment, but then asked, "You _eat_ frogs?"

...

It was a slow day in ShadowClan camp, with the current three apprentices lolling around in the sun outside their den, the only elder sunning herself in a similair fashion, a slow stream of warriors bringing freshkill in and others eating it near their den. The sun flickered off of the ground in the pine clearing. Snakepaw scuffed his paw in the pine needles and glanced up at the glaring sun. "I didn't know it could get this hot, even in Greenleaf," he said to no one in particular. Unfortunately, Moonpaw and Silverpaw heard him.

"Well of course it can," Silverpaw said blinking her green eyes scornfully at him.

Moonpaw just grunted, then finally thought of something to say. "Think of it as a learning experience."

Silverpaw laughed. Snakepaw turned his face away. Why did they always have to be so rude? Just because their father didn't love their mother and had betrayed the Clan terribly and had been sent away didn't give them the right to be rude. But they hadn't always been like this. There had been times when they had been nice, and when the three of them had played games together. But even then there was something cold about the two of them, especially Moonpaw. She was very aggressive and Silverpaw had struck him as the gentler of the two... but now all that had changed. Moonpaw barely said anything to him and Silverpaw seemed to be subtly insulting him all of the time. "I think I'll go hunt," he mewed.

Moonpaw shrugged, but Silverpaw called out, "Ask your mentor first! Don't get in trouble, Snakepaw."

Snakepaw whirled around, ready to return a sharp rebuke, but Silverpaw had turned her silver head away and was grooming herself. Snakepaw shook himself and sat at a different end of camp. Silverpaw did have a point, even if she had just said it as an insult.

...

Moonpaw sprang up as a new scent hit her nostrils. "ThunderClan," she snarled. Silverpaw's eyes widened as she too recognized the scent. "What are they doing here?" she gasped, her pink mouth open wide.

Moonpaw shook her head after being silent for a while. "There's only one of them."

Petalstar rushed down from her den where she had been sunning herself. "Who approaches?" she called out warily. "I have warriors ready to fight here with me, if you are foe. If you are a friend, come out into the open where we can see you."

Sleetflash padded out into the pine clearing, below the bright blue sky. "I believe I am a friend, Petalstar. Unless you have changed your verdict once again," she added vehemently.

Petalstar closed her eyes. "Oh, Sleetflash. I'm so sorry. Did... Maskface find you?"

Sleetflash frowned. "Maskface?"

Petalstar looked at her. "I think we should talk."

Just then Icepaw came out from behind Sleetflash, blue eyes flickering around nervously. Sleetflash nodded to her. "This is Icepaw of ThunderClan. She is Maskface's daughter, and as she is half ShadowClan I thought she had a right to be here if she wished. It will await your verdict, of course, Petalstar."

Petalstar's eyes narrowed. Accepting Sleetflash back into the Clan was going to be difficult enough without trying to bring in a ThunderClan apprentice as well. But she was half ShadowClan. "I shall discuss it with my senior warriors after we talk, Sleetflash. Come." Petalstar leapt into the crevice in the sand colored rock where her den was.

Sleetflash stepped inside, grateful of the cool shade.

Icepaw stood alone and stranded in the middle of ShadowClan camp. Moonpaw snarled at her while Silverpaw tossed her head and walked away. Eventually everyone else looked away and Icepaw was left in the middle of the clearing standing there like an idiot. She sighed. This was not going well. She scanned the clearing and found one pair of eyes still on her. A green eyes brown tabby tom was watching her from a shaded part of the clearing. She hesitantly began to pad over to him. He stood up as she approached.

"Hi. I'm Icepaw," she started lamely. "So who're you?" she winced as she realized how stupid and kitlike that sounded.

Luckily, he didn't seem to think it was, because he responded. "I'm Snakepaw."

"Um..." she struggled to think of something to say. "So, do you like living in ShadowClan?" she asked.

Snakepaw shifted his gaze away, realizing he couldn't tell the white she-cat the truth. "Yes. It's... great." He finished insincerely.

Icepaw nodded. "What do you think Petalstar will decide?" she asked nervously.

The brown tabby tom with gray splotched looked relieved. "She's fair, don't worry. If she doesn't want you to stay it's either for your own good or for ShadowClan's, maybe both. Whatever her verdict is, I'm sure you'll be happy with it."

Icepaw muttered, "You might be surprised."

Snakepaw had heard what she had said, however. "You don't want to go back to ThunderClan, then?"

She opened her mouth, about to say something. "It's just... complicated.

He nodded, not questioning her further. "Well, if you do decide to stay, good luck." He padded away towards the fresh kill pile.

Icepaw smiled. He had wished her good luck. "Good luck," she whispered after the brown tabby tom.

***smiles profusely while the line 'Good Luck' repeats in her head* That said... well, what else is there to say? I think I did good on that chapter, but I'm not the judge of that, you are. In case you were wondering, when I have this: ... in the story it means scene change, or it is later in the story. I like using the little * signs, but they don't show up... how odd. If anyone can think of a better way to do it that shows up, please let me know, I'm all ears. And a weird little hint... If you have an instrument nearby... It helps if you play the string of notes FGC for this chapter, I think. I know, it's really weird and random.  
>In response to reviews:<br>Koraki: Sleetflash; I'm glad that someone likes her! I suppose if one reads her personality from the allegiances she just looks evil, but anyways. One thing I'm sorry to say is that we may not be seeing much of her in the next couple of chapters! But, I suppose with my wonky style of writing on this story anything could happen. Icepaw; hahahahaha yay! Ahem, excuse that. Icepaw is me so I am rather sensitive about that, but I could totally see your point of view, she is way to young to be reacting the way she did. Wolfsong; I think we'll definitely see more of her, but possibly later. I am planning this story to have many many chapters before it finally ends, which I have no idea how it will, by the way. Maskface; hm, I really can't say yet about his ending, you see. He may either have a happy ending or die terribly and painfully! Hm, that tempts me... but I'll wait until some truly brilliant twist occurs to me... Wait... one just did... okay... storing that away somewhere. Anyways. Snakepaw; I think you can see from this chapter that he will be important! As for love interest... well, I could tell you, but that would spoil it! In a couple of chapters all should become evident. I'm running out of time, so that's it for today, and thanks as always for reviewing. :)  
>Drakan722: yayz! Wow, that was a really lame reply, but I'm really glad you enjoy it! :]<br>Priceless Cat Lady: Did I tell you that I love your pen name? I read that chapter, by the way. I'll fix the wolfsong/owlsong mistake later, and thanks!  
><strong>


	12. Chapter 11, Following To Death

Chapter 11, Following to Death

Icepaw padded around the camp nervously. Petalstar was deciding her punishment. She hoped the leader would let her stay - everything about being here seemed so right. She loved the way her paws slid on top of the pine needles. She loved the way that the light bounced off of the needles still on the trees and dappled the ground. The camp was vast compared to ThunderClan's camp. It sloped downhill with many ledges that cats lazed around on or shared kill on or some of the kits tried to jump on. Petalstar leapt up onto the High Ledge. The High Ledge was a just the highest ledge around. It overlooked the entire camp. Petalstar's den was some way away from the rest of the camp. Unlike the rest of the area, which if you brushed the pine needles away you would find dirt littered with gray rocks, the rock under her den was sandy. She had brushed the pine needles away and the apprentices brought moss in. Icepaw eyed the den critically. She didn't like it. The ledge that it was set into wasn't like all the other ledges. She pushed those irrelevant thoughts out of her mind and followed Petalstar's every moment as she padded leisurely over to the High Ledge.

"Let all cats old enough to catch their own prey gather here beneath the High Ledge for a Clan meeting!" Petalstar called as her amber eyes swept the clearing.

Once all the cats had gathered, she continued. "Sleetflash, our medicine cat, has come back. She shall be accepted back into our Clan without question, of course, if she wishes to take her place back, that is."

Sleetflash nodded gratefully and padded to stand near Briarrush. Briarrush's green eyes flicked to her for a moment, then she nodded briskly and looked back to Petalstar. Petalstar continued. "Maskface did not find her. I have decided to send search parties out for him. Once they have found him his punishment shall be decided," she said, but a roar of protest rose up against her.

"But he's a traitor!" Someone called out. "He should be made to live as a rogue!" another said loudly. Owlsong's head remained bent while Moonpaw and Silverpaw hissed - although it wasn't clear if they were hissing at Petalstar or at those protesting against taking him back.

"He _shall_ be brought back, and he _shall_ be punished. That should be enough for you all. Now, to the other matter at hand. Icepaw of ThunderClan wishes to come and join our Clan." she paused for a moment until her clear gaze found Icepaw. "Is this correct, that you want to join us?" she asked slowly.

Icepaw gulped and thought about all the things she was leaving behind. She was leaving her family behind. Well, her sister and her mother, anyway. Her mother had betrayed her. Her sister was all that she had left in ThunderClan. The thought of her mentor, Wolfsong, crept into her mind. Yet also with the thought of leaving her mentor behind came the thought that Wolfsong would understand. _"Always do what your heart thinks is right." _One of Wolfsong's lessons crept into her mind. But a tiny shaking thought came to focus. _What if my heart is wrong? _A calming memory washed over her.

_It was night time. The sky was the colour of light blue velvet, and the air was warm. Wolfsong and Icepaw were coming home after a late training session. "Wolfsong, have you ever made the wrong decision about something?" Icepaw asked._

_Wolfsong looked at her. "Often, little one. Sometimes I pick up a squirrel from the freshkill pile when I meant to pick up a pigeon. I've fetched the wrong herb for the medicine cat. Little mistakes like this don't matter very much."_

_Icepaw nodded, but then asked, blue eyes curious, "But have you ever made a big mistake? Something that you still regret today?"_

_Wolfsong thought hard for a moment. "My father is long dead, and I feel like I didn't spend enough time with him."_

_"How did he die?" the white she-cat asked._

_Wolfsong lightly tapped her with her tail tip. "I'll tell you, and I won't take offence because you're young, but you don't generally ask people questions like that. The question might bring up painful memories. But I will tell you how he died, because I am your mentor and I am supposed to teach you. Once my father was a senior warrior, he began to get tired of the monotony of Clan life. He wanted something new and exciting. He decided to go exploring one day, and he met a rogue. It is probably a good place to tell you that my mother was killed around three moons before this by a RiverClan warrior in a border skirmish. When my father came back to the camp, he told everyone stories about the female rogue until finally one day he told Lavenderstar he wanted to leave. He had fallen in love with the rogue. Lavenderstar was sad for him yet if this could make him happy then she told him to go. They were siblings, so it was a hard choice for both of them. But my father left. We discovered his body some moons later. But he died happy, and free. A smile was frozen on his face. He followed his heart, and it lead him to death. But at least his death was a happy death."_

_Icepaw nodded. "I hope I'll have the courage to do something like that someday," she mewed._

"It is my wish to join you," Icepaw mewed. _I will follow my heart, even if my heart is wrong, and even if it leads me to my death._

Snakepaw noted the white she-cat's legs shaking from the other side of the clearing. _She's very brave, _he thought admiringly. _She can follow her heart. _

_Where is she following her heart to? _he asked himself, puzzled.

**In response to reviews:**

**Koraki: Glad you like them! I personally don't have a preference - I find them BOTH annoying, even though I wrote them both. XD Snakepaw should definitely be a major figure in this plotline, so we should see more of him. I WAS implying that it was a forestry estate, but anyway! I'm glad you like it, though.**

**Brightstorm: It's ok about repeating the review! I'm really glad you like it and I'll see what I can do about the POV thing and the page break thing. Thanks a bunch for reviewing!**

**The Priceless Cat Lady: I'm so glad you like this story! Well, obviously, everything that you are interested in should be evident- yikes, gotta go!**

**~Iceshadow**


	13. Chapter 12, Proving

Chapter 12, Proving

Icepaw looked at Snakepaw's amber eyes as Petalstar announced, "Then Icepaw, from this moment forward you shall be known as a member of ShadowClan!" her words rang around the pine clearing as Icepaw turned her gaze back to Petalstar. She felt like this was the most important thing she had ever done. _I'm changing the course of my life! _She realized with a start. _And I think it's the right thing to do. _She let herself bask in the dappled sunlight and the warmth of Petalstar's announcement. "Your mentor will be Fishshadow."

The black tom nodded and stepped forward. They touched noses. It was after they parted that the protests started. "But she's half ThunderClan!" one cat called out.

Silverpaw rose to her paws. Icepaw felt relieved - the silver shecat would surely side with her kin against the others. "She is halfShadowClan," she began. "But she is also half ThunderClan! Will we allow traitors in our ranks?" she snarled. "All she knows is will betray us, mark my words!"

Petalstar stepped forward on the ledge, looking down at the furious sounded calm. "If all she knows is ThunderClan, then she must be taught the ways ofShadowClan. Her decision and my decision stands."

Silverpaw stepped back and sat down sourly. But not all the cats were quite so keen to give up. Fishshadow, although he didn't speak, looked as if he was about to protest. A brown she-cat stood up, looking nervously up at her leader. "I won't disobey your orders, Petalstar. ButSilverpaw has a valid point - having torn loyalties is a concern. Imagine if in a battle with Thunderclan she could not fight her friends and family. I would not wish killing on any cat, especially not the killing of is young, and I doubt she realizes how hard it will be for her." The brown shecat looked at the ground and sat back down.

A frown reached Petalstar's face. Her amber eyes looked down at the speaker. "You are right, Mudsplash. But the times with ThunderClan are peacefull, and the Clans should not war between themselves. The different Clans will always be separate, but that does not mean that we should constantly be fighting. If we have a member of our Clan that is part ThunderClan, it will give us not to war with another Clan. And warriors do not kill to win battles - that is our way." The white shecat looked around with her amber eyes. The cats below her were silent for a moment, until Moonpaw stepped up. Petalstar suppressed a sigh. "Yes, Moonpaw?" Petalstar asked, regarding the shecat with some odd sense of amusement.

"I think Mudsplash and Silverpaw are right. She doesn't belong here. She will always belong in ThunderClan, with the smell of oaks. Not in the dark, pine woods. Only true ShadowClan cats can live here." Moonpaw mewed, yellow eyes meeting Petalstar's amber ones.

"I have made up my mind, Moonpaw. The code declares that the Clan Leader's word is law." Petalstar was about to jump off the High Ledge and end the meeting, but Moonpaw had something else to say. "I know the code, Petalstar. But I propose a challenge. If she can think like us, then she belongs here. Her heart is ShadowClan."

Petalstar looked warily at the apprentice. It was a good idea... but would Icepaw fail? "What was your idea for a contest?" she prompted.

"Two contests," Moonpaw said without realizing it. "If she can figure out which dens are which in the camp will test if she can think like us. I think if she could find her way around in this woodland would be a good test - in the dark." Moonpaw added, eyes gleaming.

Suddenly the clearing seemed much darker to Icepaw. What if she failed?

"Let the contest begin!" Petalstar declared. "The night is falling. If you can find your way back to camp from the farthest edge of our territory, you will have passed the first test. Hollyfire, Silverpaw, Owlsong, and Sleetflash will accompany her."

Sleetflash nodded, while the tan shecat Icepaw assumed to be Owlsong tarried, then padded over to the entrance of the camp. A black shecat joined her, holding her head proudly in the air. Silverpaw and Sleetflash also came to the entrance. Icepaw started, and raced over to them - kicking up pine needles as she went. She winced but didn't say anything as they left the camp.

*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.

The pine forest was dark and foreboding. The company of five seemed to tread noiselessly through the shadowy trees, but Icepaw could hear every noise she made like thunder rolling. Her breath seemed ragged although she tried not to think about how frightened she was. _If I fail, will Petalstar back me up? _she wondered, heart drumming in her chest. Her paw scuffed a root. She hopped on, trying not to let the others notice.

Finally, the other four stopped. "This is the farthest edge of our territory," Fishshadow told her informatively.

Icepaw nodded, gulping. She should have paid more attention to the trees. Looked for landmarks. Noted how far she had gotten from camp. She shook her head slightly, telling herself _It's too late now, mousebrain! You have to follow up on it. Stop being such a coward. _"I'm ready," she mewed.

The others nodded and began to dissipate like shadows amongst the pines, all going different directions so she couldn't follow. A vague thoguht of following their scent trails came to her mind, but something held her back. _I'll prove it the right way, _she told herself.

All alone, in the dark forest, a strange confidence came to her. _I _will_ prove myself. _

A twig snapped. Was she really alone in the forest?

**Hi I've got something to say which I would appreciate if you read... I've noticed that a lot of people read, but don't review. Well I don't like that! It's just common courtesy to review for every chapter or story you read, and it's something everyone should get in the habit of doing it. I'm trying to promote people reviewing stories - polls, forum topics, author notes, you know the sort of thing. There are several people that have reviewed this story more than twice, but then haven't come back! Are you still reading, ****S****nowstarX, ****S****nowstar of BlizzardClan, ****S****unmist, Amber342, Mintfrost29 and others? Post a review and let me know! It would take people about 30 seconds to write a short review. 60 minutes for a longer one. Maybe five minutes to write a professional review... so why don't people? If you're reading this and agree, promote the idea of reviewing. ****S****hare your opinion in author notes, forum posts and topics, reviews, polls asking people if they review - spread the word! Make a better place by reviewing after you read, make authors on it happy with your feedback! Make their stories better by suggesting improvements. In my mind, it's the right thing to do. Not that I've reviewed every story I've read - but now I definitely make an effort to do it. Do the same! **

**In response to reviews:**

**Violetsong: Glad you like it! Just curious, are you a new reader? I'm always puzzled when you're a couple of chapters into a story and someone new shows up... anyways, hope you enjoy!**

**Miryam Lea: I'm happy you like it, but only ****S****nakepaw was happy, the rest of the Clan hasn't reacted yet. (Well, they have now, but hadn't in Chapter 11)**

**Koraki: I agree - wait, Petalstar says she is very proud of her decision. ****S****he isn't very humble, is she? Anyways, I agree with you... wait, since I wrote that I'm not being very humble either, am I? Anyways, I'm glad you enjoyed it - I actually used a place near my house for ****S****hadowClan camp so it was really easy to describe. I hope you feel better soon... **

**Drakan722: Indeed, I have ****S****nakepaw planned out to be an important character!**


	14. Chapter 13, After All

Chapter 13, After All

Icepaw spun around, heart pounding. The loud pulse in her ears made it so she couldn't hear anything. The forest was dark and the gloom prevented her from seeing anything. She squinted. Had it been nothing? Her heartbeat gradually began to slow and she let out a heavy sigh. _What was I thinking?_ She asked herself shakily. _I'll never fit in here if I jump at every slight noise._ She gave one last glance in the direction of the snapped twig and began to pad away, her paws dragging slightly. For a moment, she fought to suppress the giggle that came to her mind. _What are you giggling at, mousebrain? _She asked herself. _The forest floor looks red here,_ she answered in her mind. She had never thought the floor beneath her paws could be red. It brought an odd thrill to her mind. Suddeny the gloom didn't seem so bad. _I _will_ find my way back to camp. _

Suddenly, a voice resounded from behind her. "Icepaw," it said.

She spun around once again, blue eyes flashing with alarm. "Wha-" she began, then saw who it was. "Snakepaw!" she had first met the tabby tom in theShadowClan camp, when she had arrived there.

"I followed you," he mewed nervously, staring at his gray paws.

"I gathered," she said drily.

He glanced up. "Well, think you can find your way back in the dark?"

She snorted. "Isn't that the whole purpose of this test?"

He looked like the conversations wasn't going the way he had hoped. He sighed, and said, "Would you like my help?"

"Do you need my help?" he asked cautiously, swallowing. It really was very dark outside of the camp.

The conversation was going in circles. "Look, Snakepaw. We can stay here gabbing all night, or I can get back to camp on my own, or I can be devoured by some badger, or you can help me. The first one really isn't an option. What is it going to be?" she realized her words were sharp but couldn't help herself from saying them. The darkness wasn't going to get less as the night wore on, and she wasn't going to get any less hungry, unless she caught something in this seemingly forlorn forest.

"Do you want me to help you, though?" he asked, still nervous.

She sighed. "What do you mean?"

"Well, if I help you they might find out. Also you won't be confident of yourself as a ShadowClan cat," he mewed, looking at his paws again.

She considered, staring into his amber eyes. "Alright," she conceded. "I'll find the way back myself." She began to pad away with her white tail low, when she looked back. "I wouldn't object to some company though..." she let her sentence trail away.

He nodded briskly and set after her. Some small part of her wanted to smile inside.

*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*

The dark forest seemed to press around the apprentices as they padded beneath the branches. An owl hooted above them, staring at the moon that could not give light to the two below because of the thick canopy above them. Although the moon had risen, the forest seemed just as dark as ever to Icepaw. Upon looking around, however, she realized this wasn't could see moonlight across the forest floor, but in small oddly shaped patterns, like tiny licks of flame on the carpet of pine needles.

Snakepaw realized he hadn't been out of camp this late before. Moonpaw and Silverpaw sometimes went out - he had heard from the senior warriors that they caused trouble - but he never had after sunset. It had an eerie beauty to it, although his heart was pounding. He hoped Icepaw, who was leading them back to camp, knew where she was going. He realized that he didn't actually know the way back, so it was a good thing she hadn't accepted his offer of help.

The white shecat paused to sniff a space between two pine trees. "I think I smell something odd here," she reported back without turning her head.

He padded forward next to her, and sniffed also. He cocked his head. "That does smell weird," he said. "You know, I've never smelled that before."

This made more of an impression than he had intended. Her spine stiffened. Her fur began to stand on end. Her blue eyes scanned the dark forest, which was impossible to see far in. Suddenly, something clicked in her mind. A word surfaced. The word was, _fox. _She jumped at the revelation. The description of fox scent Wolfsong had told her about fit the smell perfectly. "Get back!" she mewed louder than she had intended. "It's a fox," she said in lower tones. "And it's fresh,"Snakepaw added a moment later. "Let's go," he mewed, scooting away into the darkest part of the trees.

Icepaw wished he hadn't gone where no moonlight shone, but ran after him swallowed as she looked around the place he had taken him. Unlike the rest of the forest, the trees here were not planted in rows. They had grown to make a grove, and all the branches overlapped so she couldn't see outside of the shivered. It was cold and she was frightened. The effect of the grove was rather similar to when she had looked the opposite direction that a row of pine trees. She shook herself. "Why are we here?" she asked cautiously.

"If the fox comes any way but the way we came in, it won't be able to get at us and we'll have a good warning that it is coming this way. We can dash out the open side of the grove to safety." He whispered loudly, so she could hear him.

"But if the fox comes in the open side of the grove, it'll trap us," she protested, frowning.

"We'll just have to hope that it doesn't," he said a bit uncomfortably.

She looked at him. His amber eyes were trained on the dark entrance to the grove. "We have to get out of this grove. Getting a warning from the fox won't help much if the other option is getting trapped." Upon seeing him look even more uncomfortable, she added, "It was a good idea, and could work in daylight. But I'm not used to the way this forest smells yet, so all I can smell is pines, honestly. I was lucky picking up the fox scent. What I _can_ do is run, and we need to get back to camp as soon as we can. Besides, I'm making the decisions," she ended playfully.

"Okay," he mewed. Then he added seriously, "As long as your decisions don't lead to my death."

*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.**.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*

Icepaw had made her way back to ShadowClan camp by the time the sun was rising. Icepaw let out a heavy breath of relief as she saw the familiar form of Sleetflash hurrying over to greet her. "You got back safely!" the gray medicine cat said, blue eyes deep pools of relief.

"Yes," Icepaw said wasn't sure whether she could tell Sleetflash about Snakepaw or not. She was saved by talking about him by his appearance. Once they were within distance of camp, they had split up and he had snuck into the apprentices den. Silverpaw was tagging after him. "Why weren't you in the den this morning?" she asked. She hadn't even noticed Icepaw.

"I snuck out early for some prey, I told you." He said. He wondered why he felt amused by her questioning. As he looked at Icepaw, he suddenly had a flash of why. She made everything seem more funny and less threatening.

"Let all cats old enough to catch their own prey gather here beneath the High Ledge for a Clan meeting!" Petalstar yowled upon seeing Icepaw return. "She has passed the first test," the white shecat continued, eyes surveying the Clan beneath her. "And now must pass the second. If she passes the second, she will become a full member of this Clan. If she fails, I will decide her fate."

Icepaw shuddered.

"She will need someone to verify if she guessed all of the dens correctly," Petalstar hesitated. She needed someone she could trust to not lie, and couldn't get involved herself because they would think she was showing too much of an interest in Icepaw. "Snakepaw?" she asked hesitantly.

The brown and gray tom stepped forward, and bent his head. "I will see to the test," he said.

As they went to the far side of camp, she turned to him. "So," she began. "Which den should we start with?"

"Nice try," he scoffed. "Not like I'm going to name them for you."

She made a face. "Darn it."

"Come on, slowpoke! You won't guess them by standing there making faces." He sped off in the direction of Petalstar's den, making a face at her.

She growled and sped after him. He'd have to pay for calling her a slowpoke. As he skidded to a halt and looked back at her, her whiskers twitched. Maybe living **in ShadowClan** wouldn't be so strange and alien after all, when she had a friend there.

**Wow! I think that's my longest chapter so far. (I know, not much happened. There may be a lot of chapters like this in sight, before I get to twists in the plot and soforth.) Replying to reviews:**

**Miryam Lea: I'm glad you like it (Sorry about the last chapter, I have a limit on my time so often split things up into smaller chapters than I would like). I think it's fairly safe to say she will, otherwise I think my plot developing skills might need some work!**

**Koraki: Obviously she did, and while I'm not giving out spoilers she will probably pass the next test as well. Hahahaha, I'm glad you like it! (Somehow my quickest allegiance job made my best warrior names... weird, eh?) I think most of the ShadowClan warriors will play minor parts in the story, so we should get more on her soon. Yep I luvers her! Petalstar is awesome, if you don't mind me saying so. (I haven't quite got the whole 'humble' thing down yet, so please excuse me) I dislike them both, although I hope they will develop into more likeable people. (Hope; sometimes my mind takes control and writes whole chapters I don't even know about. Just kidding.) I hate reading cliffies but love writing them! Weird!**

**monkeyCsaw: Thanks for reviewing! I love both Snakepaw and Sleetflash, and dislike Silverpaw and Moonpaw, so we have a lot in common there! Hm... just out of curiosity, can you point a few of the errors out to me? (Sometimes I'll have to go and edit this up a lot, but I seem to never want to do it or never have the time) Anyways, hope you enjoy future chapters and this one!**


	15. Chapter 14, Accepted

Chapter 14, Accepted

Icepaw stared at Petalstar's den. "I know that's Petalstar's den." she mewed confidently.

Snakepaw nodded. "You brought moss to her in her den. That's how you know, isn't it?" he asked, amber eyes glinting accusingly.

"Yes," she said, eyes shifting to the side.

He sighed. "Come on, which den is this?" he bounded over a trunk of a slender moss-covered tree and stood in front of a bush. She forced herself to run over to him. "This bush?" she asked in surprise. It didn't look like anything much, without much cover from the rain and no moss in it.

"No," he sighed in disappointment. He wriggled under a low branch and she followed, belly scraping the rocky soil painfully. She quietly wondered how the cats got in and out, the opening was so low. She looked up, only to see Snakepaw still in front of her, scrambling up a steep incline of rock. She followed him on top of it, silently glad she didn't have her sister's long fluffy fur. It would only get dirty and caught on things on this heap of rock. She gasped as she saw the perfect place for a den. "It's perfect!" she echoed her thoughts. A rhododendron bush was sheltering a dip, it's spindly branches stretching out above her. "But what about in the winter, when all the leaves fall off?" she asked, suddenly puzzled. The shrub was just starting to get it's leaves back, and she knew they would grow to a huge size, but they were still small.

Snakepaw shrugged. "What would you do?"

She sighed. He was deliberately making this harder for her. "Well... I would move dens!" she said with sudden inspiration.

He nodded in satisfaction. "Good! What den do you think this is, in Greenleaf?"

She looked around. It was near the entrance to camp, which made it seem like the warriors den. But it would be hard to get out of in a hurry, and the warriors were needed alert and ready at all times. Icepaw looked around for herbs. There were none, which meant it wasn't the medicine cat den. She finally sighed. "Well... it's not the medicine cat den." Grasping at straws, she said, "And it isn't the warriors den." She looked at him, her heart pounding. Had she gotten it wrong?

His amber eyes showed nothing except expectation as he looked back at her. "So which den do you think it is?"

She thought hard for a moment, closing her blue eyes. She knew the apprentice's den was somewhere lower down the hill from where they were, from seeing Snakepaw coming from it. It might be the elders den... or the nursery! The elders wouldn't want to move dens, and the kits would welcome the change of scenery! It was near the entrance, but not easily accesable. "The nursery!" she gasped.

He broke into a broad grin. "You've got it! That's the nursery."

"Do I have to say where they move to?" Icepaw asked nervously.

He looked down, unsure. "Well..." he began.

"It's ok, I'll do it." she assured him when she saw she had put him on the spot. She looked across the camp, and upon chance saw the entrance to a den. "It's over there!" she mewed. She cringed inside as she had said it instinctively, without thinking about it. But she wasn't going to gain anything by showing uncertainty. She bounded over the the entrance that she had saw. It was through a tunnel of ferns, and a pine tree sat to the right of the entrance. The bracken was brown, but she could see thorns woven into the ferns. "This is the nursery in Leafbare," she said without much confidence. She wondered what her chances of getting it right were. It looked warm with natural moss growing across the floor.

He nodded. "This is the Leafbare nursery. The kits born in Greenleaf are almost as impatient to move in here as into the apprentice's den! Well, or so Sweetsnow says."

"Sweetsnow?" Icepaw asked.

He cast an involuntary glance downhill. He looked back quickly and said, "She's our only elder."

"Oh." Icepaw said. What if the elder's den was downhill?

Snakepaw shook himself, and looked around the camp. "You already know where Petalstar's den is... you found both nurseries... Ah!" he bounded off towards the Greenleaf nursery again. "Where would you put a lookout?" he asked expectantly.

"Well, this is the entrance to camp," she said gesturing to a pathway seemingly cut through two mounds of earth. It was overgrown but everyone could easily pick their way through, if you didn't slip on the ivy leaves. "I'd put a lookout on the mound." She looked into his amber eyes, but was confident of the outcome. This was a test she could do without much guess work.

He nodded. "Good." He took her down the hill past the High Ledge, until they came to a huge oak tree. It was one of the few in camp. Looking closely, she could see hollows filled with moss in it's huge brown roots. "The apprentice's den?" she asked. She could see small claw marks on a huge fallen branch shaped like an hammer.

Snakepaw dipped his head. "Right again!"

"I saw you coming up from this direction," she confessed.

His tail twitched. "Fair enough. This one won't puzzle you at all, though." He leapt away, ears pricked and eyes playful as he looked back. "Come on!" he called.

She obeyed and entered the den. It was long and narrow, with a shelf to one side where moss grew. Some cat had been using it as a nest. The soothing aroma of herbs alerted her immediately that it was the medicine cat den. Sleetflash's scent also lingered. Dead leaves covered the floor. "Medicine cat den," she mewed with confidence.

"Yes! Come on, only two more dens left to go now." He left her with leaves flying up beside her in the medicine cat den. She growled with annoyance and sped after him. He was sitting near an oddly shaped stout tree with a ginger and white shecat laying on some moss. Her blue eyes twinkled as she saw Icepaw. "There aren't any queens, and only three apprentices. Where's she come from?" she asked, not unkindly.

"She's joining us," Snakepaw said shortly. "But she has to figure out which dens are which before she can join us."

"She's probably already guessed which den this is without me telling her. But anyway, what do you think?" she asked.

"Elder's den," Icepaw asserted. This must be Sweetsnow.

The elder nodded. "Take her to the other dens and tell me all about it later."

The next place Snakepaw took her was next to the nursery, a medium-sized den with a side passage that looked like it went to the entrance to camp. She thought for a moment. The warriors den was the only one she hadn't done. "It's the warriors den," she mewed.

"Well done! One last thing." He bounded away again down the hill. She sighed and raced after him, a few brown oak leaves from the few oaks in the camp flying up as she skidded away. She slid to a stop in an open clearing with a less-used looking den off to the side. "Do you know where this is?" he asked kindly.

She looked around. But she had done all the dens! Then she noticed the small claw marks on the stunted tree off to the right. She also realized there were scuff marks on the ground. "Is this where the apprentices train?" She asked innocently.

"You have it right! And what do you think the den off to the side would be used for?" he coaxed.

She frowned at him and mewed grumpily, "Is it where the warriors watch the apprentices from?"

He said, "It's a multi-purpose den - that's one of the reasons. It's also where cats go if there is no other den to sleep in - if one of the dens need to be repaired, if the medicine cats run out of den in their den - the medicine cats store things here sometimes too." He looked down, then back at her, amber eyes glowing. "You passed the test," he whispered at her. It was only a tiny sound, such a quiet whisper; but she heard it like a shout in her ears. Icepaw's heart began to beat as she stared into his eyes. Her blue eyes refused to blink as they looked at each other for a moment that was both too long, and too short. _You passed the test,_ she heard again in her mind. His voice echoed again and again. _You passed the test. You passed the test. You passed the test._ The moment ended abruptly as Petalstar's voice rang out from above them, near the apprentices den. "How did she do, Snakepaw?" she asked.

"She passed the test," he said, tearing his gaze away from her.

She also moved her head away from his, to look at Petalstar. Her head seemed to move too slowly, as if encased in syrup.

Petalstar nodded briskly, and beckoned with her tail as her white form bounded away towards the high ledge. "Cats of ShadowClan!" she began in a commanding tone. "Icepaw has passed her test, and she _shall_ be made a member of our Clan. Come forward, Icepaw."

Icepaw obeyed, gazing up at the leader of the Clan she had come to join. "Icepaw, your mentor shall be Fishshadow. And from this moment forward until you receive your warrior name, you shall be known as Icepaw of ShadowClan!"

**Whewh! 702 words! I've got a question! When I do in response to reviews, do you think I'm being too impersonal not replying to each review individually? I just wondered... The hopefully not too impersonal i****n response to reviews:**

**Koraki: I'm glad you like him - I like him too! I would have been annoyed at myself if I had done it - that doesn't make very much sense, does it? Oh wow, I've just noticed that too! Gosh, how weird! Thanks for pointing it out I'll try to be more careful in the future... Wow, I wonder why it does that...**

**Miryam Lea: Oh my gosh, I didn't mean to sound greedy for compliments! I'd just like to know if people are still reading or not and was curious as they seemed to disappear! I wasn't talking at all about you, and I'm really grateful that you always review! Thank you! I just don't get sometimes why if people read, they don't review... Anyways, thank you!**

**MyrtleFalls: Hi! I'm soooo glad you like it and can't thank you enough for reviewing! Hahahaha, I read part of Moonstar-kiwi's 'Reverse Psychology' one about Kestrelpaw - it was really good. (I'll have to finish reading sometime soon...) Anyway, I'm really glad you like it!**

**Drakan722: Hahahaha, thanks!**

**Sunmist: THANK YOU SUNNYMIST!**

**Moonfang16: Great to see you here! (That sounded weird, ignore it.) I'm so glad you like it it's my #1 priority and as I can see by looking at the number of reviews, I guess it paid off! Thanks a lot, Moonfang16.**

**-In response to reviews for Chapter 13-**

**Drakan722: Well, the Erins are the ones that decide how they act in the series, but I always think that because they like to act fierce they get blamed for everything - plus I get ShadowClan most the time when I take the 'What is your warrior Clan' quiz on the website. Note: Some people say ShadowClan cats are goths. I personally disagree with this sentiment unless they're purely joking. I don't think of goths as being fierce, but no offence to goths! **

**Iceshadow**

**~Iceshadow**


	16. Chapter 15, Belonging

**I'm back!**

Chapter 15, Belonging

Icepaw sat against the comforting bark of the willow. Looking out on RiverClan territory, there was a sheltered stream that wound between the two territories. Not a lot of cats went there, but Icepaw loved sitting against the rough, patterned willow tree with a few rare golden rays of sun streaming onto her white fur. The river below her looked like many snakes weaving, and weaving together - if there were different colored snakes. The sun beat down on the stream, causing the rippled effect of sunlight weaving it's way through water. "I love it here," she mewed gently.

Snakepaw was sitting next to her, on a patch of fairly dry earth with a few sprigs of grass between his two front paws. "It's very beautiful," he said.

She looked over at him, expecting to see him looking down at the river like she loved to do. But he wasn't - he was sitting, looking at her. She jumped as their eyes instantly made contact. After a moment, he looked down slowly at the river. Icepaw swallowed, and realized her heart was racing as she too looked back at the patterns on the water. "I... I s'pose we should probably go back."

He nodded slowly as she rested her blue eyes on him. But neither moved, apart from Snakepaw's tail dipping it's way into the water and creating a miniature wall of water on either side of it, and the shuffling of Icepaw's paws.

A butterfly buzzed past them, drawing both their gaze up as the black and orange spotted creature fluttered away on the wind. Icepaw briefly paused to consider the brief lifespan of the butterfly. _It lives such a short time, and it's so beautiful. Why does something so beautiful live for only such a short time? _She shook herself awake from her ponderings and prodded Snakepaw, who jerked his head up, amber eyes wide.

"Sorry," she whispered. "I didn't mean to frighten you... We should go back to camp."

He briskly nodded, and got up. As they walked through the pine forest, she briefly missed the light, airy feel of the ThunderClan woods where it was easy for light to penetrate through the leafy canopy of the trees above. She shook her head and remembered how much she loved the pine woods of ShadowClan. _This is where I belong,_ she told herself firmly. _How do you know?_ was the next thought that came to her mind. _You left there when you were barely apprenticed. How much of life there did you really find out about? _She squeezed her eyes shut tightly and pushed the thoughts away.

Fishshadow stepped out of one of the rows of pine trees. "There you are!" he scolded her. "We've been waiting around for you for a long time." Silverpaw, Hollyfire, Moonpaw, Briarrush, and Mudsplash also stepped out of the trees behind him.

"Sorry!" she said instinctively.

"Oh, just come on. We'll train over here today." he said pointing with his tail off to her right.

She called cheerfully, "Bye!" to Snakepaw, who was training with Silverpaw and Hollyfire. Briarrush and Moonpaw followed them to the clearing where she and Snakepaw had hid from the fox. "First," Fishshadow mewed, "I want to assess your fighting skills. You'll be a bit behind from missing training, but you're going to have to catch up."

Icepaw nodded determinedly. This was a logical, well meaning mentor she could deal with.

"Attack Moonpaw," he mewed as he stepped behind her off to the side. Briarrush did the same for Moonpaw, leaving the two apprentices in the half enclosed grove where on one side pine trees grew thickly, throwing a carpet of brown, dead needles to the floor.

Moonpaw rushed for her, and soon Icepaw was under her, Moonpaw on the top, with her yellow eyes glaring down at Icepaw. "Hey!" she mewed. "I wasn't ready!"

She twisted her head as Fishshadow stepped out from behind her. "Your opponent won't wait until you're ready," he told her kindly.

"Yeah," Moonpaw hissed as Fishshadow stepped back again. "This is ShadowClan, Icepaw of WimpClan. Get used to it, and maybe Petalstar won't call you Icewimp." She pushed herself back from Moonpaw, seething. _Ooh, you're going to pay for that,_ she vowed to herself. This time when Moonpaw was rushing for her, she feigned a dodge to the left, skidding slightly on the pine needles.

Moonpaw turned, about ready to swat her on the head, and Icepaw turned again. Moonpaw growled, and followed. This time Icepaw rolled onto the floor, promising herself she would shake the pine needles off before they met Silverpaw and Snakepaw again, and twisted around. Her gaze sparkled with the fun of the game.

Moonpaw's yellow eyes widened as she began to collapse backward. She had reared up onto her hind legs to swat Icepaw, and now it was working against her. As she fell backward to the fores floor, Icepaw leaped up and pounced on her chest. She didn't stop to look at her mentor's warm words of approval, but sat staring intently at Moonpaw. As Briarrush and Fishshadow turned to leave, calling for the apprentices to follow, Icepaw leaned closer to Moonpaw's face.

"Get used to it, Moonypaw." she taunted. Moonpaw bared her teeth and hissed. Icepaw continued, blue eyes intense. "If you say anything like that _ever, ever_ again, you are going to pay." She briefly extended her claws above Moonpaw's throat. "These claws don't have to be sheathed," she said, sheathing them again. "You are my fellow Clanmate, like it or not." Icepaw began walking after her mentor, towards her camp. She added without looking back, "Because I _am_ part of ShadowClan."

She walked into the dappled light that was cast through the pine trees - _her trees._

**PLEASE READ MY NOTE! Sorry I've been gone so long, everyone! Please answer my question on the last chapter - is using the 'In Response to Reviews' too impersonal? **

**Well, hopefully not to impersonally, in response to reviews:**

**Snowstar of BlizzardClan: Thank you!**

**Koraki: I'm glad you like it! I did review maybe, two, I think, of your fanfictions... which one did you mean?**

**Miryam Lea: :D**

**TalonfootandRipplestream4EVER: Thank you! (Well, obviously here the update is...) Yeah, anyway, thanks!**

**~Iceshadow~**


	17. Chapter 16, Come Back

**~Note: Sooner than ever before since she put her stories on a rotation, Iceshadow updates the next chapter of Shadow on Ice! PLEASE READ MY AUTHORS NOTE AT THE END! ~Iceshadow**

Chapter 16, Come Back

"Are you sure about this?" Forestpaw whispered to Snowpaw, amber eyes curious and concerned.

"I'm sure," she whispered back, blue gaze fixed in front of her in determination.

"Then I'm with you." he gently pressed his shorter fur against her long, fluffy pelt.

After what seemed an eternity, she looked back at him. "Thanks." she didn't know what else to say.

He nodded and looked back ahead. The two apprentices were cramped in a thorny bush, gazing out across the border out of ThunderClan territory. The earliest birds began to wake under the gray sky, but all was quiet. It was time for the sun to rise, but neither Snowpaw or Forestpaw could see it through the thick canopy of clouds. There was a maple tree of to the side, all it's leaves turning golden and beginning to fall. The gray sky was speckled with tiny round red leaves to the two apprentices, for there were strange twoleg bushes that had grown from seeds here, which has odd red leaves. It looked... pretty, Snowpaw supposed. Finally she heaved herself up, wincing at the prickling in her back, and said, "Let's go. Nightrose will be waiting."

They made their way to the right, under a lowhanging branch draped with dark green ivy, to a darker part of the forest where tall nettles and ancient trees blocked out the small amount of light that radiated from the gray sky. "Nightrose?" Snowpaw whispered tentatively, feeling as much unease as Forestpaw in this seemingly deserted place. Her whisper sounded harsh in the crisp air, not sounding to her ears at all like a word, but a hiss. The fur on her back began to prickle. Something didn't feel right, but she tried to brush it away from her mind like a cobweb. But like a spider's web, it stuck there, the remnants seeming even worse than the whole silver web.

A rustling came from the other side of the tree, and Nightrose's black form began to emerge from the nettles. Her paws brushed the dark ivy, and her green eyes scanned around until she saw Snowpaw and Forestpaw. "You came," she purred, relaxing.

"Of course we came!" Snowpaw raced to her mother, her paw whacking a hidden branch as she went. She ignored the pain and touched noses with Nightrose. She tried to pay no attention to the worried thought in her mind; _What if _you_ hadn't come?_ Finally she pushed away from her mother's comforting touch. "So, what are we going to do?"

Nightrose's eyes grew cold. "We're going to get my daughter back, no matter what it takes."

*,*,*,*,*,*,*,*,*,*,*,*,*,*,*,*,*,*,*,*,*,*,*,*,*,*,*,*,*,*,*,*,*,*,*,*,*,*,*,*,*,*,*,*,*,*,*,*,*,*,*,*,*,*,*,*,*,*,*,*,*,*,*,*,*,*,*,*,*,*,*,*,*,*,*,*,*,*,*,*,*,*,*,*,*,*,*,*,*,*,*,*,*,*,*,*,*,*,*,*,*,*,*,*,*

Icepaw was sitting with Snakepaw by her favorite spot, the willow tree by the stream. She loved the secluded feel, like nothing bad could get her here. It wasn't quite so sunny as the last time she had been here, but she still loved it; even when the skies were gray, seeming to prophesy rain. Neither of them felt like talking at the moment - something about this spot just made one stop and admire the beauty of life.

A rustling made Icepaw look behind her from the tranquillity of her favorite spot. The stream, now looking gray from the sky above, trickled sweetly behind her while she scanned the trees behind her. Snakepaw's amber eyes followed her as she turned around. "What is it?" he asked softly.

"I don't know." For some reason, Icepaw felt like she was in danger. Her hackles began to raise, as did her alarm. "Look, maybe we should come back another time." she said to Snakepaw.

"Do you think we're in danger?" he asked, his voice suddenly dropping in volume as he realized they might be being watched.

"Yes, I do." she began to get up, but it was too late.

Three cats had arrived at the river bank. Forestpaw's eyes regarded her from the back of the group. Nightrose sat down slowly, wrapping her tail around her paws. "Icepaw," she whispered softly, green eyes begging her to say something as she stood frozen on the bank.

Snowpaw saw her sister and immediately ran forward without thinking. "Icepaw, please come home!" she said, blue eyes leaking a little. "I miss you!" her frantic pleading did nothing to ease Icepaw's shock.

Forestpaw stayed where he was while Nightrose stepped forward. "Please," she whispered. "Come home." Although her plea came first, her last words were a command. There was a silent threat Icepaw couldn't understand in her mother's eyes.

"Come back," she whispered again.

**~Note: PLEASE RESPOND TO THIS! Do you think that using the 'in response to reviews' is too impersonal? Would you like it if I responded to each of you individually? I'm just kind of curious what you think. Also, I have edited the PROLOGUE and the PROPHECY somewhat, so that might be good to just reread if you feel like it. ~**

**In response to reviews:**

**Miryam Lea: Thanks! *Asks innocently* Who said anything about couple? *Laughs***

**Drakan722: Was that a response to my question? If so, thanks! Thanks again, and count my response to the second bit of your sentiment as 'hm...' in an ominous way.**


	18. Chapter 17, Worth Everything

**Sorry about the long wait! It may be a bit before the next chapter as well, because I am trying to edit my stories.**

Chapter 17, Worth Everything

Icepaw's paws trudged on the hard ground. It was the morning after Nightrose had asked her to return. She had asked for until sunhigh. But what could she possibly decide, when she didn't even know what she wanted?

Her fur was fluffed out. It was freezing, and the sky was gray. She was walking along the ThunderClan border, even though she knew she shouldn't be. She was in between ShadowClan and ThunderClan. Icepaw thought, _This is just where I started. _She was angry at Nightrose for making her face this decision. She had been perfectly happy in ShadowClan before Nightrose, Snowpaw and Forestpaw had come. They had shattered her peace.

The night before had frozen all of the water. The most lively streams burbled under a thin covering of ice, while most were simply frozen for all practical purposes. As a result, the grass was stiff with frozen dew and almost hurt her delicate paws to walk on. She dimly wondered if Nightrose might see her here, and press her for an answer sooner than she wanted to give one.

Icepaw refused to sit down. It would only make her colder. In fact, there was nowhere without frost to sit down. She contented herself with pacing along the hard, frozen ground. In the fog of her mind she tried to decide what it was she wanted. She wanted to wail that it wasn't fair and that she could never decide; but she knew she had to. It should have been instinctual, happiness over unhappiness. But perhaps what Icepaw did not realize was that both made her happy, but both made her sad as well. They were both part of her, and she had to choose between them. Her very soul fought against the separation, wanting to keep her pacing along the border for the rest of her life. She thought ruefully that at least she would never have to choose between the two that way.

But she had to choose. Finally her resolution not to sit down melted away, unlike the unyielding frost, and she crunched down on the grass. She shivered involuntarily. Then she began to make her impossible decision. She loved ThunderClan. It was where she was born, it was where she had had her apprentice ceremony. It was where her roots were. But if ThunderClan was all that was in her heart, why had she ever left? She knew why. The dark pine trees, the soft floor of needles, the lack of scratchy undergrowth, the freeness of living in ShadowClan was irresistible. It drew her from afar, from the oak woods of ThunderClan. It had drawn her to this moment. She would not be in the agony of indecision if she had not been drawn away in the first place, she realized. Was it all her own fault, then? She thought not. Icepaw loved ShadowClan, and she knew she loved it. It was part of her; she stopped. This would get her nowhere. If she loved both, then how could she possibly decide? Pros and cons? She pushed the idea away with a snort. That was a ridiculous way to decide her life. What was it that her heart truly wanted? The warmth of ThunderClan, or the freedom of ShadowClan?

A rustling in the bushes took her attention away from her own brooding thoughts. Her blue eyes instinctively moved towards the sound, and her heart began to beat a little faster; then she saw who it was. She calmed back down, and a purr rose in her throat. She knew the familiar fluffed out gray coat and the sparkling amber eyes. "Wolfsong!" she purred.

Wolfsong padded forward, and gently touched noses with her. "You have a tough decision, don't you?"

Icepaw pulled away for a moment, eyes glittering with suspicion. "How do you know?"

Wolfsong also sat down on the frozen stems of grass. "Two reasons."

"Go on."

"First, I know you. I know that indecisive look in your eyes. I know when you're thinking hard about something, but you can't come to a conclusion." Wolfsong paused, amber eyes full of concern. "Also, they told me what was going on. They thought as your mentor I had a right to know what they had done."

"Do you agree with them? Do you think I should come back?" Icepaw asked anxiously. For some reason, she cared much more about Wolfsong's opinion than Nightrose's. In the instant she realized it, she knew why. Wolfsong had never lied to her, never betrayed her. She trusted Wolfsong absolutely.

She blinked slowly. "You're not going to like my answer. It's whatever your heart pulls you toward the most. I know that isn't an answer, because I know that you can't decide right now. You probably just want me to tell you, pick ShadowClan, or pick ThunderClan. I can't do that. You have to make your choice, and live with your choice. But Icepaw, remember this. You have to live with your choices, that's what you have to do until the day you die. But if you're not happy, then you can change it. The warrior code says the word of your Clan Leader is law, but you have the right to choose your Clan leader. Only choosing will make you certain. If you pick wrong, then you _have_ to go back and do it right, no matter what the cost is. Because you're not living if you're not happy. That's all I can tell you."

Icepaw shut her eyes as Wolfsong trudged away. She wanted to say something to Wolfsong, but she didn't know what.

*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.

The sun shone on the hard ground, making all the droplets of frozen dew shine like a diamond. It was an hour before sunhigh when Nightrose, Snowpaw and Forestpaw pushed their way through the branches of the holly tree. Icepaw sat on the ground, waiting for them.

"Icepaw, please come back." Snowpaw implored.

Nightrose silenced her with a quick twitch of her straight black tail. "Will you give us your decision now?" she asked. Her green eyes were unreadable.

Icepaw was silent for a moment, blue eyes contemplating the three before her.

_Decide, Icepaw._ Snowpaw thought. _Come back to us. We're your family. _Her heart throbbed in the terrible wait that meant so much to her. The air felt unbearably cold in her lungs as she waited.

"I will come back to ThunderClan at dawn tomorrow." Icepaw finally answered.

Before Snowpaw could rush over to her and tell her how pleased she was and how happy she was to have her back and how much fun they would have together, Icepaw had left. The air swooshed where she had been as a lump rose in Snowpaw's throat.

Nightrose's green eyes showed nothing.

*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.

After spending most of the day near the willow tree and the stream, she came back to ShadowClan camp. Sleetflash's den was the first place she headed.

"Sleetflash," she whispered into the cold night air.

"What is it?" her dark gray head poked out of the den where she had been sorting herbs. The smell of watermint wafted in the air.

"I'm leaving. My sister and my mother came yesterday. I have to see if I can be happy there, to make them happy. Don't hate me." There was so, so much more to say, but it seemed as if there was no time.

Her blue eyes blinked. "I don't hate you, Icepaw."

"Then it's goodbye."

"It's never goodbye. I will see you again, Icepaw. It's never the end, and it's never goodbye. We will always see each other again." Her dark form looked sleek in the moonlight.

"I'm glad. Thank you for bringing me here." She swung her white head toward the ground. Then she looked up again. "I know you're right. Someday, we will meet again."

Petalstar was kind and accepting, but Icepaw could tell she wished that Icepaw had figured this out sooner. "ShadowClan will miss a warrior like you," she had said. Her mentor had simply blinked, and nodded.

Next came the one goodbye she could not face. The big oak with a fallen branch that looked like an anvil loomed in the darkness before her. In one of it's moss filled hollows, Snakepaw was sleeping.

"Goodbye, my friend." Her words seemed to weave their way through the air, and into his dreams. He twitched a little in his sleep. She knew that her words would linger there, and in the morning they would crash through his mind once again. There was nothing for it. She had given her verdict to Nightrose. She had to go back to ThunderClan.

Her throat felt raw from the goodbye she had said in the apprentices den. Nothing would ever be the same again.

"ThunderClan, you'd better be worth it," she muttered. After a moment she added, "You'd better be worth everything."

**In response to reviews:**

**Miryam Lea: Thank you for your concern for... me, um, well, Icepaw... *Sighs* Anyway, thanks...**

**Someone without a pen name - no, seriously, you didn't have a pen name: Okay, thank you. Hm, good point. I think he's just there to support Snowpaw, personally. I didn't really think about that, but I think it's just because of Snowpaw; in my mind at least.**

**MyrtleFalls: Heh, sorry about that. You might get a feeling as to what is going to happen, but I am not giving out spoilers. Feel free to guess around though, I'm curious if you guessed what is going to happen. Okay, thanks for reading! It means a lot.**

**Horse8910: Thank you!**

**DIGITAL RANDOMNESS: WOW! Okay! I'm really glad you liked it, I didn't even think it was that good... but thanks an infinite amount for making me see it in a new light!\**

~**Iceshadow of ShadowClan/...?~**


	19. Chapter 18, Coming Home

**Come back everyone, the story isn't over yet!**

Chapter 18, Coming Home

"Icepaw!" Snowpaw leapt up off the grass. Her eyes glittered like the melted dew beneath her, flashing bright rays of sun back at Icepaw.

"What, you thought I wouldn't come?" Icepaw tried to sound insulted; but in her heart she knew how close the decision had been.

She blinked her light blue eyes. "I didn't know what to think."

There was silence. Icepaw had the inexplicable feeling that something was wrong, and she couldn't stop it. It made her want to cry out in pain. "Come on," she said hoarsely. "Let's go..."

"Home," Snowpaw said anxiously. "It's home."

She nodded, but her blue eyes stayed on the melted dew flashing the bright sun everywhere. _It was whole once; in the cold freedom of ice, and it has been melted._

*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*. *.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*. *.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*. *.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*. *.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*. *.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*. *.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.

Two days had passed, and the green woods of ThunderClan were barren. The oaks stood firmly despite the loss of their leaves in the cold wind. The beeches stood gently mourning the leaves that fluttered down when a gale swept them down. The rowan berries gleamed, along with the holly and rosehips.

It was in this forest filled with clean snow, flourishing evergreens, and red winter berries, that Icepaw lightly stepped through. Since the two days that had passed, it had snowed. The snow was only an inch thick, but it covered everything. A few leaves floated off the frozen snow as a gust of wind blew through the trees. "Where are you, my home?" she whispered to the cold breeze. She wanted ShadowClan's thick pine woods, it's comforting dappled light; she wanted its freedom.

A low growl rose in her throat, and the envy and jealousy of loss came back to her in a rush. She _envied_ Moonpaw and Silverpaw who could simply act any way they wanted. Somehow, everyone expected her to be better. Everyone expected her to be the good kit who stayed with her family against her will. Why? Moonpaw and Silverpaw were the meanest cats she had ever met, but they were happy and life was good for them. _Am I just too self involved? What if I just want to be the sort of cat that wouldn't want to live in ThunderClan?_ She shook her head slowly. She had been born into a difficult and unusual situation, she had not made her life one.

Suddenly, the icy wind picked up and Icepaw let out a tiny shriek as it almost lifted her off her feet. As her white front paws thumped to the snowcovered grass again, she let out a meow of satisfaction. Before, the wind had been terrifying as it threatened to lift her up and sweep her away in it's freezing arms; now it was exhilarating.

Like the noise of a pine needle falling to the ground, it hit her. It was tiny, almost undistinguishable from the rest of the time, but it had come swiftly and without warning.

ShadowClan was where she felt at home, where she felt free. _Is that really true?_ she asked herself. What if she had simply been so young when she had left ThunderClan that she didn't know how to fit in there. What if she could be truly happy in ThunderClan?

A splinter of resistance shot through here. It was painful, like a claw mark. She wanted ShadowClan, the dark cats living in the way they wanted to without fear of being stopped or bent to others' will. She _wanted _it. She loved the way ShadowClan acted; especially because they weren't all like Moonpaw and Silverpaw.

_Goodbye, my friend._ The words she had spoken to Snakepaw now echoed through her mind. She wanted to wail. What if she had destroyed everything?

Icepaw of ThunderClan, Icepaw of ShadowClan, Icepaw of Nothing; she realized what she had known all along.

She was going home; and that home always had been ShadowClan.

*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*. *.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*. *.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*. *.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*. *.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*. *.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*

She put her paw across the ShadowClan border, the wild freedom of the moonlight whispering and weaving into her eyes. They glowed softly with the excitement of one who is entranced; the excitement of one who is becoming free. As her white paw settled into the red pine needles on the other side of the border, she felt a surge of satisfaction. She was where she was meant to be. In one moment, she was elated. She knew that no matter what Moonpaw and Silverpaw, even Snakepaw, Petalstar, Fishshadow, Nightrose, Snowpaw, Lavenderstar; no matter what anyone thought or wanted, she was going home.

For one moment, she was carefree and yet powerful at the same time. Only for a moment. Just one moment.

Then the long road in front of her settled in, and she was the same old Icepaw. She was afraid, defensive, prickly, sarcastic, and what she had always been; torn.

There was a long road; but she would travel it. She was going home.

**Okay people, please come back. She's going back, so pretty soon we'll have some more of the typical ShadowClan coolness. Even if you aren't fans of ShadowClan, I think I've got a pretty good plot planned out, so please read it! I thank you for all reviews, and apologize for my infrequent updates. THIS STORY WILL NOT END FOR A LLLOOONNNGGG TIME!**

**~Iceshadow of ShadowClan~**


	20. Chapter 19, Dawn

Chapter 19, Dawn

The dawn rose gray and unwelcoming over the forest. The birds were quiet, and the wind rustled through the oaks. A few forlorn, left over, leaves drifted onto the snow from clear patches.

In this quiet and sorrowful forest, a lone figure stood in the sandy hollow. It paced back and forth, and occasionally stopped to look toward the forest. The steep bank on the side seemed like the edge of a cliff, if viewed from afar. Moss and roots tenderly poked into the open air, as if surprised to find no soil there. By the agitated movements, the pacing, and the twitching of it's ears, a bystander could have told that the figure was waiting for someone. The movements of the forest around seemed hampered by the dreary morning, as if the forest was also waiting.

If one had looked more closely, one would have been surprised by the figure which lay waiting in the training hollow. The short white fur unexpectedly did not blend in with the snowy surroundings. The snow was covered by leaves, and there were frequent clear patches where the soil, moss, or rock showed through. The blue eyes were harsh for the soft fur and the elegant paws. The youth of the cat pacing back and forth might also have been surprising, for it did not reflect the movements of the figure. It would have been expected for a cat of that age to sit and fidget, perhaps try and catch some prey; but not pace.

Finally, Icepaw's long wait was rewarded by the appearance of the one she wished to see. A long gray tail, a lean figure, and dancing amber eyes approached swiftly. It's greeting was long in coming and quiet. "Icepaw." It was like a whisper.

Icepaw looked away from the amber eyes. "Snowpaw?" she asked quietly.

"She's coming. She'll be running as soon as she hears." Wolfsong said slowly.

It was silent for a moment and then she spoke again. "Oh Icepaw."

She wanted to lay down and stay still. She wanted to sit on the border forever, and not have to choose. Why couldn't she be happy in ThunderClan? "I'm sorry," she murmured.

"Don't ever be sorry. Don't ever look back. Don't ever miss me, because you know what?" Wolfsong's voice was breaking.

Icepaw's gaze was like lightning. There were no words for what she was dreading. There were no words for the bond that might break.

"I'll always be with you." For a minute Wolfsong just stared at the young cat who had come into her life and changed it. Icepaw had changed her life from an ambition, a thirst, a hunger; she had changed it from a want into something she could not describe.

It was time to let the bird fly. She would not keep it in a cage, chained by love.

"I love you Wolfsong." Icepaw said, pressing against her mentor's side.

"I love you too Icepaw. I'll always be with you." Her voice broke, finally.

"Promise?"

"Promise." she managed to say.

"Then I'll be waiting." Icepaw said sorrowfully.

"What'll you be waiting for, dear one?" Wolfsong asked.

"I'll be waiting for the chance to make you proud."

"I am, darling, I am. I've always been proud of you. Since the first minute I saw you." It was the truth; all of what she had said was the truth. _I'll always be there for you,_ she swore in her mind.

*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.

Snowpaw was running as soon as Forestpaw told her Wolfsong had gone to meet Icepaw. She knew what her sister was going to say. She knew everything. She had always known this moment would come, somehow. Her legs seemed to move without effort, despite the breeze and despite the hard stones her paws past over. She just had to get there in time to say goodbye. There was a desperate knot in her stomach as she glided through the perfect, gray, forest. What could she do if she didn't even get to say goodbye to her own sister? How could she live when the person she was closest to in the whole world had left and she hadn't even bid them farewell?

"Icepaw!" she yelled when she got the the clearing. Icepaw looked up from Wolfsong's side. There were no words. Her dark blue eyes said it all. _I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. _

Snowpaw stepped forward. She actually smiled a little. Then she began. "Icepaw, don't ever listen to me again. Don't ever do something so stupid as to listen to me again."

Her mouth dropped open in surprise. Slowly, she moved her paw forward and placed it firmly on the moss. Snowpaw crossed it gently with her opposite paw.

"Live well, sister. Remember me." Snowpaw said solemnly.

"I will always remember you. I will try and see you every full moon. I promise." Icepaw said.

"Go home. I will see you when the moon is full." Snowpaw looked encouragingly at her. "Be safe."

"Aw, don't be so solemn." Icepaw cuffed her over the ear.

Snowpaw meowed in laughter. "Go on."

Icepaw was running as soon as she was out of sight. The wind was fluffing out her fur, making it look long like Snowpaw's.

She was heading home.

**Sorry for the long update wait. Really. Very sorry. I'm going to focus on this and one other story from now on. So REVIEW! I actually cried when I wrote the line, _I'll be waiting for the chance to make you proud._ It was fun describing Snowpaw's desperate reaction.**

**SPOILER ALERT: The next chapter will include flashbacks in ShadowClan of what it was like for Snakepaw and the others after Icepaw left. Will they accept her back? It was hard the first time, it will be even harder now. Will Snakepaw blame her?**

**Bye!**

**~Iceshadow of ShadowClan~**


	21. Chapter 20, Missing Something

Chapter 20, Missing Something

It was gray and dull in the clearing as Snakepaw stretched and awakened from his hollow in the roots of a tree. Moonpaw and Silverpaw were playing some sort of fighting game on the other side of the tree. He was about to state that it probably hadn't been Silverpaw's idea to Icepaw, when he realized she wasn't there.

Once again, her words echoed through his mind. _Goodbye, my friend._ He refused to succumb to the flood of memories those words brought. He sat up, placing his tabby brown paws carefully on the ground to avoid slipping on the smooth pine needles.

Mudsplash greeted him. "Come on Snakepaw, let's train. Fishshadow is helping us today with your battle training. You haven't been focusing as hard lately." She meant well. She just couldn't quite tell her apprentice something comforting. She had tried to involve him in other apprentice battle training with Moonpaw and Silverpaw but it just made him more discouraged. Icepaw was the only cat who had really been able to involve him in battle training.

He almost asked her if Icepaw was coming to, but he bit his tongue hard to stop him from saying it. Of course she wouldn't be coming, because she had left.

As they padded through the pine woods, the dull light made it easy to slip away into his memories of Icepaw. He remembered her playful smile, her lovely laugh, her dark blue eyes; he remembered the day she left.

_He blinked his eyes open slowly and licked one of his paws as he looked around in a daze. Moonpaw was still asleep but Silverpaw was sitting stock still staring at the highledge. The gentle light of dawn warmed her outline as she turned back to look at him. "Snakepaw," she called as if from a great distance._

_He got up slowly, seeing his own gray and brown paws moving towards her. He blinked again. "What is it?" he asked in confusion._

_"It's Icepaw." she said simply. "She's gone."_

_Gone. Gone. Gone. The words echoed through his head as he thought through the countless implications that were swirling around almost before his amber eyes. She had left to go back to ThunderClan, he knew. Her words echoed through his mind, over and over again. First they were so quiet he almost couldn't make out what she had been saying in his distant memory. Then they boomed louder and louder until he wanted to run away from the whispered words. He felt a sensation of incredible loss as he thought of the friend he had lost. _

_She was gone._

Snakepaw was brought out of his reveries suddenly when Fishshadow prodded him. "Snakepaw," he murmured. "Silverpaw just ran all the way from camp and she wants to talk to you."

Snakepaw frowned but nodded. Silverpaw's urgent green eyes brought him back to yet another memory. The memory of the words she had said while he just sat there in shock.

_"I saw her leaving the camp. Sleetflash was staring after her so I asked Sleetflash what she was doing leaving camp early in the morning. She told me Icepaw was leaving for ThunderClan. I know I was selfish, I know I was rude and I know I didn't make it any easier for her to say but I'm sorry. I know I'm the same way to you as well and I'm sorry." Silverpaw's eyes shone for a minute in the way a friend's did when another friend was in pain. She wasn't making stupid jibes. She had continued. "I know I'm not Icepaw, and I never will be. I know I'm not your friend, and I probably won't ever be that either. I just wanted to tell you that she'd gone and that I'm sorry. I don't even know why I'm saying this to you but I am so I might as well finish. I never really got to know her but I know you did, so... remember her for me."_

He and Silverpaw had shared that morning. For one morning, it had been as if she cared. The minute the daily routine started again she was her normal, snappish self. He had withdrawn from her again.

Silverpaw pushed her way through the brush panting. "Snakepaw!" she said quickly.

"What is it?" he asked. His amber eyes showed disinterest as he looked at her.

"Icepaw - she's coming back!" she said.

_Coming back? She's coming back? Icepaw? The same Icepaw? Really? Truly? She was coming back?_

He knew who it was pushing through after Silverpaw by the sound of their pawsteps and their breathing.

Her blue eyes looked directly at him. Her whiskers quivered slightly in the wind. Icepaw stood between two pine trees.

"Icepaw?" he asked. He couldn't quite believe it was her. It was like she was an illusion, like she was only a dream. Maybe she was like mist and the wind would blow her away before he got the chance to even hear her voice again. Maybe he was seeing things. She looked too perfect, and the light dancing around her like the sun made her seem no more than a ghost.

Then she started running towards him. Her white fur ruffled in the wind which broke through the trees. She pressed herself against him for a minute, then pulled back and looked at him. She grinned. "First one back to camp wins!"

She broke away from him, running as fast as she could toward the camp. He smiled; she would be out of breath halfway there. She could run for short periods of time, but beyond that she would be panting for the rest of the afternoon. He began to lope after her.

Silverpaw stood looking sadly after them for a minute. Moonpaw came up behind her. "You're not actually jealous of them are you?" she scoffed.

"No," Silverpaw said absent mindedly. "I just think maybe I'm missing something."

**Okay, so I know everyone hates Silverpaw and Moonpaw. Let's see what happens, shall we?  
>I have to thank personally my latest big reviewer: ATHENASOWL11! Thank you so much! You've been keeping my inbox alive with reviews! Thank you!<strong>

**Also thanks to Bubbletail, my latest reviewer.**

**Spoiler for next chapter: Short chapter but then long chapter after it. Time will have passed in the plot between the next chapter and the chapter after that.**

**~Iceshadow of SHADOWCLAN~**


	22. Chapter 21, The Chance

**This chapter isn't very good. Please forgive me and sorry if the wait is long for the next update (s). AND THIS ISN'T THE END! THERE IS SOOOOOOO MUCH MORE WAITING TO UNFOLD!**

Chapter 21, The Chance

_I've been waiting for a chance  
><em>_I've been waiting for your glance  
><em>_I've been watching your stance_

_Through and through; I know you well  
><em>_I know where your thoughts dwell  
>I know anger or fear in your yell <em>

_I'm trying so hard  
>I've been on guard<br>I've been waiting for a shard_

_The slim chance_

_That I could make you proud  
><em>

Petalstar let out a loud yelp and her amber eyes filled with fear as the earth shook. Her old sandy den was shaking so hard she feared it might collapse.

The member's of her Clan were gathered around, their fear scent filling her nostrils. The twilight pressed in and eyes gleamed in the gloomy darkness. She managed to raise her voice above the loud shaking and creaking of trees. "Don't panic! It will pass!" she prayed to StarClan that she was right and it would indeed pass.

Icepaw, Snakepaw, Moonpaw, and Silverpaw were all hunched together in one tight bunch. Snakepaw hissed, "What do you think is going on?"

"I don't know!" Icepaw hissed back. The earth shaking beneath them was a terrifying sensation and she feared at any moment a tree might fall on them. The whipping, whistling wind made her shiver like death.

A shriek arose from the elder's den. All of the apprentices started hurtling through the swaying night to see what had happened to their only elder, Sweetsnow.

They found the lonely white shecat below a toppling pine tree. She was transfixed with horror watching it slowly fall towards her.

Snakepaw and Icepaw ran forward to help while Silverpaw and Moonpaw stopped the rest of the Clan from rushing in and getting trapped. "Stay back!" Silverpaw yelled loudly.

Snakepaw rushed over and pushed Sweetsnow to the ground, safely on the other side of the tree. Icepaw tripped over a dark thorn branch and her eyes widened as the tree came hurtling down.

Quick as a flash, Moonpaw grabbed Icepaw by her leg and yanked her back.

Icepaw stood panting for a moment, and Moonpaw peered over the side where Snakepaw had Sweetsnow. Thankfully, they were both safe. _Idiots,_ she thought. _Trying to all heroic. _However, Icepaw said something unexpected. "Thank you."

Moonpaw looked at her with her yellow eyes round in surprise. "Y-you're welcome," she stuttered slightly.

Petalstar stood on the high ledge. The earth shaking tremors had stopped and she stood looking proudly down at the four apprentices who stood below her. "For these four apprentices' bravery and courage, they are to be granted their warrior names. First, may I name Icepaw of ShadowClan. I pray you have finally found your place in this world and that you have learned from your experiences." She raised her voice and her amber eyes gleamed. "Some may doubt your loyalty. I do not. The ability to choose and the ability to change events to your will is a powerful ally and marks a stronger cat than the one who will wait and bide their time.  
>"And so I name you Iceshadow, in honor of your choice to remain with ShadowClan. Let it also be known that another name for you may be Icerose, for not all may see the thorns of a rose, but also in it is beauty. You are a full warrior of our Clan."<p>

Snakepaw started the cheering this time. "Iceshadow! Iceshadow! Icerose!" Soon, everyone had joined in.

His amber eyes glowed at her with a hidden meaning she could only guess at. It made her heart beat just a little faster in the twilight pine forest as he called her name once again. _Iceshadow. Icerose. _Did he think she was beautiful?

"Snakepaw, from this moment forward you will be known as Snakeclaw. Your name is fierce for your bravery; but like a snake you strike out only when necessary." she proclaimed from her towering perch.

"Snakeclaw!" Iceshadow yelled out. "Snakeclaw!"

"Moonpaw, your warrior name shall be Moonshine." Petalstar announced.

Iceshadow thought it odd that such a gruff and agressive cat should be given such a gentle name. Suddenly, she understood. _It is not what is on the outside that matters, the day to day shell that we live in. If this were true we would never truly be ourselves, because we would never react to anything out of the ordinary. It is when terror and desperation strike that we truly understand who we are._ Petalstar understood this and had seen Moonshine save Iceshadow.

She smiled. It was time to put old differences behind her and understand the people inside the shell.

"Silverpaw, you shall now be known as Silverheart." Petalstar smiled down and jumped off the rock.

Silverheart, Moonshine, Iceshadow, and Snakeclaw gathered beneath the rock. Silverheart grinned. "Well, there's no one sleeping in the apprentices den tonight. I think we can have on last night of memories, yes?" Silverheart asked before her slight grey form sped away.

Iceshadow smiled at Snakeclaw. She would miss the anvil shaped branch that had fallen from the big oak tree above it. She would miss the narrow single dens that the apprentices slept in.

But there was an adventure waiting for her. If she never stepped out of her shell; out of her den; she would never find that mystery and adventure.

She smiled. Wolfsong _would_ be proud.

**IT'S NOT THE END! Thank you all my lovely reviewers :)**


	23. Chapter 22, I Love You

**So I've been gone for AGES, but please please R & R!**

Chapter 22, I Love You

The ThunderClan camp started shaking in the middle of the night, cats crying out in confusion as the very forest around them shook.

"Forestpaw!" Snowpaw hissed, her blue eyes glinting in the darkness. Her long fluffy fur was filled with tiny bits of moss as she shook her friend abruptly awake.

His eyes came open in a flash as the earth rumbled again underneath them. "What's going on?" He quickly leapt to his feet as the earth rocked.

"I don't know; but the elders!" Snowpaw said all in a rush. The elders might be trapped under their old tree branch which was the roof of their den! What if it fell on them?

Forestpaw quickly followed her thinking and they both sleepily stumbled out into the shaking night. It was hard to see and some cats were running. They bumped into Lightflash and Nightrose on the way, but didn't heed their calls as they rushed toward's Flameflow's den.

Flameflow was their only elder, and could be described as a bit of a paradox. He could be surprisingly loyal and kind, but on a usual day he ridiculed, criticized, and generally made anyone near him miserable as a form of entertainment. It was an odd thing though, some of those cats who had been expecting to have their head bitten off, had not. It was believed by some that he only snapped at the people who were 'too happy for their own good', as he had once put it. However, when he heard this theory he quickly put speaking of it out of fashion.

"Quick, Flameflow! Get out!" Forestpaw yelled with Snowpaw's white form right on his heels.

There came a grunt from the heavily shaking elders' den, and dust caught up in both of the apprentice's nostrils. Snowpaw coughed and wished desperately she could see. As she heard Flameflow shuffling out, she realized how terrified she felt. Unintentionally, she pressed closer to Forestpaw.

*.*

The morning came, light brightly shining into Snowpaw's eyes as she hesitantly blinked them open. The earth, thankfully, had stopped shaking.

Forestpaw was awake and lying next to her in the apprentices den. "Snowpaw," he began.

She looked deep into his amber eyes. They were lying close together. Her white paw was over his brown. She felt like she couldn't breathe for a minute. That look in his eyes... had she always felt like this? She didn't even know what 'this' was. She felt excited and scared and like she just wanted to stare at his face forever and ever. Her mouth opened slightly as if to say something, but she didn't.

"I love you." He said.

In a rush, she knew what that feeling was. She knew what the feeling that made her deeply inhale and hold her breath, that made her eyes light up and made her want to laugh and cry at the same time.

She loved him. She really, really, loved him.

She leaned closer and whispered in his ear.

"I love you, forever and always."

*.*

Lavenderstar jumped up onto the highrock, with Tigersplash below her. Their eyes were both proud as Lavenderstar called out to her Clan. "Cats of ThunderClan, gather beneath the Highrock.  
>"It is my duty, and my pleasure this day to make two apprentices who have shown their bravery warriors of this Clan." Her voice rang clearly through the morning, cutting through the birds chirping and the birches rustling in the wind.<p>

"Snowpaw and Forestpaw, come forward. You have lost a friend, but you have remained strong through it all. I, Lavenderstar, leader of thunderClan, call my warrior ancestors to look down upon these brave apprentices. They have trained hard to understand the ways of your noble code, and I commend them to you as warriors in their turn. "Snowpaw and Forestpaw, do you promise to uphold the warrior code and to protect and defend this Clan, even at the cost of your lives?"

"We do," they said together.

"Then by the powers of StarClan, I give you both your warrior names. Snowpaw, you shall be known as Snowblossom. Forestpaw, you shall be known as Forestshadow." she announced proudly.

They shared a look and a smile no one else would ever understand.

*.*

The next gathering brought news of love; and death.

**Oh no! Review or it might stop! And I'm serious!**

~Iceshadow!~


	24. Chapter 23, The End and The Beginning

**Thanks to Badgerclaw ThunderClan Warrior for leaving an anonymous review. I wrote some bits of this a long time ago.**

Chapter 23, The End and The Beginning

There was the customary gathering gossip and noise, and excited wide eyed young apprentices everywhere. Iceshadow felt the urge to smile every time she saw them. She was reminded of her first gathering, and felt a pang that it had not been the joyous affair she had been expecting. But this was her first gathering as a ShadowClan warrior, and excitement and enthusiasm were bubbling up inside her. Moreover, it was not just her first gathering as a ShadowClan warrior. That enough was enough to make her want to tilt her head to the sky and yowl at the stars; but it was her first gathering with Snakeclaw.

Just looking into his shining amber eyes made all the noise vanish as she lost herself in those eyes. All that remained was the gentle noise of the wind in the tree branches above. Once again, he looked directly into her eyes.

Was there something deeper than their apprentice friendship? She found herself thinking on it. Iceshadow was not wondering it; rather she was hoping it. She was hoping it with all her heart and she was remembering Petalstar's words and the pride in those eyes. She was remembering Snakeclaw's voice cheering her on. _For not all may see the thorns of a rose, but also in it is beauty. _In that moment she was happier than she had ever been. Life was sweet and every moment and every heartbeat felt right; like it should be.

Then Snowblossom burst through the crowd. To Iceshadow, at first she seemed the same old Snowpaw. Enthusiastic, brave, kind, innocent. She had never possessed the anger and rage Iceshadow had within her grasp. But no, as she looked at Snowblossom, Iceshadow saw something more. She saw an age; not an old, decrepit age, but a blossoming, bright age. "Snowpaw," Iceshadow breathed out in satisfaction. This evening had just been completed for her.

"Snowblossom," her sister breathed out. Their eyes found each other and the sisters were next to each other, crossing their paws again like they always had.

"Iceshadow," Iceshadow purred out.

"Or Icerose," Snakeclaw pointed out, mewing a greeting to Forestshadow and Snowblossom.

"I'm Forestshadow now," the handsome tom spoke.

"Congratulations," Iceshadow nodded. Any enmity that had been between them was gone; now they were simply old friends rejoicing to be together again after so long.

"We have some other news, Icerose," Snowblossom said in a breathy tone.

Iceshadow noted the use of her other name without comment as Snowblossom continued all in a rush. "I'm having kits."

Life was going slow as Iceshadow's eyes lit up. Life was full and life was good. "I'm happy for you," she told them. It was true. Every bit of it was true. This day was one of the best of her life.

*.*

It was the day after the gathering, and Snakeclaw and Iceshadow were walking by the ShadowClan and ThunderClan border. The sun was setting beautifully, turning the clouds a pink that vibrated the life that was in the air. "Snakeclaw," Iceshadow stopped him with her tail. Her eyes were all aglow. In those dark blue eyes was a meaning words could not convey. It seemed an eternity before she spoke, and in that eternity Snakeclaw could revel in her gaze. She was beautiful. She was truly beautiful.

"I love you." The wind whispered in the trees around them. It seemed as if life could not go on because life had stopped right here; it had stopped to freeze the best moment of his life forever.

He was about to answer her back with the words of his heart; with the words he had ached to tell her since he heard the awkward, sarcastic, defensive apprentice in the camp for the first time. Suddenly, a thin screech came to their ears.  
>Snowblossom.<p>

*.*

She saw her sister spinning around, too late to see the monster that was bearing down on her. Shock made Iceshadow's mind go a horrible blank as she saw her sister and the tiny lives inside of her about to die. She saw the forest blurring past so fast she didn't know what she was doing. A rock caught her paw but in the haze of certainty Snowblossom was going to die she brushed the pain away. Th early evening air was cold on her face as she approached her sister, barely realizing what she was doing as her paws slipped onto the Thunderpath and her destiny.

A cry echoed from behind her but she couldn't pick out the words. As she pushed Snowblossom out of the way the blaring golden lights of the monster cut into her vision unti lshe could see nothing but white. Suddenly, pain bit into her side as the monster threw her across the thunderpath. The cry came again, this time Snakeclaw's words ramming their way into ther ears. "ICESHADOW! STOP! NO!"

The forest returned in a spinning mass of branches above her head. She heart panting and suddenly saw Snakeclaw's head above her.

"I love you," she whispered.

He had to run, he had to go. As he sped away from her, her life died away in one moment. In just one moment, it was all gone. The light was to be replaced forever for dark.

*.*

Her eyes snapped open.


	25. Chapter 24, I Will Not Be Alone

Chapter 24, I will not be alone

The forest was damp with rain. The trees creaked and whispered through the wind.  
>It was through the oak trees near Sunning Rocks that a black form padded. A form whose shoulders were hunched and their head hung low.<br>As a bird departed the trees nearby, soaring into the distance, Nighrose's face lifted. Her green eyes spoke of one who has had their dreams torn away. Her black paws moved almost without thinking, as if in a dream.

It has been a moon since Nightrose received the news from ShadowClan. Iceshadow of ShadowClan, as they called her, was dead. Nightrose had not been there. Nightrose had not been there when her little Icekit died. It was hard to believe that the same kit she knew; the same kit she had comforted when she was scared, the same kit she had scolded when she was bad, the same kit who had flown into a temper and run away; the same kit she had had in the nursery was gone. Just like that, snatched away.

Nightrose had not been like she should have been. She had wanted Icepaw back and she had fought for her. But in the fighting, had she once stopped to tell Iceshadow that she loved her, or that she wanted her home.

She stopped, considering what she was doing. She was doing something which she knew in the end would be the end of her. Nightrose of ThunderClan was betraying her Clan and she might end up alone, a rogue, a loner. But she was already alone. So, so, alone. There was no one. Swiftwing, who had been her friend from when they had been apprentices, looked at her with only sorrow in her eyes. She would comfort Nightrose, but they had lost their old companionship. They didn't laugh, they didn't smile. Swiftwing was the only person in ThunderClan that made life worth living. Shadefrost she didn't trust.

"Maskface," she called out.

She saw him coming out of the shadows. Those amber eyes. She almost choked as she knew she still loved him. He was all she had left and she was still in love.

"Nightrose," he said sadly.

She ran to meet him, touching noses.

"We have found our way into a tangle we will never get out of, Nightrose." His soft mew startled her. "A tangle of lies, a tangle of death, and a tangle of love." he pushed her back, looking into her eyes. "There is no one for you and there is no one for me. No one except you."

"What about Owlsong?" she asked gently. In those eyes she could find an eternity. He had betrayed her, he had betrayed their secret, and Iceshadow wouldn't be dead without him. He had betrayed his second mate. How could she still love him?

"I've betrayed everyone, you know that. Which is why I have decided something, my dear." It had been a long time since he called her dear.

She had found him in the forest, despairing. He had seen the patrols, but he could never go back. He had stayed at Sunning Rocks. The solo hunting missions where she could visit him were the days she lived for, and she felt a tremor go through her.

"You know, my rose. I'm going. I'm going to a land where I can be happy, where I can forget and be forgotten. I'm going to a land where I can be lost and found at the same time. I will die alone and I will die thinking of you, but I can't be with you. It will hurt too much, and your Clan will not accept me. I've hurt you too much to stay with you. You have to get strong without me."

As he left for a life of solitude, a life far away; the life of a rogue; it hurt almost too much to bear.

She would not give up. Nightrose slowly began to remember herself, to find the Nightrose before she loved Maskface and before everything went wrong.

She made one promise to herself. _I will not be alone. I will be strong._

*.*

Nightrose stood near Sunning Rocks a long time, looking at the sunset almost hidden beyond the clouds. It felt as if she had lost everyone; and she had lost herself, too.

She heard a cat in the bracken and thorns behind her. Slowly, she turned. Her green eyes already were expecting who it was to be, already awaiting the one person she thought would never enter into her life.

"Oh Nightrose." It was Shadefrost.

It took her back to the days when she had been an apprentice. Sneaky but loyal Shadefrost, kind and brave Swiftwing, passionate and imaginative Nighrose. They had been apprentices together, and they had been always together. Swiftwing had been a medicine cat apprentice, but they had helped her gather herbs. Owlstripe and Lightflash had been in love since the first moment, always staying together. She had forgotten about their old friendship, the way she felt when she saw him.

Had she loved him? If she had, Maskface had come between them. He had wiped all the thoughts of Shadefrost out of her mind, and he had become cruel. He had taken away her dreams with his unkind words, with his cold eyes. He had been her Executioner of Dreams.

Maskface was gone, and she would always love him. Suddenly, she was not lost any more.

He would not badger her, he would not tell Lavenderstar, he would be who he was, instead of the cold imposter that the years had turned him into. They would be friends again; and someday maybe more. She had her Snowblossom, and she had her two oldest friends.

Their eyes met, and for the first time she didn't feel alone.

**I know it's not what you were waiting for, but I will have more edgy stuff going on; this took a completely unexpected turn. Don't worry, the master plot is going to keep going! I just had to tie in that little Maskface thread. I'm sorry if you wanted more Maskface, anyone? PM me if you did! I don't think he's coming back, and I don't think Mask x Owl will work out, but you never know. PM me if you want more Maskface, because I just think I might have an idea of a sweet but possibly not to your satisfaction ending. Please review my longest fanfiction!**

~Iceshadow of mixed heritage~


	26. Chapter 25, Found or Lost

**It might not have been obvious where Maskface was going, so this chapter should clear that up. **

Chapter 25, Lost or Found

This time the sun was rising as the flat plains stood before him. A few thin stalks of grass and reed stuck up, waving gently in the invisible breeze. Maskface watched the dawn thoughtfully as he stood still. Despite the early morning it was not cold.

He was walking away from Nightrose; pretty, understanding, passionate, and above all broken Nightrose. He didn't know if he was hurting her more by leaving. He felt there should be some inward sense of certainty, some sense that he was doing the right thing. Inside he only felt hope. The hope at one moment was as beautiful and as gentle as the sunset, and at the next moment, it was burning and hurt as much as if he had stepped into a fire.

Maskface didn't know if he was finding himself, or loosing himself. He thought briefly of the look in her eyes. It had been acceptance as he stepped away from her.

She would not stay broken. In time, she would mend and be the same Nightrose he had known again, with her flashing green eyes, her rash behaviour, her pure heart, and her kind voice.

But would he? Would he ever be the same, would he ever forget?

No. He would never forget. There was something else in the corners of his mind. Owlsong. He had left her, he had betrayed her, and he could never ever return to her or make her heart heal. He would never forget either of them, and he would never be the same.

But maybe, just maybe... his paws trembled at the thought as he dared to hope beyond even his burning hopes... the change would have been for the better.

Nothing was resolved or predestined as he began to go on the hardest journey of his life.

As he strode forward, a lithe form slipped out of the shadows. He looked up in surprise to see a light brown shecat with light blue eyes staring at him.

"You look like something is on your mind," she said easily.

"Who are you?" Maskface asked in surprise. The loner was young, and reminded him slightly of the cat he had not dared to approach; his kit with Nightrose, Snowblossom. He could sense the same imagination as Nightrose, the same compassion of Snowblossom, and the bravery of Owlsong within her.

"My name is Shine," she said.

"Maskface." he answered.

Shine inclined her head. "You are alone."

"In more way than one," Maskface wondered if this young soul could really understand.

"Then I suggest we find our future together." She said simply. Her blue eyes seemed to say the rest. She was alone.

The hope soared in his chest. He vowed silently he would take care of this young cat in the same way he would have taken care of his own kits.

He was going to be a rogue, but he would not be alone.

_I'm going to a land where I can be happy, where I can forget and be forgotten. I'm going to a land where I can be lost and found at the same time. I will die alone and I will die thinking of you, but I can't be with you. _

He would think of his Owlsong and his Nightrose; and maybe someday he would find himself.

"We will find our way," he vowed to her.

*.*

The rain was slashing through ThunderClan territory. Forestshadow walked through the blinding sheets of rain, hurrying to Sunning Rocks where some shelter might be found. As he came to the looming expanse of stone by the swelling river, he stiffened slightly.

His amber eyes searched keenly through the near darkness for the source of the noise. As his brown fur was plastered to his back, he decided to hurry forward.

As he sat in an overhang, waiting for the rain to pass, he thought about just how lucky he was.

Luckier than Iceshadow.

They would never be able to forget Iceshadow; Iceshadow of ShadowClan. He wouldn't be able to forget the stupid apprentice fights they'd had, where Icepaw's temper got the better of her. He wouldn't be able to forget how much she had changed, what a good warrior she had become.

He would never be able to forget how easily those blue eyes changed. From an anger so fierce she would attack a Clanmate, to a dancing glow of happiness, to a watery and hurt gaze, to the way they had been when he saw her die.

There were no accurate words to describe the haze in her eyes as she dove in front of the monster, pushed Snowblossom out of the way when he was too far away. He would never know if it had been a haze of insanity or a haze of love and bravery.

Suddenly, he spun around. There were slow, steady, pawsteps coming towards him.

"Forestshadow," a voice came.

He filled with dread as the bloody cat emerged on top of Sunning Rocks, standing in the rain. He knew that voice.

"He was here, Maskface was here." Blue eyes found his. "I see things differently now." she cocked her head, rain splashing down and over her face and eyes. She choked. "I don't know if I've found myself or lost myself."

Insanity clouded her eyes.

It was Iceshadow.

**This may not make a whole lot of sense right now, but it will unfold. And unlike my self-insert, I'm not insane... or at least sane enough to write a plot... Reviews will help me.**

**~Iceshadow of questionable sanity (if you didn't get that was a joke, reread it!)**


	27. Chapter 26, Live Memories

**Wow, thanks to EVERYONE! You helped me out so much with those reviews. It really means a lot that you took the time :) This is a flashback, as Goddess of Darkness was confused in a review, about Iceshadow being alive. This also covers Snakepaw... er, Snakeclaw's part of the story. I won't ruin the last part of the story with my author's note, (slight spoiler, very slight) but I really like Owlsong in this chapter, and I feel like... I've fixed the mess I created with these characters! Yay!**

Chapter 26, Live Memories

The ShadowClan pines remained perfectly still in the early morning light. Snakeclaw remained still, sitting in the medicine cat den. Moss, a fallen branch, a sleeping Sleetflash, and fallen leaves gathered in drifts surrounded him.

Behind the amber eyes, there was an emptiness. His eyes stared at nothing, not as if he was seeing things that weren't there, but as if he were somewhere else.

Images flashed inside his mind. Confusing, jumbled, memories.

_First her eyes. Flashing, blue, happy. Her words ringing in his eyes. "I love you." Perfect happiness flooding through her eyes._

_The shriek came, thin and terrified. They had both leapt into action, running towards the noise._

_They halted for a minute, moving in synchrony. Then suddenly, as he froze, the synchrony was broken._

_His world was broken, dashed to pieces._

_Her eyes transformed once more, to a determined bravery._

_She hurtled towards the monster, pushing her sister out of the way, and spinning around towards the monster..._

_A scream. She flew through the air, the monster speeding past. He had run towards her, even as monsters growled in the distance, threatening to sweep him off the Thunderpath as well._

_She was bleeding. He couldn't make the words come. He couldn't tell her he loved her, had always loved her, would always love her. He just stared down in horror as she lay before him. She was not as she had been before, brave, determined; fiercely beautiful. She was lying, broken, bleeding, afraid._

_As another monster hurtled toward him, Forestshadow grabbed the scruff of his neck. The tortoiseshell tom had run to Snowblossom, then seen Iceshadow lying on the Thunderpath. Forestshadow pulled Snakeclaw out of the way of the monster, Iceshadow still lying on the side of the Thunderpath._

_They both saw her go still. "Go," Forestshadow whispered hoarsely._

_It had been only as he sat numbly in the camp, after telling ShadowClan Iceshadow was dead, that he realized something that broke his heart. Silverheart's reassuring words and gentle touches were empty, although not empty in intent, he couldn't think of anything except his realization. Sleetflash had taken him to her den to prevent him from returning to Iceshadow's body. Her_ body._ It was as if she had never been a living cat, now she was just a_ body.

_The last memory hurt more than all the rest, more than joy, sorrow, and love. He had padded out into the empty, sleeping camp at twilight. The pine needles rustled gently as he stepped, as if whispering sympathy. The shadowy camp looked more gray than dark in the mixed light. The velvety black sky shone through the green boughs of the trees, ever so softly rustling._

_He had never told her he loved her._

*.*

Owlsong pounced swiftly on the mouse which was moving among the pines. She looked away through two rows of pines. It unexpectedly took her breath away. It looked like a tunnel, a straight path, going forever.

The thought of forever brought back a love she had felt for forever. A love that had been hoped for, fulfilled, and broken over and over again. Maskface had sent word that he had gone to live like a rogue. He had left words for her, but not what she had wanted. Maskface had not told her that he loved her, that he'd be thinking of her, or any other meaningful thing that lovers should say.

But he had never loved her, had he?

_There are no words for you, because words are too small for us. Someday you will understand everything._

As she looked sadly into the passage in the trees, a small change took place in her heart.

Someday, she would understand. Someday she would see him again, whether it was in StarClan or in this forest that was their home together.

Her heart took a leap as she recalled memories of before Nightrose, before everything. Apprentices together, friends, dreaming with their heads in the clouds. Playing games full of a meaning no one else would understand. In the lonely forest, suddenly the sun broke through the thick branches and Maskface was there again, beside her, laughing. She saw him as he had been, as perhaps he might someday be again. Happy; together.

The truth of it dawned on her, and sorrow did not leave her; but it turned to understanding.

Words are too small for live memories.


	28. Chapter 27, Tragedy Binds

**Thanks to Spottedstream for reviewing! Please check out the poll on my profile if you've read some of my other stories.**

Chapter 27, Tragedy Binds

Forestshadow stepped out of the overhang out into the splashing rain. "Iceshadow," he said softly.

Her eyes gleamed. She cocked her head again. "Is it wrong?" she asked suddenly.

"Is what wrong?" he said in the same cautious, gentle voice.

"Is it wrong to want to see the blood?" Iceshadow swallowed, her claws glancing off the slick rock.

He shut his eyes. What had happened to this once noble cat? "It's not wrong," he told her, his voice thick. "It's not wrong to want to defend your Clan, it's not wrong to feed your Clan; but it is wrong to kill without reason."

Her eyes were so intense he wanted to look away, but he couldn't. "I feel like I have a reason, but I can't find it, I can't put it to words... It's like there's a haze..."

Iceshadow was alive, and she had lost her mind. Somehow, he felt a sorrow that he should not have felt until it had sunk in more. He should not have felt this sorrow for a lost soul until he had thought over what had been lost, but he did.

Perhaps he had always known that she had a potential for murder, a potential for insanity - a potential for evil. She had fought that since she had attacked him that day as an apprentice, without cause or reason.

Finally she had given into that. "What happened to you, Iceshadow?" he asked with a sadness in his amber eyes which would not leave.

She shuffled her paws, and looked back at him with the same sadness. "I don't know any more. I don't know where it all went wrong."

"Think back," he urged her. Forestshadow felt that he could help... if only, if only he could have the chance.

Suddenly, anger gleamed in her features, transforming her lost expression to one of rage. "It's my fault," she growled, claws coming out once again.

"It's not your fault, just let me help you," he pleaded.

"They didn't say that, but..." she trailed off, focusing on her claws and the way the diffused light glinted off.

"Who didn't say that?" Forestshadow asked, clutching to the last hope he had.

She looked at him, this time a haze over her eyes. "After the monster hit me, the cats of StarClan came to me. They said I had a terrible destiny, and gave me a prophecy. They said that my destiny must be fulfilled, even if it was one to shake the forest to its roots." In a voice hardly above a whisper, she recited the prophecy that had come to only a few. "_Thunder to __S__hadow, dust to dust, ashes to ashes, ice to shadow. Daughter of Thunder and __S__on of __S__hadow bring upon themselves the greatest pain the Clans have known. Bloom of the Night cannot hide it, but the face that shows nothing will be the undoing of both._

"S_hadow on ice is doubly wrong, for ice is cold-hearted and shadow casts all the others into shadow. The wrongs of the past and present cannot be righted, because of the daughter of Thunder._

_The forest will tremble, for the coming of the shadow on ice. Lies will be spread, and it will be thought that the wrong was righted._

_The wrong cannot be righted._

_The forest will be frozen, and lie under shadow."_

Forestshadow stared at her. "Iceshadow," he murmured.

"What's wrong with me?" she asked, her voice growing in tone and intensity. "Why did it have to be me? Why couldn't I be happy? I deceived myself, I know why..." It seemed now she was talking to herself more than him. "I thought he loved me."

*.*

_One day later_

Wolfsong was leading the group in the gray, solemn light. Swiftwing, Nightrose, Shadefrost, Snowblossom, and Forestshadow were already behind her.

The moorland of WindClan stretched before them. "Where shall we go?" Swiftwing asked as Wolfsong paused.

"He went this way," Nightrose said, with an unreadable expression.

They were going to find Maskface. The news of Iceshadow being alive had spread through ThunderClan like wildfire, but had not yet been told to ShadowClan. They needed Maskface for that.

All the group stopped to think about what they were about to do. The group of six each had something different to think about, and all of it was entwined with the tragedy of what had happened to one they had known, known and loved. Wolfsong's chest was tight as she remembered Iceshadow on the night of the gathering. They had met eyes once, but that had said all they needed to say. Iceshadow had been wild, joyous - finally at peace, something the young, awkward apprentice Wolfsong remembered had always coveted. She had finally found her place... and now it had been taken from her. The kit she had watched, the apprentice she had taught, and the warrior she loved were gone, but she would do anything it took to get Iceshadow back.

Shadefrost felt remorse that while the kit had been under the impression he was her father, he had only used her as a way to find out who had taken Nightrose from him. It was too late for remorse now.

Nightrose felt only an emptiness for Iceshadow - an emptiness that she had felt since Icepaw had left her, but an emptiness that had started to be filled when she had seen how happy her little kit was. She wondered how Maskface would react to seeing her again; and what she would do. She loved Shadefrost now, but she had loved him once, and a part of him would always be with her.

Snowblossom and Forestshadow were as one, supporting each other, helping when the other fell, sharing in a secret self blame that they could not alleviate. Had this happened because of them?

Swiftwing had never seen the two kits as much as she should have. She and Nightrose had become separated when Nightrose wouldn't tell her what happened. She, Shadefrost, and Nightrose had been friends. Shadefrost had become cold, and ignored them - then they had only each other, and now, she didn't know if this would tear them apart again.

Suddenly, Maskface and Shine were seen picking their way towards them. "Maskface!" Wolfsong called out after Nightrose identified him in a shaky voice.

"What are you doing here?" he asked warily. "This is Shine," he introduced the cream shecat with bright blue eyes.

They all knew what had happened to the others. They were like old friends, even if they didn't know each other well. They had to tell Maskface what had happened.

Wolfsong answered slowly, the instinctive leader of the group.

"Tragedy Binds."


	29. Chapter 28, Where Lives Meet

**Thanks to Iceshadow911247 and Badgerclaw ThunderClan Warrior! P.S. It's not over until I say it is! I have more! For their location in the second part and third part, it's the stream in Chapter 15, Belonging. Also I tie in a thread from Chapter 4, Executioner of Dreams. **

Chapter 28, Where Lives Meet

The strange scent was in his nostrils when he woke early the next morning. He was still in Sleetflash's den. As he rose slowly, sleep still clinging to his limbs, he saw the ShadowClan medicine cat before him. Slowly, he realized, how much she had changed. He remembered her as an experienced medicine cat, but not caring for her patients. She would go through the motions, but her heart hadn't been in it. Not... not until Iceshadow came.

Worry shone through her dark blue eyes as she surveyed the scene before both of them. Six ThunderClan cats stood before them, in the very heart of ShadowClan territory.

The two hurried out, to see Sweetsnow also struggling out of her den. Snakeclaw felt a pang and a rush of shame when he remembered how he and Icepaw had visited her when they were apprentices. They had stopped after they became warriors; not intentionally, they just... forgot. _Will people forget Iceshadow too? When all's said and done, will she have meant anything to this world?_

"Why are you here?" Sleetflash asked slowly.

Maskface stepped out from behind the rest. Snakeclaw's eyes widened. He recognized Nightrose, Wolfsong, Snowblossom, Forestshadow, Swiftwing, and had seen the black tom with blue eyes at a gathering before. Maskface was a different matter. He had disappeared after being sent to go after Sleetflash, and no search parties had found him.

"We are here about Iceshadow," he said without expression.

"She's dead," Snakeclaw spat.

"We know," Wolfsong stepped forward as Snowblossom and Forestshadow huddled together. Her voice was gentle, but full of compassion. "This will be hard for you to hear, but please... just try to understand."

Sweetsnow's blue eyes narrowed at this. Snakeclaw briefly wondered how she had coped with Iceshadow's death. He hadn't visited her, so how would he know? Did he even have a right to know?

"Iceshadow is alive."

In that moment, the world stood still. Then, it all came crashing in. The noise of the gentle breeze rustling through the pine needles because like a hurricane. Wolfsong's amber eyes became a raging fire that was all he saw.

She was alive. She was alive. Disbelief echoed through him. She couldn't be alive. He felt weak, like the world was drifting away from him.

"She's lost her mind."

In a flash, Snakeclaw knew why. He knew it was all his fault.

He'd run from her. He hadn't been able to come back, because Sleetflash wouldn't let him. Forestshadow had dragged him away. But he could have fought, fought to go back to her. He hadn't even told her he loved her.

*.*

Moonshine, Silverheart, Briarrush, Sleetflash, and Snakeclaw were travelling with the ThunderClan cats and Maskface. In the gray morning light, they were searching ShadowClan territory first, the pine needles gathering in drifts around the bases of the trees when the wind blew.

In the distance, they heard a voice in the distance.

"StarClan, forgive me... StarClan, give me peace at last..."

Snakeclaw was crashing through the pines, in front of everyone else when he heard that voice. Even as his lungs burned with the cold air he drew in, his breath coming in ragged gasps and the pines rushing past him all in a blur, his movement seemed tortuously slow as he ran as fast as he could. Amber eyes were on fire as he saw her in the clearing.

In a circle of pines, casting dark lacing shadows on the ground, a fox growled as it moved slowly towards Iceshadow. She was on the ground, white fur full of pine needles, crouching beneath the wild animal with eyes full of a misery he could not have imagined before.

"Iceshadow!" he yowled, springing into action, jumping and swiping at the fox.

As Moonshine, Silverheart, Briarrush and Wolfsong readily raced to help him, Briarrush hissed a command to stay and wait.

The three young warriors were no match for the fox, even with their ferocity and loyalty to their fallen Clanmate. Quickly Moonshine was injured and Silverheart was covered with scratches. Despite that, they kept fighting for what they knew might be a lost cause.

The reason for Briarrush's order quickly became evident as a second fox emerged from the pines. Maskface realized they were near a stream which was between them and RiverClan territory, as he also began to battle the second fox.

*.*

They were now back at the stream, still fighting the foxes. The two were starving, and determined.

At last, the first fox sank to the ground, dead. The second, however, continued to battle the band of tired warriors, swiping with its razor sharp claws and holding its ground. All in a sickly moment, its claws caught Briarrush by the throat, hurling her into the stream.

The blood continued to flow out of her throat as her eyes widened. _StarClan,_ she thought as the clear, cold, gray waters began to cover the sky, _help them._ In one moment, her eyes were empty of any spirit or soul she had once posessed.

"Leave them!" A loud, clear voice rang out through the forest. Iceshadow stepped out of the clearing, blue eyes like daggers.

The fox could not understand her speech, but the meaning and threat was clear enough.

She stalked slowly through the pines until she came to the long stalks of grass which were starting to become wet from rain. With one swipe by the throat - where it killed Briarrush - it too fell to the water.

In a time of clarity, Maskface looked at his daughter. _Executioner of Dreams,_ he remembered. She would change them all, for better or worse.

"I-iceshadow?" Snakeclaw's eyes widened as he saw her.

"I'm back," was all she could manage looking into his eyes, full of pain.

*.*

Sweetsnow sat in the darkness of dusk, all the soft sounds closing in around her as she sat before Iceshadow. That night, there was no one but them in the forest, it seemed.

"I have something to tell you, young one." Sweetsnow's voice was gentle, her eyes kind.

"I have longed for blood, I have been betrayed by one I love - what more is there to learn or be told?" Iceshadow said bitterly.

"Something which you do not know, which you will only come to know is true when you have lived out your years. Your mentor Wolfsong will tell you the same." She said slowly.

"Wolfsong," Iceshadow murmured. "I will see her after all of this is done."

"You will see all of them again. While you may be part of ShadowClan - they will always be a part of you, forever. This is what I have to teach you. Tragedy Binds - Tragedy bind all of us together tighter than love, tighter than friendship, tighter than joy - because it is all of these things, in truth. It is the longing for them, the destruction of them - but it binds us together and we will find all of these things again. You will find happiness, you will find friendship - and you will find your love again, if you look with the eyes of truth. Where lives meet, they change, for better or worse."

When Iceshadow looked up again, Sweetsnow was gone. "Someday, I will understand what you tell me." She whispered into the night, making a promise to herself. "Until that day I will strive to find the understanding you seek to teach me. Thank you."

But fate weaves a crooked tapestry, taking from you what you hold dearest.


	30. Chapter 29, Love is Forever

**Thanks to Anonymous Playing With Fire, XSpiritwingX, Iceshadow911247, and Badgerclaw of ThunderClan with a truly inspiring and kind review! It means so much to me, in that moment of anticipation before the screen clears and I can see I got way more reviews than I thought I would! Bits of this chapter were from a while ago. Note: I've never been in love so I can't say all descriptions are accurate! Again it's not done.**

Chapter 29, Love is Forever

Petalstar's amber gaze fell to the brown tabby body before her. Water still soaked it, despite the careful grooming. Memories rushed over her, and ShadowClan camp disappeared.

_The lively brown kit was in the river, amber eyes sparkling. Cats near the shore stood helpless, watching. There had been a flood the day before, and the stream had swollen and become a river. Briarkit was on the other side of the water, shiny sunlit drops of water flying all over her. But her eyes were so happy. She was so, so, happy. She had been so brave._

_There was a bulrush she was clinging to, enjoying the tug of the insistent water against her fur. Briarkit laughed.  
>Petalstar had quietly slipped down towards the willow tree which was underwater. She launched herself forward, then clung to the creased bark of the willow. <em>

_She remembered grabbing the kit by her scruff and swimming back across the river, Briarkit slightly squirming._

Other memories flashed past her. Briarkit, becoming an apprentice. She had thought,_ for the rushing river you bested, and for the rush you clung to, your name will be Briarrush, and for your bravery. You will be remembered._ She tried to stop the flow of memories - Briarpaw dutifully gathering bedding for the elders in a sunny, hot afternoon; becoming a warrior in a gray, cloudy afternoon, promising to teach her apprentice everything she knew, and raising her head to the moon when she was named deputy and thanking StarClan.

Petalstar opened her eyes, the air seeming to sting them.

She didn't jump up to her usual place. Instead, she jumped up a high, dead tree. She clawed at the rotten, willing herself to keep steady as she climbed. Finally, she stood silhouetted against the early evening light behind her, through the pines. "Cats of ShadowClan," she called out.

Iceshadow was at the edge of the crowd, blue eyes unreadable as she waited for the words which would make her fate. As she waited for the new deputy to be made, she felt a flicker of ambition raising within her. She could not be picked as deputy, of course; aside from succumbing to insanity when StarClan had given her her destiny, she had not mentored an apprentice. But she remembered the lost dream of leading her Clan, and felt an ache at its destruction.

"As we mourn for the death of our brave deputy, which many of us knew as a kit, apprentice, and warrior, words cannot convey what we feel. There are many lessons life has to teach, and many of you have learned this already..."

_Words are too small for live memories,_ the pines seemed to whisper as Iceshadow stood among them.

"The new deputy of ShadowClan will be Hollyfire," Petalstar finalized. "And we must also welcome one who has left us back into our ranks. Iceshadow of ShadowClan - I know StarClan gave you a destiny to shake the forest, a prophecy came also to me."

There were murmurs of surprise in the cats gathered, but Iceshadow had stood on all fours and was gazing at Petalstar with a silent hope in her eyes.

"You will shake the forest, Iceshadow. Someday, you will understand how. You are welcomed back into our Clan. Make your peace." Petalstar leapt off of the dead tree with no branches, onto a twisting log beneath it. "My old den will be grown over with ivy and branches. Briarrush is to be buried there." she finished.

Several cats began to congratulate the lucky Hollyfire, but Iceshadow decided to make a peace which was not her own.

Fishshadow and Mudsplash were sitting under a pine tree, talking about prey, patrols, and generally nothing. Iceshadow shook her head as she looked sadly at the look in their eyes. After they had separated and her old mentor had headed for the freshkill pile, the former apprentice cut him off.

"Fishshadow," she murmured softly to him.

"Iceshadow." There was a moment of silence as he looked at the apprentice who had become a warrior. "Welcome back," he said eventually, happy to have her back, but not knowing what to say.

"There are things too small for words, Fishshadow - and then there are those who are afraid words will not convey it. Just tell her with words from your heart, and she will understand." She blinked once at him, and then departed.

Later, when the moon had risen, the two cats stood together. "Mudsplash, I need to tell you something." Fishshadow said anxiously.

Mudsplash stood uncertain for a moment. "Anything. You can tell me anything," she assured him.

"There is a long, beautiful way to say this that will convey what I mean, but I don't know what it is. Mudsplash, I love you." He said it simply, but he couldn't keep the emotion from his voice.

"M-me?" she stuttered suddenly, brown eyes wide. "But I'm a nobody!"

Now it was his turn to be surprised. "A nobody? You're a great hunter, you're loyal, you're a great friend... but I feel something more for you."

"Then..." she still looked afraid as she said it, as if he would take his words back. "I love you too."

Words do not convey.

*.*

Iceshadow was sitting alone looking through the forest that had become her home. In a way, she was more than happy to be home, and she was so happy for Mudsplash and Fishshadow.

But it was hard to be surrounded by a joy, a love that she could not share.

At that moment, the cat she least wanted to see in the world appeared.

Snakeclaw, with amber eyes shining, brown pelt fluffed up, and an expression she could not understand. "Iceshadow," he called quietly.

Iceshadow turned to him with cold eyes. _Just go,_ she thought. _Don't break my heart as well._

"I know why what happened to happened. I know everything, and I want to tell you something." He didn't let her stop him as a flood of words poured out. "What I felt for you was the purest emotion I've had, the best feeling of my life, and when I thought I'd lost you... It was like I'd lost everything. It was like even the warmest day was cold, like the sun had gone out and there was no light in the world. Iceshadow, I think it's high time I told you... I've loved you since the first moment I saw you, I've loved you even when we were just friends, I felt like I've known you forever and I love your bravery, and your loyalty, and your anger. I love everything about you. Don't leave me like this, separated by a barrier and never able to be the same as we were before. I want you back, like we were that fateful day. I love you."

"Snakeclaw... I can't tell you what I felt when I thought you didn't love me. I love you like I've never loved anyone and I'll always love you." Their eyes met and in a moment everything was right again.

Love may be forever... but life is not.


	31. Chapter 30, Dawn Won't Come

**This is freaky. There are exactly 900 words.** **Yay chapter 30! Also, if you like this story or any of my others, check out my new forum, Iceshadow of ShadowClan's forum all about my stories and updates. If I get posts I will make more topics. Thanks to Playing With Fire, your reviews especially inspire me - and its certainly refreshing to have someone that thinks I write deep things! It really means so much to me. Also Badgerclaw ThunderClan Warrior and Iceshadow911247, its reassuring to have reviewers that review after every chapter! Now I conclude my lengthy introduction :) This may make you cry, I have to warn you...**

Chapter 30, Dawn Won't Come

Iceshadow stretched open her eyes in an effort to force herself into the air and out of the dreamy realm of sleep. She yawned and looked around the warriors den. Snakeclaw lay still beside her, and she padded out into the surprisingly warm camp.

Faint rays of sunlight glanced off of the slippery needles, and Iceshadow still felt the urge to grin at the old apprentice notion she still harboured. _The floor is red._ The small patches of sunlight reminded her of a coat of fur, a tabby pattern repeating across a whole.

As she remembered what had been, all she could do was drive her mind away from the worrying thoughts that came to her. In the times she was alone, the anxieties that plagued her took form in her thoughts. What did the prophecy mean? Was it all just a twisted mess, or was there some underlying meaning to life?

Before she became a ShadowClan warrior, none would have thought Iceshadow ever thought about life as a whole. None guessed the extent of her thoughts. She remembered a strange confidence she had when she was an apprentice, and the memory came back with a satisfying twitch.

_Just because you don't understand me, doesn't mean there is nothing to understand. You don't know my thoughts, but I know and that's all that matters._

While it was a secluded, forlorn thought in some ways it did not bother Iceshadow to think of her angry apprentice days. Someday they would all understand - but then it came back again. Did she want them to understand her? There was some deep, dark secret buried in the depths of her mind that she didn't want anyone to know or understand? Iceshadow didn't want that thought, herself. She wished the secret had never been implanted, but now it was there it was staying.

"Iceshadow!" a familiar voice called out from above, the entry into camp.

"Snowblossom!" The energetic white shecat jumped from a fallen tree stump over patches of slick, green ivy to meet her sister. "What brings you here?"

"Iceshadow, its not good." Snowblossom for the first time lost her glad expression and her blue eyes were truly sad. "Its Wolfsong."

Iceshadow grinned, with the innocence she would never have again. "How is she?" she asked eagerly. It would be good to see Wolfsong at the next gathering; her old mentor had taught her more things than how to fight and hunt, and while ShadowClan had taught her things also, Wolfsong had been the mother Nightrose had never been. Nightrose had been distanced, distracted, and Iceshadow always felt like she had to hide her violence, her problems from Nightrose. Wolfsong had been there, someone to confide in and someone to trust. She loved her mentor.

"Oh Iceshadow," Snowblossom whispered. "She's dead."

To Snowblossom, to the group of cats which was slowly gathering around them, there was no pause between Snowblossom's news and Iceshadow's response.

But to Iceshadow, there was an eternity. An eternity of calm which there should not have been. An eternity to think of what had happened, and what she had lost. An eternity to think of all the things she hadn't said - an eternity of torture.

The forest stood still and the wind stopped. Anger surfaced, then the deadly calm, then fear. In an eternity of torture, her thoughts echoed clearly through a chasm of despair.

_You can't be gone. You can't be gone. You can't be gone because you were everything, because you were better, because I never told you what you meant to me, because you were always there._

_You can't leave me. How can you leave me? How can you do this to me? How can you make that haze come back again? _

_I loved you and you left me. _

The thoughts stopped at she started to shake. Not an angry shaking, but a helpless, weak shaking. "She can't be dead."

"Iceshadow, I'm so sorry..." her voice broke.

"It's not true, it can't be true, she wouldn't leave me!" Iceshadow was defiant, even though her blue eyes were beginning to cloud and her voice was tight.

Snakeclaw, Silverheart, Moonshine, and Sleetflash were near her, offering reassurance with brushes of the fur and kind murmured words. She couldn't hear them. "How did it happen?"

"She... she died in a fight with a rogue. She died defending her Clan," Snowblossom managed.

Brave, loyal, Wolfsong would have willingly given her life for her Clan many times over. Somehow the fact that it had been noble, in a fair fight almost made it worse. It would have been better if she had been snatched away, if there had been no moment of calm. _You were too good. Why?_

"The darkest hour is always before dawn," Sleetflash said in a voice that was only meant for her.

Iceshadow turned to her with all the bitterness and sorrow she felt showing clearly in her eyes. "If she is dead no dawn will ever come."


	32. Chapter 31, Reasons and Questions

**Thanks goes to SUNMIST, Badgerclaw ThunderClan Warrior, and Iceshadow911247. The chapter title is kind of lousy, but oh well.**

Chapter 31, Reasons and Questions

Two moons had passed and the cold air of leafbare was coming, leaves drifted through the gray sky to be cradled softly on the ground.

It was on this cloudy afternoon that a litter of kits was being born. Mudsplash and Fishshadow's kits. The leaf fall splash of colors was dimmed by the hazy surroundings as the eyes of misery watched from the ThunderClan and ShadowClan border.

Iceshadow sat between the two borders, two Clans, two sides of herself that had always battled inside of her. She had lost her mentor, the cat who had taught her the difference between right and wrong, how to defend herself - and to do anything to follow her heart.

_What if I can't follow my heart?_

_What if my heart is wrong?_

_What if I don't know my heart is telling me?_

Questions like this had plagued Iceshadow's apprentice days, and now they had returned. When she thought she had figured it out, when she thought she could live the rest of her life in peace with the ones she loved, her mentor was snatched away from her.

Her sister Snowblossom had given birth a month before, but Iceshadow was reluctant to tread on ThunderClan territory. She felt as if it was singing to her, trying to hold her under its sway once again.

_Why did you have to leave me all alone?_

The truth became stark clear as Iceshadow contemplated all that had befallen her.

_It's because I wasn't good enough. _

When she thought about her life, it came like drops of rain pouring down, flashing past her very eyes.

Flying on top of Forestkit, attacking a Clanmate, after taunting him.

_It's because I was too violent._

Leaving everyone she had cared about, leaving Wolfsong and leaving her family.

_It's because I didn't care enough about you._

She remembered insanity clouding her mind, a terrible prophecy coming to her.

_It's because I was destined for evil._

The final reason came to her, cold and clear in the warm autumn light.

_It's because I'm bad, because I'm dark, because I'm _wrong.

There was something wrong with her, there had to be.

Because if there wasn't, there was no excuse.

No excuse for being who she was.

*.*

The pines were dark and gloomy as Iceshadow trod the ground underneath them, returning to ShadowClan camp.

Snakeclaw brushed up beside her. "Iceshadow," he murmured.

Snakeclaw was the one person who hadn't left her, it seemed. Snowblossom and Forestshadow were now parents, and had left her in that way. Nightrose had found Shadefrost again. Wolfsong had died.

Snakeclaw was still here - but how _could_ he love her? How could he love a cat who could so easily succumb to the treacherous but seductive grips of insanity? "What is it?" she asked, her mind on other things. Her mind was still on Wolfsong, and partially on Snowblossom's kits.

"I think there's something to see," he said simply, and then with a cold sweep of air he was gone, pointing with his tail towards the nursery. Iceshadow looked thoughtfully after her loved one. She wondered if someday she would have kits. Now, it seemed unreal.

When she was an apprentice, she used to think about things like that. She used to imagine what each of them would be like, and whether they would become warriors or maybe a medicine cat - but that had been wishful thinking, flights of fancy. Nothing like reality.

She headed through the air, which seemed thick, towards the dark and secluded nursery. "Mudsplash?" her voice rang out in the enclosed space. It almost seemed hollow.

"Iceshadow," Mudsplash purred.

Sleetflash, on the other hand, hissed her name. "Iceshadow, get over here."

Iceshadow responded quickly to the command, frowning at its harshness. Sleetflash had given up trying to help her over Wolfsong's death long ago - in these two moons Iceshadow had stayed true to her words and so she intended to remain. She could not simply _get over_ her mentor's death, she _would_ not.

She stared down at the nest of kits before her eyes, stretched and tangled through each other. The kits were wet from licking. Three tiny bodies squirmed, and Iceshadow had a hard time imagining they could really be cats. They seemed alien, simply different somehow.

But they must be cats, they must have personalities and dreams in the making, she told herself. They were so strange, though.

"They're beautiful," she said, with a bit of uncertainty.

But Sleetflash was intent on something else, truly not paying any attention to Iceshadow of Mudsplash's feelings. Her blue eyes gleamed in the warm darkness, seeming to try and convey a message just through looking.

"Look at them," she hissed in the same, harsh, quiet voice.

Iceshadow, compelled to obey by some strange force, as if her eyes were being dragged once again to the wet mounds of fur. Covered by two other, unknowing bodies was the third kit.

At first Iceshadow saw only a strange occurrence - it already had it's eyes open. She supposed that might be of some interest to Sleetflash as a medicine cat, but why would Snakeclaw have come to tell her to go then?

Then she looked closer.

The third kit was a gray kit, with wide amber eyes. The eyes were wise, and Iceshadow inexorably recognized those eyes and the deepness and wisdom in them.

"Wolfsong," she breathed.

**Cliffie! Sort of... Thanks to all my loyal reviewers and readers again, it makes me so happy to know you like it. Also I have a question for any reviewers who would be open to me PMing them to ask them - regarding plot! Thanks guys... if you don't mind say so in your review. Thanks!**

**~Iceshadow~**


	33. Chapter 32, Burning Emotions

__**Thanks to everyone who reviewed! **

Chapter 32, Burning Emotions

Iceshadow stared in wide eyed amazement at the tiny creature before her. "Wolfsong," she breathed again.

"I decided to call her Wolfkit," Mudsplash offered, seeing where Iceshadow's eyes were looking.

Sleetflash's blue eyes followed Iceshadow's every movement, until the younger cat was forced to brusquely depart, wishing Mudsplash well. The medicine cat padded out of the den into the cold morning air, and touched Iceshadow's shoulder with her tail.

"This is amazing," Iceshadow said, almost in a whisper. Her eyes were full of wonder, and Sleetflash felt a rush of satisfaction that the wonder had returned. She could remember Iceshadow as an apprentice, those same eyes glowing with emotion.

_You taught me how to feel._

Before, Sleetflash would have brushed out of the nursery without caring for the newborn kits, without kind words - but this apprentice, so full of emotion and wonder had changed her, touched her. The feeling had gone out of those eyes recently, become the dull misery of grief.

Now it was back, in all of it's energy, wonder, and love. "Sometimes there are no words," Sleetflash whispered softly. There were no adequate words to describe the emotion in her eyes, there were no words to describe life in all of it's sorrow and glory.

Word paint a pretty picture - but a pale one, compared to the imagination that makes them shine.

*.*

"Hollyfire is sick!" Iceshadow slowly blinked open her eyes, sleep skimming away from her with a fleeting glance. It was Moonshine who had spoken, yellow gaze conveying concern.

"Hollyfire!" The white shecat realized what was going on. "Is it greencough?" Iceshadow asked quickly - Hollyfire was their deputy!

"Whitecough, but Sleetflash says it will be a long case from the slow start on symptoms," Silverheart told her Clanmate quicly.

"Will there be a stand in deputy?" Snakeclaw asked eagerly.

At that moment, the customary call rang out. Iceshadow felt at thrill of anticipation as she rushed into the clearing. She had finally found where she belonged.

"Cats of ShadowClan," Petalstar's eyes were kind as she looked down at them. "As you know, Hollyfire has contracted whitecough. We need a temporary deputy while she recovers. The cat I have chosen will not be a full deputy, and will be heavily advised by senior warriors. Therefore I have elected in my best judgement to choose a warrior who has not mentored an apprentice." Murmurs swept through the crowd at this, but Iceshadow couldn't take her eyes of Petalstar's.

"Iceshadow... of ShadowClan."

Iceshadow felt a surge of emotion too strong to describe, like the flames from a fire sweeping across her heart.

It might only be temporary...

but this was her dream.

*.*

_"Thunder to __S__hadow, dust to dust, ashes to ashes, ice to shadow. Daughter of Thunder and __S__on of __S__hadow bring upon themselves the greatest pain the Clans have known. Bloom of the Night cannot hide it, but the face that shows nothing will be the undoing of both."_

_"__Shadow on ice is doubly wrong, for ice is cold-hearted and shadow casts all the others into shadow. The wrongs of the past and present cannot be righted, because of the daughter of Thunder._

_The forest will tremble, for the coming of the shadow on ice. Lies will be spread, and it will be thought that the wrong was righted._

_The wrong cannot be righted._

_The forest will be frozen, and lie under shadow."_

"What does it mean?" She sat in a dark forest, starlight shining over her.

"You will feel the greatest pain the Clans have known... but you will shake the forest with love." The voice came from nowhere, empty and full at the same time.

"I don't understand."

"Do you know you'll never have the happy ending, do you know you'll never have your dreams?" It asked, showing nothing.

"I have my dream," Iceshadow smiled.

"You'll never have his kits."

The sentence took her breath away, and the fire was back. It was the burning fire, not of ambition, sorrow, not of joy, but of anger.

Why did you do this to me, StarClan? How can you just tell me that I'll never have what I dreamed of?

Emotions are like the sky - sometimes cold snowflakes drifting down and giving a frozen beauty of sorrow, sometimes quiet, sad, forgotten raindrops, sometimes as bright as the sunshine...

But sometimes they burn you worse than fire.

**This is the second to last chapter... Please visit my forum, Iceshadow of ShadowClan's forum after it's over to help me decide on the plot for my next story if you liked this one!**

**~Iceshadow...**

**of ShadowClan~**


	34. Chapter 33, Living Dreams

**Thanks to Iceshadow911247.**

Chapter 33, Living Dreams

_Six moons later._

Petalstar jumped up onto the dead tree, clawing her way up to stand in the late afternoon light. "Cats of ShadowClan," she called out. "A very important time has come in the lives of three young cats. Step forward, Leafkit, Thornkit, and Wolfkit."

As Iceshadow watched from the shadowy, dappled trees she watched the form she knew so well on the path to hardship, pain - and maybe someday, love.

Words don't describe emotion, true, pure emotion.

A pale silver cat with a brown tailtip, and pretty green eyes followed the determined gray shecat, with amber eyes flashing. Beside Wolfkit was Thornkit, a ginger tom with gentle brown eyes.

"Thornkit, you will be mentored by Silverheart," Petalstar called out, with excitement in her eyes. She was determining the course of their lives. "Leafkit, it is your wish to become a medicine cat. Sleetflash will teach you the ways of StarClan, and how to fulfil your dream."

Iceshadow felt a familiar emotion as she heard the word _dream._ It meant everything to her - like an old childhood friend, greeting her like she'd never left the innocence. It was where she could escape, it was what she thought about constantly, it was an all consuming, fire, it was a cool river, washing her back to the shores of serenity.

It was everything.

"Wolfkit." The words rang through the clearing, and in one moment everything stopped. The wind, the needles stopped swaying and froze, the birds stopped singing and all that stayed was Iceshadow's blue eyes and the soft sunlight.

"Your mentor will be Iceshadow."

*.*

_One moon later._

Wolfpaw was bouncing through the drifts of leaves, Snakeclaw was playing with her as Iceshadow sat quietly. There were many thoughts, running through her mind like streams of sunlight.

Wolfpaw was like the daughter she would never have. She had been the mother Iceshadow had lost to betrayal. _I'll do everything for you - I'll teach you everything you know, I'll always be there for you, I'll... I'll do everything you did for me, and you made me who I am._

Words are nothing. They may be like the wood of a fire, once they were trees, branches of green spreading underneath the ever changing skies... but they are the wood, and the fire is the light, the heat, the beauty. The fire is what they mean to us, the emotion they can give us and the dreams we can express in them.

Without our dreams, we would be nothing. They are _everything,_ and the one word that can express and emotion is...

_Dream._

She had been through a lot, she'd lost people and she'd thought everything was lost.

But she's kept going.

You have to keep going, no matter what.

If you gave up, you gave up your life.

In the fierce world of the warriors, this was an unspoken law of life, but it had another meaning. It was laces with dark veins of life, and it it pulsed with emotion. If you gave up on life, succumbed to the death and sorrow, you were gone forever.

As the sunlight streamed down onto the thick, dry, grass a leaf fluttered through the air, turning and twisting, it's golden splendor in the breeze.

Iceshadow's claw swiftly came up, and she heard the crackle of it breaking.

Words don't express what we have to go through in life, but as the sunlight streamed through the forest...

Sometimes she didn't need words.

END OF PART ONE

**I'd like to personally thank all of you, and to tell you when the sequel will be out. Part two will take place, in the same story (as in it'll just be the next chapter of this story), after I've gotten some help possibly deciding on the main character's appearance, personality, name and etc. Visit Iceshadow of ShadowClan's forum to help me out there.**

**Now, what has been important to me.**

**You've helped me through writing my story. Without the unexpected 134 reviews, when I never thought this story would get half that many, it wouldn't have been as good as it was. You've given me help with your constructive criticism, you've made me a better writer with them and for that, you have my thanks. You've given me praise, and that means more to me than you'd think. Even the slightest kind word, even when it was just to keep me writing after giving me criticism, meant a lot. Writing is my dream and I'm proud to call this story my best story yet, and you've made it that.**

**I can't tell you how grateful I am for that, that you've been so kind, that you've made me feel like maybe my dream has a chance, and even if this story hasn't changed your life - I feel like it's changed mine. **

**I'd like to thank all of you for helping me - **

Mintfrost29

Amber342

Poison Black Holly

SnowstarX

Tabby-Tiger-Cat

NaomiThePheonixfromBluestar

Anonymous Anon

R.L. Sisters

Moonblaze13

Sunmist

Priceless Cat Lady

Anonymous Koraki

Drakan722

Anonymous Brightstorm

Violetsong

Miryam lea

monkeyCsaw

MyrtleFalls

The Freak of Nature

Talons That Fly Upon Rainbows

Horse8910

DIGITALRANDOMNESS

Skystar Leader of FlameClan

NeedoSkeedo

AthenasOwl11

Rain's Feather

Meta-If

SorrelxCrowForever

Badgerclaw ThunderClan Warrior

MatsuriWolfsong

The Goddess of Darkness

The Storm-Mist account

Arkxy-chan

Spottedstream

XSpiritwingX

Anonymous Playing With Fire

Emberstar of Iceclan

Silvershadow1142

_Words don't convey what this story has meant to me._

_~Iceshadow of ShadowClan~_


	35. Prologue and Allegiances

**_IMPORTANT! This is the new Prologue for Shadow on Ice Pt 2! The rest will not follow until SEPTEMBER. Thank you all. :) _  
><strong>

**_NOTE: this gets dark and disturbing._**

ALLEGIANCES

ShadowClan:

Leader: Petalstar: white she-cat with amber eyes; stern and serious, but cares for her Clan

Deputy: Iceshadow: white she-cat with black splotches on left hind leg and deep blue eyes; ambitious and loyal, relies heavily on the warrior code, and feels as if she doesn't really belong in ThunderClan.

Medicine cat: Sleetflash: grayish silver tortieshell with deep blue eyes; she does her duties, but without much heart or sympathy, but she's changed.

Warriors:

Mudsplash: Pudgy brown she-cat with brown eyes; think she's nothing special even though she's devoted to her Clanmates and is a great hunter.

Hollyfire: black she-cat with ginger splotches and green eyes; she's a fierce she-cat that needs no tom, even though many like her.

Owlsong: light tan she-cat with amber eyes; she's gentle but has hidden steel, and sorrow in her heart.

Fishshadow: black tom with green eyes; crafty and Mudsplash's mate.

Silverheart: silver she-cat with pretty green eyes; intelligent, has a strong bond with her sister but also with Snakeclaw and Iceshadow.

Moonshine: white she-cat with yellow eyes; a good fighter, sometimes regarded as the muscle whereas Silverheart is the brain, but she is loyal and has learned a lot from her early apprentice days.

Snakeclaw: brown and gray tabby tom with amber eyes; very shy, doesn't open up easily, but has grown into a good warrior and Iceshadow and he love each other.

Apprentices:

Wolfpaw: Dark gray shecat with amber eyes; Iceshadow's old mentor reincarnated, strong, too wise for her age, has a close bond with Iceshadow and Snakeclaw. Mentor - Iceshadow

Thornpaw: Ginger tom with gentle brown eyes; will follow Wolfpaw into trouble easily but doesn't have an instinct for mischief. Mentor - Silverheart

Leafpaw: pale silver shecat with a brown tailtip and green eyes; her dream is to become a medicine cat, but she likes to be in control. Mentor - Sleetflash

Queens:

None at the moment

Elders:

Sweetsnow: once pretty white and ginger she-cat with long fluffy fur and blue eyes; she's the only elder and easily gets lonely, but she's very sweet.

ThunderClan:

Leader: Lavenderstar: gray she-cat with blue eyes with purple flecks in them; gentle, loyal, etc.

Deputy: Tigersplash: black she-cat with amber eyes and an orange striped tail and paws; loyal, great fighter, ambitious, etc.

Medicine cat: Swiftwing: white and tan she-cat with green eyes; sweet medicine cat that has lots of sympathy for the patients.

Warriors:

Nightrose: black she-cat with green eyes; gentle on the outside but if you look deeper she's angry at herself. (Iceshadow and Snowblossom's mother)

Shadefrost: black tom with icy blue eyes; cunning and sly but good loyal warrior.

Lightflash: tan she-cat with blue eyes; gentle and sweet, Owlstripe's mate, Forestshadow's mother.

Owlstripe: brown tom with lighter stripes and amber eyes; he's a good, honest, loyal warrior, Lightflash's mate, Forestshadow's father.

Snowblossom: white she-cat with blue eyes; a gentle soul, deeply in love with Forestshadow, but also brave and can be determined.(Iceshadow's sister)

Forestshadow: brown tortie tom with amber eyes; Snowblossom's mate and a good friend to Iceshadow, brave and gentle.

Queens:

None

Elders:

Flameflow: ginger tom with amber eyes; grumpy old cat that bites peoples head off for fun.

Cats Outside the Clans:

Maskface: Brown tortieshell tom; no one really knows what he's up to and he is totally mysterious and can keep secrets.

Shine: Cream shecat with bright blue eyes; Maskface's friend, alone except for him, slightly mysterious but understands more than most.

PROLOGUE

The night was dark. Iceshadow stumbled through the pine forest, growling under her breath whenever she tripped. _I hate tripping. _Finally she came to rest by a moss covered pine. It felt good, comforting against her back. Her eyes darted through the gloom.

Then, finally, they came to rest by her paws and the ground which she could barely see. Her chest tightened as her breath started to come in quicker gasps.

_I have never felt this alone before._ she realized.

Hollyfire had been promoted again to deputy. There was a Twoleg problem affecting ShadowClan and ThunderClan territory. Snakeclaw, Wolfpaw, Tigersplash, and Shadowpaw - Snowblossom's daughter had been chosen to go and find what the problem was.

She only saw Snowblossom at gatherings. Most of the time she was talking to Forestshadow, even there, and Nightrose also spent most time talking about the Twoleg problem with other cats. Even at the gatherings, when she could see her family, she felt lonely.

Essentially, every one she talked to was gone. She missed Snakeclaw so much now, when she needed him more than ever.

Iceshadow growled again at the cold night air. Why was it so dark? Why did she even care? Why couldn't she just feel something?

She should get back. Her absence would be noticed soon. _Or would it?_ She wondered. No one seemed to notice her absence now.

_I wonder if they'll notice this._

Without thinking, her claw slid along her own white fur. Up from her paw, the cut ended halfway up her arm. She gasped slightly at the wave of pain, but then cut again. Deeper.

It felt good. Why did this feel so good? Deep down, it felt like she had always been afraid of pain. Red blood welled up, dark in the night. Again she gasped, at the pain.

_They can't see this. This can't be happening. _She felt crazy, like she was slipping away from herself. Quickly she tried to stem the blood flow. It gave her a strange sense of euphoria to see it there. Licking at it, it tasted salty. Once it had stopped, she tried to find some herbs. It was nearly impossible.

_I'll say I cut it on a rock if they ask. Or will I tell them the truth, can I tell anyone the truth? _She had a responsibility to be fit as a warrior, but she wanted to feel _something._ It had just happened, and now it felt good.

So she went back, still bleeding slightly from her paw. The paw she had once crossed with Snowblossom's to show how close they were. She could still remember her claw flashing as it drew blood, but the actual pain was fading. Somehow she wished it wouldn't end now, that the blood was still coming.

_What am I coming to?_


	36. Chapter 1, Changed

**AN - SO SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG! And sorry it's short.**

Changed

Iceshadow slowly blinked her eyes open. The dark, warmth of the moss was the only thing she could see. She closed her eyes again.

_I don't want to face the world yet._

_I can't face the world yet._

A paw prodded her in the side. "Iceshadow, wake up."

Iceshadow groaned. "I'm coming."

Slowly, the world came back. She hadn't spoken to Snowblossom and Nightrose for moons. Snakeclaw and Wolfpaw had gone. Hollyfire was deputy.

And what would happen to Iceshadow? _What about me?_ The sky was gray, but Iceshadow blinked quickly. _It's so bright,_ she thought. She swung her head to see who had woken her. It was Silverheart, gazing gently at her.

Iceshadow almost asked Silverheart to help her, but bit the words back. _No one is going to help you. _She got up, and stretched. Then she padded out of the den.

Iceshadow greeted Moonshine as she passed by the big white shecat. "Petalstar wants to talk to you," Moonshine informed her.

"Why?" Iceshadow wrinkled her nose. _I'm not the deputy anymore._

"I don't know." Moonshine shrugged. "Maybe she wants you to order some apprentices around."

"That'll be fun." Iceshadow's whiskers twitched. "No, I like our apprentices."

"Order them to catch leaves. They do it very seriously, you should try it." Moonshine advised.

Iceshadow laughed. "Okay. I'll try it." Then she continued into Petalstar's den.

"Iceshadow." Petalstar's voice came, and then she bounded out of a dark corner of the den. "Glad to see you."

"Likewise, Petalstar." Iceshadow lowered her head respectfully, but stiffly.

"I merely wanted to thank you for serving as a fill in deputy while Hollyfire was ill," Petalstar said. "And I wondered if you could lead a patrol this afternoon."

"Yes, Petalstar. Of course." Iceshadow walked quickly out of the den. She decided to hunt. "Silverheart, will you hunt with me?" she asked.

"Sure," Silverheart padded alongside her into the forest. "It's getting cold," she remarked.

"I know." Iceshadow fluffed her fur up. "I can't believe it's almost leafbare."

Silverheart scanned the undergrowth. "Time flies."

"Like birds, but not forever." Iceshadow gestured with her paw to a nearby pine tree. Around halfway up, there was a blackbird sunning itself. Iceshadow didn't imagine it could be getting much warmth on the cold day, but it really didn't matter. Without another word, she hurled herself at the tree. Her claws hooked into the tender bark, and quietly, she began to climb. When she was on the branch below the bird, she thanked StarClan it had a film over its eyes. It would have noticed her if it hadn't been sunning itself.

Without a thought to the huge drop below, she leaped up, her claw striking the bird hard on the neck. The bones shattered as blood fell from the wound. Both Iceshadow and the bird fell. Iceshadow could feel the wild rush of wind through her fur, and for a moment she was weightless. She was terrified and exhilarated.

Iceshadow hit the ground, pine needles flying up in all directions around her. Her paws hit the ground with a loud, solid, thump. Her ears rang for a moment, and pain pounded through her paws.

Silverheart's eyes were wide. "That was amazing!"

Iceshadow caught her breath for a moment. "Thanks. It caught the bird, that's what matters."

"Didn't it hurt, falling from that height?" Silverheart asked curiously.

"Not really," Iceshadow lied. It did hurt, but she didn't mind. In fact, it intrigued her. "Let's see if we can find anything else."

They prowled through the woods, which looked almost the same as they always did. Except for the gray sky, and the chill in the air, it was the same as always. And the cats in the forest had changed.

And later, at night, when no one was awake, and she stared out into the dark gloom, she knew how much they had changed. Just how much she had changed.


	37. Vanish

Vanish

Anger surged through her. She hated the forest around her. The blurry, wet, oaks. She didn't want to be here. She wanted to be back in ShadowClan. The weak gray light combined with the wet, flimsy oak leaves only gave an indication of weakness. _Pathetic,_ she thought coldly._ Just like me._

She was waiting for her sister. Watching the rain fall down. It fell onto her fur. She sneezed. The moss she had sat down on was soaked, and prickly with fallen twigs. Iceshadow was waiting. She had been waiting for hours.

Iceshadow cursed. _Where are you when I need you? _The answer was evident as she shivered.

Iceshadow walked back, a growl begging to be released in her throat. She needed help. Needed someone to help her. Needed her sister. But that help was being denied. Snowblossom didn't care, obviously. _That's not true!_ Something inside of her wailed. _She cares about you. She has to care about you. _A darker thought, but the fear that had been in her mind all along found a voice. _She forgot you. All of ThunderClan forgot you. _After all, why would you care about someone you never saw? Someone you didn't really know anymore? Someone who was really gone, vanished into the air.

_Vanish._ The thought was a tempting one. _Vanish. Just vanish. _Run away? How could she vanish? Suddenly, she wanted it with a deep craving. She wanted to vanish. Vanish from the rain, the cold wind blowing around her. Vanish from the light she felt, and the pain when the dark slammed into her.

_I need it. I need to vanish._

For a while, she sat there, alone. The world she was in was drab, unimportant, ordinary. She hated it. She wanted to build her own world. And slowly, she closed her eyes.

Iceshadow pictured herself in her forest. ShadowClan forest.

Black and white. Beautiful. Perfect. She loved it. Perfect for her. The colors, the sounds, made her head spin. When she closed her eyes and imagined her other world, she could hear her heart beating. She didn't understand why she needed it so much, only that she did. Iceshadow. It was in her. In her name, in her heart, in her mind. It filled her completely. She didn't need the world where she was second rate and alone. The world where she was there, her existence only hurting her every moment. She didn't need it. She could be alone, she could vanish, as long as she had her escape. Her way to vanish.

Iceshadow's blue eyes snapped open, and the color flashed against her eyes. She focused with difficulty, and saw Snowblossom standing in front of her. "Snowblossom!" Iceshadow called. In a moment, Iceshadow crossed the ThunderClan border and touched noses with her sister.

"You have no idea how good it is to see you." Iceshadow said warmly.

"What is it?" Snowblossom asked.

Iceshadow waited, moving her paws on the moss. "Whatever you think of me, think of me of someone entirely else. Someone you don't even know."

Snowblossom frowned. "Okay."

"I clawed myself. Over and over. Snowblossom, I just felt so alone. Please, I know it's-"

Snowblossom's eyes had widened. "It's wrong."

The word echoed through her head. _Wrong. Perverse. Bad. Wicked. Evil. Wrong, simply wrong. _

"Iceshadow, you need someone to help you."

Iceshadow wanted to wail, _you were supposed to be that person._

"I'm sorry." Snowblossom began to back away, running too fast away.

"Snowblossom! Snowblossom!" Iceshadow called again and again, but Snowblossom didn't turn back. "SNOW!" She yelled.

_Alone. Again._

__Iceshadow closed her eyes to the rain and tried her best to vanish.


	38. Choke

**Hey again, peoplez. I know it's short.**

Choke

Iceshadow didn't want to get up, couldn't get up. Silverheart prodded her again and again in the side. "Iceshadow, get up! It's almost sunhigh!"

Iceshadow closed her eyes. "Go away."

"You have a responsibility to your Clan," Silverheart said softly.

Iceshadow was silent.

"Please?"

Iceshadow snuggled deeper into the moss. She wanted to stay where it was warm, where it was safe, and most importantly she didn't have to talk to anyone.

"Iceshadow, you have to get up." Silverheart growled.

"Leave me alone!" Iceshadow mewed.

Silverheart turned her over manually, Iceshadow blinking furiously as the light burned her eyes. "Stop it!"

"What's wrong with you?" Silverheart asked angrily.

"Everything," Iceshadow whispered. She wanted nothing more than to forget it all, but Silverheart had woken her up, and kept prodding her.

"Well, fix it!" Silverheart growled. "ShadowClan needs you."

Iceshadow blinked.

*.*

Iceshadow finally got up, her legs shaking and her head pounding. _There is something wrong with me. __Why can't I be normal? _The whole thing was bizarre, wrong, strange. She wanted it gone, done with, erased from her life. She wanted her sister back, her friends back, Snakeclaw back.

She padded across the camp, amazed that she could stand up.

Then came a sight that shook her. Iceshadow blinked, and blinked again until the shuddering blackness was too much and she had to stop blinking.

It was him, really him. Solid, real, looking right into her eyes. He was back. Iceshadow rushed to Snakeclaw without a second thought, pressing her nose against his. Snakeclaw purred as she pressed into him, nuzzling and sniffing him. "Iceshadow," he meowed.

Iceshadow had forgotten about all the other cats around them. She pulled back immediately, embarrassment flooding through her. "Snakeclaw," she swallowed.

Petalstar came through the crowd. "Snakeclaw, Wolfpaw. Welcome back."

"Petalstar." Snakeclaw dipped his head to his leader.

"You returned sooner than anticipated," Petalstar said warmly. "What are your findings?"

Snakeclaw paused briefly. "We believe the twoleg problem is temporary. By the time we got there, the twolegs were mostly gone."

Petalstar nodded. "Thank you, Snakeclaw and Wolfpaw. Your efforts are most appreciated."

Wolfpaw ran to Iceshadow, rubbing muzzles with her. "Wolfpaw," Iceshadow purred. "I missed you, little one."

"I missed you too, Iceshadow." The small gray shecat answered into Iceshadow's fur. After a moment, Iceshadow spoke. "Don't you think you should go say hello to your mother? She missed you too."

"Oh." Wolfpaw jumped away, and scampered over to where Mudsplash and Fishshadow were waiting.

Warmth flooded through Iceshadow. Snakeclaw pressed himself to her, sniffing her softly. Iceshadow felt like screaming. How she could be so happy, and so unhappy about it?

"Iceshadow..." He was looking at the scratches, the marks.

She wanted to run, run far away before he asked her what had happened. "Not here," she whispered.

Snakeclaw's amber eyes bored into hers, but after a while he broke his gaze away, and twined his tail with hers. "It's good to be back."

She rested her head on his back for a moment. "It's good to have you back," she said, desperately trying not to choke.


	39. Hunting

Hunting

Iceshadow walked out into the cold forest with Snakeclaw. She hoped soon the cold weather would break and Newleaf would follow. When she voiced this thought to Snakeclaw he simply nodded without looking her in the eye. They were completely alone. Iceshadow tried to avoid looking into his eyes by looking at the familiar pine trees, seeking a distraction in the needles softly falling and the diffused light coming through the canopy. But finally she couldn't stand not looking at him anymore.

Her eyes were drawn to him, she couldn't break them away. It hurt to see the concern in his eyes, but she couldn't look away once she'd looked into his amber eyes.

"Iceshadow." His voice woke a part of her that had been sleeping. The part that felt. The way his whiskers twitched.

_I felt. I felt when he wasn't there._ She tried to pin down what she was feeling. _I felt pain._ What was this? The tingling, apprehensive feeling? She hadn't felt this since the first time she'd seen him. There was pain, but there was also something else. Pain of what she'd done, and how it changed her. He didn't know her anymore. What if he didn't love her anymore?

Like a clawmark, that thought stung and stung and didn't really stop. His eyes calmed her slightly, but her heart was beating fast. Fear? He smiled at her, whiskers twitching up. "Iceshadow?"

"I'm glad you remember my name." Could she really try to act normal around him? Now?

Snakeclaw laughed. "You were staring at me for ages."

"I like staring at you." Iceshadow replied, whiskers twitching up for the first time in a long time.

After a while, Snakeclaw stopped the easy, light conversation that Iceshadow was starting to become fond of. It was simple, easy and it was what she needed. Or what would keep her together.

"Talk to me." He was growling. Iceshadow instinctively stepped back, and would have growled at him, but the look in his eyes stopped her.

The silence hurt in her throat. "I clawed myself." She choked. "I clawed myself and I didn't know why, only that I needed it more and more." Iceshadow couldn't look at him, couldn't stop talking. "Snakeclaw, it hurt and I kept doing it and I don't know what's wrong with me."

Snakeclaw brushed his fur against hers. Warmth flooded from him to her, and she rested her chin on his back. His touch was gentle and steady. "Iceshadow," he said softly.

Iceshadow tore herself from him to look into his eyes.

"It doesn't matter."

She blinked in confusion. "What?" The word was hoarse coming from her mouth, disbelief in her blue eyes.

"It doesn't matter." Snakeclaw repeated himself slowly. "I love you, no matter what. And do you know what?" He gently looked at her, lifting a paw and placing it over hers.

"What?" Iceshadow asked, voice trembling. She ached to bury herself in him again, close her eyes and forget the world while listening to his heartbeat, but she forced to look into his eyes until he finished talking.

If she hadn't known better, she would have sworn that he was silently laughing at her. "We're going hunting."

"Hunting?" Iceshadow stared at him. "Hunting?"

"Hunting. Come on. We're going to talk over a nice mouse, or sparrow, or something." Snakeclaw said as he padded away from her. "Are you coming?" he turned back, and she knew she couldn't say no to him.

"Always," she murmured.


	40. Tragedy Follows

Tragedy Follows

Iceshadow woke up to a thin layer of snow covering everything. For a moment, her eyes lit up at the sparkling snow. Then the kit like excitement faded and she looked away. Iceshadow looked back to the warriors den. All the others were asleep. Iceshadow cuddled closer to Snakeclaw, looking out at the snow. As she gazed out at the white covering the forest, she felt emptiness. She missed the time when she would have bounded out into the snow, and rolled in it.

Iceshadow stretched out of the den a little, and scooped up a pawful of snow. She squeezed it slightly, and listened to it crunch slightly. She dumped it out of her paw, watching it fall like pine needles.

She felt Snakeclaw move behind her. "Playing with the snow?" he asked lightly, resting his head on her side.

Iceshadow purred. "I guess so."

Snakeclaw's whiskers twitched. "Come on." He stretched, and padded out into the snow. Iceshadow followed, standing next to him.

Snakeclaw flicked some snow onto her with his claws. Iceshadow hissed, and did the same. In a matter of minutes, they were rolling around in the snow. Snakeclaw fell into a deeper drift of snow, and Iceshadow leapt down next to him, digging more snow onto him.

"Hey!" he protested, pushing her into the snow.

Iceshadow laughed as he rolled on top of her. They rolled over each other until they heard paws padding towards them. Iceshadow looked up in surprise. Petalstar was looking gently at Iceshadow and Snakeclaw. Wolfpaw inquisitively asked, "What are you doing?"

"We're playing," Snakeclaw purred at the young apprentice, getting off of Iceshadow. He looked up at Petalstar. "Sorry, Petalstar."

Petalstar looked at them both. "Play," she said gently. It was good to see Iceshadow looking alive again.

Wolfpaw asked, "Can I play too?"

"Of course you can." Iceshadow purred, looking into the all too familiar eyes of her apprentice. She scooped snow onto Wolfpaw's head.

"Hey!" Wolfpaw squealed indignantly.

*.*

Iceshadow was sitting by the freshkill pile, eating a mouse when Thornpaw and Silverheart ran into camp. "Petalstar! Petalstar!" Silverheart called in a strained voice.

Petalstar padded out of her den, a thrush in her mouth. She put the thrush down. "What is it?"

"It's Hollyfire. She went out hunting last night, and we thought she'd come back in the morning. She didn't." Silverheart panted, and Petalstar nodded. "We were on the dawn patrol, and we went to look for her. That's why we're late."

"Where is she?" Petalstar asked anxiously.

Silverheart paused, still breathing heavily. "She's dead. She was lying in the middle of a clearing. Whoever killed her obviously wasn't worried about hiding the body."

Petalstar sank down and closed her eyes. "Come into my den, please." Silverheart followed Petalstar silently. Thornpaw stood, panting, forlorn and alone in the middle of the clearing.

The words rang through Iceshadow's mind. _Dead. Dead. Dead._ Hollyfire was dead. Really dead. A twinge of guilt went through her, although she had nothing to do with it. She had never really got to know Hollyfire. Now the deputy was simply dead, and the chance was gone. Iceshadow sat, her thrush forgotten by her side. Snakeclaw came over to sit by her. "Iceshadow, are you going to eat that?"

"No," she said hoarsely, lost in her own thoughts.

Snakeclaw rolled his eyes. "Childish," he muttered.

Iceshadow growled, but he was right. She bent down to the thrush, and finished it. Thornpaw was still standing by himself in the corner, watching where Silverheart had disappeared to. Iceshadow stood up, legs slightly shaky. "Someone should talk to him," Iceshadow said. "Not many kits have to see a dead body."

"Mudsplash and Fishshadow are out hunting," Snakeclaw said. He padded over to Thornpaw, and Iceshadow followed.

It was Iceshadow that spoke first. "Thornpaw, are you alright?"

He stared blankly at her. Iceshadow didn't blame him - it had been a stupid question. "Would you like to come sit with us?"

Thornpaw swallowed, shook his head, and turned back to watching the shadowy entrance to Petalstar's den.

"I think they'll be in there for quite a long time," Snakeclaw told the young apprentice gently.

Thornpaw gave a small sigh, and came to sit by the warriors den. Normally the apprentice would have been thrilled at this chance, but today it was different. Wolfpaw came to sit by Thornpaw too, her small paws crunching in the snow as she approached. Usually Wolfpaw came up with a joke, or some kind of sweetly phrased mischevious question. Instead she just sat in the cold snow next to Iceshadow, Snakeclaw, and Thornpaw.

Iceshadow closed her eyes against the burning in her throat. A member of their Clan had died, and there was nothing they could have done. Hollyfire had probably just gone out for a little midnight hunting, as she liked to do. A memory of the Clan deputy arose, and Iceshadow had to push it back to avoid breaking down.

She sighed. _Tragedy follows us wherever we go._


	41. Time To Live Pt 1

Time To Live, Part One

Her heartbeat was fast. The dark of the night pressed in around her. She couldn't get to sleep. Hollyfire was dead, and that meant one thing to Iceshadow. Someone had killed her. Someone in ShadowClan? The thought disturbed her greatly. No one had a grudge against Holllyfire.

Another possibility occured to her, one which set her heart beating faster. ShadowClan now had no deputy. Her head spun. Had another Clan killed Hollyfire, weakenning ShadowClan? She was so tired, and so confused. She didn't know anything anymore.

Iceshadow couldn't sleep. No matter how hard she tried, her heart kept beating hard and the image of Hollyfire kept spinning through her mind. Eventually, she got up. She padded through the dark camp, her white fur a dull glow through the dark night.

A voice called out. Iceshadow turned around, to see Sleetflash's deep blue eyes looking into hers. "Sleetflash," Iceshadow greeted her as warmly as she could.

"Iceshadow," Sleetflash dipped her head. "It's good to see you. Could I talk to you for a moment?"

"We are talking," Iceshadow said drily.

"Of course," Sleetflash said softly. "I'd like to see how your cuts are healing if you don't mind."

Iceshadow jumped as if she'd been stung by a bee. "What?"

Sleetflash looked straight in her eyes. "Iceshadow, I know."

Iceshadow growled. "Shut up."

Sleetflash was silent.

Iceshadow looked at the ground. "It's over. It's all over."

"No. It's not. It's not over by a long way, because you're still here." Sleetflash said softly.

"We're going to bury her in the morning. Would you like to see her?" Sleetflash said.

Iceshadow nodded numbly. She stumbled over to the body. Hollyfire was covered with red clawmarks. Iceshadow smiled. "Who do you think did it?"

"I don't know, but thank StarClan, I don't think it was a Clan warrior. The clawmarks are messy, badly placed, not clean like a trained warrior would have made. My guess is it might have been a rogue Hollyfire got into a fight with, or a fox or badger." Sleetflash said.

"I'm going to find who did it," Iceshadow said before racing into the dark away from the medicine cat.

*.*

She was pacing through the dark clearing, the pine needles stained red. She sniffed the air. There was another scent, a different scent than Hollyfire's. Iceshadow raced through the forest she had made her home, until she was out of breath. There was a noise. "Who's there?"

A dark figure stepped out of the gloom. Iceshadow strained to make out what it was.

"Run," A voice hissed.

"Who's there?" Iceshadow asked again, her voice trembling.

"Run!" The figure shoved her away, and panting, they both ran. Iceshadow didn't know what was going to happen, and she didn't even know what she was running from.

Suddenly, a heavy paw knocked her to the ground. Claws raked down her back. A scent flooded her nostrils. _Badger. _It was a big one, too. The clawmarks stung, and her head was spinning. She couldn't get up, she was paralysed with fear. A much subtler scent crept into her mind, and what it meant confused her was like her scent, but different. She didn't recognize it immediately, but then it flooded through her mind. _Maskface._ What was he doing here?

Maskface grunted as he was knocked to the ground by the badger. Iceshadow pushed herself up and clawed through the thick fur of the badger. She could barely see anything. She sank her claws into it, until Maskface could get up. They fought against it together, until it sunk to the ground in a pool of blood.

Iceshadow fell back, overwhelmed with all the blood. There had been too much blood, too much death. "Maskface, what are you doing here?"

"The badger came by the barn Shine and I live at. It left, coming towards to ShadowClan. I was going to warn you." he said softly.

"Just me?" The question was hard to ask.

"I made a mistake, one that I can't take back. I only wanted to warn you, because I don't want to see anyone hurt." Maskface said evasively.

"Well, I hope you're happy." Iceshadow said.

"It killed someone, didn't it?" Maskface asked.

"Hollyfire," Iceshadow said softly.

"I'm so sorry," he said.

"She's like your daughter, isn't she?" Iceshadow asked.

"Yes, I suppose she is. Shine made many things clear to me that I couldn't see before."

"Maskface, I really do hope you're happy." Iceshadow's voice was breaking as her father turned away from her and walked away. Iceshadow sighed. It was time to go back - time to live.


	42. Time to Live, Pt 2

**The very end, enjoy...**

Time To Live, Part Two

Iceshadow limped into the camp, clawmarks from the badger over her still. The setting

"Iceshadow." Petalstar was the one to greet her first. The whole Clan was sitting vigil for Hollyfire. Hollyfire's body had been gently laid in front of the huge dead tree. Iceshadow shuffled forward, dipping her head. Sleetflash stepped next to her, surveying her wounds. "What happened?" she asked.

The rest of the Clan was completely silent. Iceshadow found Snakeclaw's amber eyes. She looked at her apprentice, at Sweetsnow watching from the elder's den, at Sleetflash looking at her. Iceshadow frowned. _Am I wrong?_ She looked into their eyes once again. _No._ She knew what she saw. It surprised her more than anything had ever surprised her before. The emotion that she saw in Sleetflash's dark blue eyes, Sweetsnow's light blue eyes, Snakeclaw and Wolfpaw's amber eyes, it was pride.

"Stand in front of me, Iceshadow." Petalstar commanded, voice clear and calm.

Iceshadow padded hesitantly in front of her leader. She couldn't quite look up at the white shecat. "This day, we have lost a Clanmate. We have mourned her loss, and now she resides in the starry forests in the sky. It is time to move on." Petalstar's voice was starting to break down, and she paused to look at the ground before her. "We will always miss Hollyfire. She was a brave and courageous warrior, and we will always honour her memory. It is time to choose the new deputy of ShadowClan."

Iceshadow looked at the moon, which was setting behind Petalstar. She didn't think she'd spent enough time looking at the night sky before.

"The new deputy of ShadowClan will be Iceshadow of ShadowClan." Petalstar said before retreating to the seclusion of her den.

Iceshadow felt a crazy rush. She couldn't explain it right now, but she didn't have to. She would take care of her Clan, what always had been her Clan. She would live the rest of her life here, and she would live her life to the fullest she could. She turned to the big dead tree behind her, silhouetted against the moonlight. She leapt up, clawing through the bark to pull herself up. She sat, silhouetted against the sky.

That was they started calling her name. She lifted her head to the clear sky, looking through the pine branches at the sky. Her sky.

THE END


End file.
